I'm cheesed off today because I've just got back from my mum's where I found she'd received a 'Needs Profile' following a visit from Social Services last week.
The reason I'd rung and asked them to come was because my mum isn't eating properly. She's always been small and slim and her usual weight is 7 1/2 stone. She's now under 7 stone and I'm worried about her. I know she's not shopping/preparing/cooking/eating properly and I wanted to see if they had any suggestions. The man who came was really nice and we got on well. The thing is my mum comes across as very capable and, like many AD patients I guess, gives an impression that she's coping really well thank you and doesn't need any help. Whereas the reality is that she's skipping meals, or preparing something and can't face it, or eating just a piece of fish and some peas and no potatoes. And whilst the portion size would delight my Weight Watchers leader, they are not enough for someone trying to put on weight. The SS man suggested Mobile Meals and both my mum and I thought that they would be a good idea a couple of times a week as she'd be more likely to eat it all when she hasn't prepared it, and I'd know she's getting a better balanced meal. I'm quite prepared to fill in any gaps myself, taking food round (although I've been doing that for a while and I know they are not always eaten!)or taking her out to eat.
So, with all that in mind, I was really upset to find that SS are not going to provide the meals because "Mrs P does not meet the eligibility criteria as she does not have a difficulty in preparing hot meals". It's as if they've only taken in account what she said herself (I'm capable etc etc) and ignored my input altogether.
I'm assuming that I can appeal against this decision but don't know if it will get me anywhere.
Sorry to go on about it but I've had a right morning with all this. On the same visit I found she'd taken out travel insurance but didn't tell them about the AD (she said "they don't really need to know do they?"!); in addition she'd arranged an appointment with a company to supply her with a hearing aid (she already has one on order from the NHS and it's being fitted next week); plus various other things that reared their heads when I openend the post. It's all very well having an EPA and dealing with mum's affairs but she keeps undoing all the work I've done setting up direct debits etc, and keeps making all these other arrangments. I seem to spend half my life cancelling appointments/contracts etc. When I tell her that I am taking care of everything now she says the same thing every time "Amanda, you have to understand that I'm used to doing everything myself". I sometimes think I'll scream if she says it again and I have to bite my tongue because I know it's not her fault. I want to put up posters round the house "Don't do anything without asking Amanda first". I know it's important for her to feel independent and in control for as long as she can, and I make sure that I let her make as many decisions for herself as possible so it's really frustrating when she 'takes over' and it ends up with me having to bail her out.
Thanks for listening (if anybody did!) and sorry for the rant.
The reason I'd rung and asked them to come was because my mum isn't eating properly. She's always been small and slim and her usual weight is 7 1/2 stone. She's now under 7 stone and I'm worried about her. I know she's not shopping/preparing/cooking/eating properly and I wanted to see if they had any suggestions. The man who came was really nice and we got on well. The thing is my mum comes across as very capable and, like many AD patients I guess, gives an impression that she's coping really well thank you and doesn't need any help. Whereas the reality is that she's skipping meals, or preparing something and can't face it, or eating just a piece of fish and some peas and no potatoes. And whilst the portion size would delight my Weight Watchers leader, they are not enough for someone trying to put on weight. The SS man suggested Mobile Meals and both my mum and I thought that they would be a good idea a couple of times a week as she'd be more likely to eat it all when she hasn't prepared it, and I'd know she's getting a better balanced meal. I'm quite prepared to fill in any gaps myself, taking food round (although I've been doing that for a while and I know they are not always eaten!)or taking her out to eat.
So, with all that in mind, I was really upset to find that SS are not going to provide the meals because "Mrs P does not meet the eligibility criteria as she does not have a difficulty in preparing hot meals". It's as if they've only taken in account what she said herself (I'm capable etc etc) and ignored my input altogether.
I'm assuming that I can appeal against this decision but don't know if it will get me anywhere.
Sorry to go on about it but I've had a right morning with all this. On the same visit I found she'd taken out travel insurance but didn't tell them about the AD (she said "they don't really need to know do they?"!); in addition she'd arranged an appointment with a company to supply her with a hearing aid (she already has one on order from the NHS and it's being fitted next week); plus various other things that reared their heads when I openend the post. It's all very well having an EPA and dealing with mum's affairs but she keeps undoing all the work I've done setting up direct debits etc, and keeps making all these other arrangments. I seem to spend half my life cancelling appointments/contracts etc. When I tell her that I am taking care of everything now she says the same thing every time "Amanda, you have to understand that I'm used to doing everything myself". I sometimes think I'll scream if she says it again and I have to bite my tongue because I know it's not her fault. I want to put up posters round the house "Don't do anything without asking Amanda first". I know it's important for her to feel independent and in control for as long as she can, and I make sure that I let her make as many decisions for herself as possible so it's really frustrating when she 'takes over' and it ends up with me having to bail her out.
Thanks for listening (if anybody did!) and sorry for the rant.
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