• We're currently experiencing technical issues with our newsletter software, so our Dementia Talking Point monthly updates have been put on hold for now. We hope to restart the newsletter soon.

    Find out more >here<.

No idea where to go next...

picnic

Registered User
Jan 1, 2016
4
Manchester
My dad is 74 and has always been very chilled. He's a different person. Angry, confrontational, aggressive, paranoid. Things are "being stolen" (for example someone has stolen a packet of biscuits from his car and re locked it) and people are "talking behind my back." He sees ghosts. He gets lost and confused at night, once sleeping naked in the dog basket (commenting 'I'll sleep anywhere). Memory clinic discharged him saying he'd had two TIAs but no sign of dementia. Things are quickly getting worse. In my eyes he is an alcoholic. He is dirty, scruffy and his language is embarrassing. He used to be so proud and smart. I'm getting no help from GP despite hammering their door down. What else can I do? I'm losing my lovely dad xx
 

fizzie

Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
2,730
Goodness me you are having awful problems and so is he, I'm so sorry.

I'm a bit confused - is he drinking excessively?
The symptoms you describe sound similar to dementia and TIAs are a part of vascular dementia. You are going to have to go back to your GP practice i think - perhaps if you don't have any faith in the GP ask to see the nurse first.

Whatever the problem you need help and you need a diagnosis and quickly.
Others will be along soon with their views and support xx
 

picnic

Registered User
Jan 1, 2016
4
Manchester
Thank you sweet. Yes he drinks A LOT and has done for as long as I can remember. He hides bottles of whiskey around the house. More recently he's taken to eating his meals in the car on the driveway, so that the dog can't watch him xxx
 

notsogooddtr

Registered User
Jul 2, 2011
935
Hello everyone who has offered me advice about my mother which I have really appreciated.

My mother and my brother have both told me separately that mum just wants to be left alone, that she does want any involvement from the doctors, any hospital appointments or investigations. Mum is 90 and is aware (for the first time) that she has memory problems but put's them down to age. She tells me that she will decide when or if she will ask for help and will know when the time is right. Until then, she says that she will be careful, she is eating properly and that her house is tidy.

Mum is considering changing her GP but she has now taken a dislike to him and she does not trust the rest of the practice and will now look elsewhere.

I have spoken to local services (dementia services, age uK) and they all advise me that there is nothing that they can do if mum does not to go for tests or allow people into her house.

I can't fight both my brother and my mum, so I will let this go and I going get on with my life.

So it's goodbye from me for now (but I am sure I will be back for further advice in the future!).

Thank you again for all your kind thoughts, help and advice, I am truly grateful.

Kind regards

Mrs C
It's all you can do,watch and wait
 

fizzie

Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
2,730
Thank you sweet. Yes he drinks A LOT and has done for as long as I can remember. He hides bottles of whiskey around the house. More recently he's taken to eating his meals in the car on the driveway, so that the dog can't watch him xxx
Oh dear - the link Cat sent is really helpful but it does mean you need help from the GP for a referral - can you get to see another GP in the practice - sometimes that works or you might just have to see the practice manager and say that your Dad needs urgent help and you'll report them to the Care Quality Commission if they don't give you/him some guidance and a referral
 

fizzie

Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
2,730
I would probably print out and take the leaflet along to the GP with me too, in case he is unaware!