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Registered User
Jan 27, 2021
My mum has dementia, and has had phases of paranoia where she’s shouting and thinking we are plotting against her. Then other times she hardly talks. The thing is i live with my dad as well as my mum, I have anxiety and depression, my dad has been struggling to come to terms with her condition and is not sleeping well. The point is we are barely speaking to each other, as in conversation. I find it very difficult to initiate conversation, with my depression, I try but neither engage. I worry about her just sitting there reading the paper. The lockdown has made it impossible to actually “talk” to people. I feel guilty like I’m not doing enough. Also because of my depression I feel guilty for thinking of myself. I’m there when she needs me. I’m just feeling really isolated. I’m sorry for the long post and be selfish. Just needed to get some opinion. Or advice. Thanks


Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
Goodness you are not at all selfish @Calliope74

I wondered if you've been able to have a chat with your GP about the way your have been feeling lately. It might be possible to be referred for counselling - even if it's online and not actually face to face. Just a thought.

I hope sharing your feelings here will help a little.


Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
hi @Calliope74
we tend to want to 'do something' to make things better for the person we care for .... sadly, there's often little we can actively do ... sometimes simply allowing your mum to be settled is the best for her, and if that's leaving her to read her newspaper, that's fine
as you say, you are there when she needs you, and the same for your dad, that's a great deal, don't dismiss how much that matters

might you look into having some home care visits for your mum, to take some of the strain from your dad and yourself ... contact the Local Authority Adult Services and arrange an assessment of her care needs

I don't know whether this site is of any help to you
CCI - Self Help Resources for Mental Health Problems