1. bel

    bel Registered User

    Apr 26, 2006
    after being despertae months ago
    i asked for help
    not like me to kick up a fuss
    i only mentioned it to consultant he said it was not fair how we were treated he would put in a complaint
    since then

    no social worker no support worker nothing
    visiting phscoogist is great she comes every 2 -3 weeks
    she and the nurse that brings bobs medication now know we are not being looked after as we should
    but it should not be up to me to chase it through
    and i feel i have not got the strengh to do it
    love bel x
  2. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    near London
    Hello Bel

    unfortunately, all too often we have to do this. They seem to work on the basis that if you don't make an ungodly fuss and rant all the time then things can't be that bad. Trouble is that often other people do make that fuss when it really isn't that bad, and then get the resources.

    we shouldn't really have to act as project managers for our own medical needs - I thought we paid professionals to do that.
    We all feel like this when faced with a wall of.. nothing.. From your posts, I think you do have the strength.

    It might be worth trying the consultant again.

    best wishes
  3. jackie1

    jackie1 Registered User

    Jun 6, 2007
    Hi Bel,

    I'm afraid from my experience that unless you get on the phone to the social worker etc and tell them you are at break point nothing will happen.

    You are just left to get on with it until you actively seek help and then keep pushing if what you are offered isn't sufficient.

    Good luck and try to stay positive - I know that's not so easy to do.

  4. bel

    bel Registered User

    Apr 26, 2006
    thanks brucie -jackie
    i think both of them have taken the huff
    from consultant putting in a complaint
    social worker passed us in the street weeks ago i said to bob did you see who that was who-- social worker he said i thought i knew the face i gave eye contact and was ready to say hello but she walked on by
    support worker took bob art lessons a few times she seemed nice to start with full of infusiastion she always wanted to draw - paint we will have fun bob
    bob said and i beleive him she sat through the first few lessons with her own materials more concerned with learning for her
    she sent him home on the bus i mean 2 buses after a few weeks she thought he is ok --sorry no i told nurse about this she said its not right i feel like they are cowards love bel x
  5. bel

    bel Registered User

    Apr 26, 2006
    i am by nature very soft
    but these last 3 years i have had to get stronger
    but to put it crudley
    if i speak to consultant again and ask whats going on
    i dont feel like i can see and talk to social worker and suport worker with out feeling guilty about moaning
    they are obviosly upset and i feel guilty
    how stupid is that i need to get stronger
    thanks a lot
  6. hendy

    hendy Registered User

    Feb 20, 2008
    West Yorkshire
    I fully sympathise wih your position. You want the best for your loved one and faced with problems you have to choose your battles carefully. It is sadly true that the loudest complaints get the most action. As carers we have little left in reserve to take on the social workers, consultants etc when we feel we need to. But be guided by your own best judgement - if something's not right make yourself heard and don't feel guilty. The 'professionals' should understand that you are only wanting what is best for your loved one. It should make a difference to their 'quality of life' - that's the bottom line. No one understands that better than you
    with kind regards
  7. BeverleyY

    BeverleyY Registered User

    Jan 29, 2008
    Ashford, Kent
    Sadly, Dad's Care Manager from SS become very disinterested after Mum died.

    Before, she was interested in sorting a care package etc.. and helping them get funding, but when Mum died, it meant all their money became Dad's and put him over the threshold for financial support from SS.

    Now, she simply doesn't seem interested at all.

    Beverley x
  8. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
  9. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    #9 Skye, Feb 23, 2008
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2008
    That doesn't seem right, Beverley.

    Even if your dad's over the limit, SW should still help with finding support services, day care, etc.

    Have you tried Princess Royal Trust for Carers? I've found them excellent for putting pressure on SS, and also support for me.

    Bel, they might also be able to help you, if you haven't already tried them. I always found it helpful to have an organisation like that behind me.


    ROSEANN Registered User

    Oct 1, 2006
    Dear Bel
    I echo what Hazel has said.
    I had not heard from my SW for eight months until the man who runs our local support group heard me telling another carer about them and she was having the same trouble.
    He asked us the details and said leave it with me amd within two days both of us had phone calls from our SW .
    So what I am saying is ring yor local groups or organisations and see who can help, it`s worth a try
    Good luck Roseann
  11. BeverleyY

    BeverleyY Registered User

    Jan 29, 2008
    Ashford, Kent
    Well, she said she would, but failed to find any homes that do Day Care. All she could offer me was 10 - 2 at the SS run centre - the other days all have waiting lists (Dad hated it anyway, he said they were all 'crazy'. They just were mis-matched stagewise in their illness (it was the mental health day). So, I think in all honestly, really not great for Dad because there just was no conversation to be had by most of the others and Dad still needs to have people to talk with.

    Other than that, she was amazed that I found day care at other places - she had no idea the one I found did day care, and another that she said did do it, didn't. All in all, she's pretty useless and I haven't heard anything from her in the past 3 weeks after I told her it was apparent that there was nothing she could do for me now anyway other than give me a list of care agencies (which I found myself anyway).

    Beverley x

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