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No Help At All

bel

Registered User
Apr 26, 2006
757
coventry
after being despertae months ago
i asked for help
not like me to kick up a fuss
i only mentioned it to consultant he said it was not fair how we were treated he would put in a complaint
since then

no social worker no support worker nothing
visiting phscoogist is great she comes every 2 -3 weeks
she and the nurse that brings bobs medication now know we are not being looked after as we should
but it should not be up to me to chase it through
and i feel i have not got the strengh to do it
love bel x
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
Hello Bel

but it should not be up to me to chase it through
unfortunately, all too often we have to do this. They seem to work on the basis that if you don't make an ungodly fuss and rant all the time then things can't be that bad. Trouble is that often other people do make that fuss when it really isn't that bad, and then get the resources.

we shouldn't really have to act as project managers for our own medical needs - I thought we paid professionals to do that.
and i feel i have not got the strengh to do it
We all feel like this when faced with a wall of.. nothing.. From your posts, I think you do have the strength.

It might be worth trying the consultant again.

best wishes
 

jackie1

Registered User
Jun 6, 2007
238
Cheshire
Hi Bel,

I'm afraid from my experience that unless you get on the phone to the social worker etc and tell them you are at break point nothing will happen.

You are just left to get on with it until you actively seek help and then keep pushing if what you are offered isn't sufficient.

Good luck and try to stay positive - I know that's not so easy to do.

Jackie
 

bel

Registered User
Apr 26, 2006
757
coventry
thanks brucie -jackie
i think both of them have taken the huff
from consultant putting in a complaint
social worker passed us in the street weeks ago i said to bob did you see who that was who-- social worker he said i thought i knew the face i gave eye contact and was ready to say hello but she walked on by
support worker took bob art lessons a few times she seemed nice to start with full of infusiastion she always wanted to draw - paint we will have fun bob
bob said and i beleive him she sat through the first few lessons with her own materials more concerned with learning for her
she sent him home on the bus i mean 2 buses after a few weeks she thought he is ok --sorry no i told nurse about this she said its not right i feel like they are cowards love bel x
 

bel

Registered User
Apr 26, 2006
757
coventry
i am by nature very soft
but these last 3 years i have had to get stronger
but to put it crudley
if i speak to consultant again and ask whats going on
i dont feel like i can see and talk to social worker and suport worker with out feeling guilty about moaning
they are obviosly upset and i feel guilty
how stupid is that i need to get stronger
thanks a lot
belx
 

hendy

Registered User
Feb 20, 2008
506
West Yorkshire
Bel
I fully sympathise wih your position. You want the best for your loved one and faced with problems you have to choose your battles carefully. It is sadly true that the loudest complaints get the most action. As carers we have little left in reserve to take on the social workers, consultants etc when we feel we need to. But be guided by your own best judgement - if something's not right make yourself heard and don't feel guilty. The 'professionals' should understand that you are only wanting what is best for your loved one. It should make a difference to their 'quality of life' - that's the bottom line. No one understands that better than you
with kind regards
hendy
 

BeverleyY

Registered User
Jan 29, 2008
716
Ashford, Kent
Sadly, Dad's Care Manager from SS become very disinterested after Mum died.

Before, she was interested in sorting a care package etc.. and helping them get funding, but when Mum died, it meant all their money became Dad's and put him over the threshold for financial support from SS.

Now, she simply doesn't seem interested at all.

Beverley x
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
That doesn't seem right, Beverley.

Even if your dad's over the limit, SW should still help with finding support services, day care, etc.

Have you tried Princess Royal Trust for Carers? I've found them excellent for putting pressure on SS, and also support for me.

Bel, they might also be able to help you, if you haven't already tried them. I always found it helpful to have an organisation like that behind me.

Love,
 
Last edited:

ROSEANN

Registered User
Oct 1, 2006
909
72
staffordshire
Dear Bel
I echo what Hazel has said.
I had not heard from my SW for eight months until the man who runs our local support group heard me telling another carer about them and she was having the same trouble.
He asked us the details and said leave it with me amd within two days both of us had phone calls from our SW .
So what I am saying is ring yor local groups or organisations and see who can help, it`s worth a try
Good luck Roseann
 

BeverleyY

Registered User
Jan 29, 2008
716
Ashford, Kent
That doesn't seem right, Beverley.

Even if your dad's over the limit, SW should still help with finding support services, day care, etc.

Have you tried Princess Royal Trust for Carers? I've found them excellent for putting pressure on SS, and also support for me.

Bel, they might also be able to help you, if you haven't already tried them. I always found it helpful to have an organisation like that behind me.

Love,
Well, she said she would, but failed to find any homes that do Day Care. All she could offer me was 10 - 2 at the SS run centre - the other days all have waiting lists (Dad hated it anyway, he said they were all 'crazy'. They just were mis-matched stagewise in their illness (it was the mental health day). So, I think in all honestly, really not great for Dad because there just was no conversation to be had by most of the others and Dad still needs to have people to talk with.

Other than that, she was amazed that I found day care at other places - she had no idea the one I found did day care, and another that she said did do it, didn't. All in all, she's pretty useless and I haven't heard anything from her in the past 3 weeks after I told her it was apparent that there was nothing she could do for me now anyway other than give me a list of care agencies (which I found myself anyway).

Beverley x