1. Our next Q&A session is on the topic of Christmas and dementia.This time we want our Q&A to involve our resident experts, you! Share tips and advice on navigating Christmas here in this thread.

    Pop by and post your questions or if you prefer you can email your question to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.
  1. LonleyC

    LonleyC New member

    Sep 11, 2019
    3
    My husband has vascular dementia.
    He doent show emotion.
    My mum passed away in June, which had left me devastated
    When I get upset and cry he just sits there. He doesn't do anything, offers me no comfort at all.
    I am grieving and are the loneliest I have ever felt.
     
  2. charlie10

    charlie10 Registered User

    Dec 20, 2018
    376
    @Lonley......I don't care in practical terms for a pwd, so I can't offer any help there, but I did want to say how much I understand your grief for your mum. My mum died 18 years ago,after a couple of days' illness, and I still miss her every day. I was so busy looking after my dad and my young children who were devastated, that no-one really acknowledged how I must have been feeling. I and all the other lovely people on this forum, know what it's like to lose someone dear to you, and we all feel for you, and send our sympathy. I hope that you will feel a little less lonely now you've joined the forum....you will get lots of help and support here. Take care x
     
  3. Mojosho

    Mojosho Registered User

    Sep 13, 2019
    31
    My husband has vascular Dementia and I lost my mum recently. It's 7 a.m. and I'm grateful for usthe time alone because I can have a conversation with my tablet! How sad is that? So I know how you feel. Last night between 4 and 8 my husband said nothing. He is like an empty shell. If any one comes I talk non stop and I used to be a good listener. I open my mouth to say something then just shut it again because I know there will be little response. He has yes days and no days. So one day he says yes to everything and the next no to everything. I try to see a funny side but can't anymore. So it's mere survival now. Just taking each day as it comes. He has been getting up very early last three days or maybe was up all night but today I'm grateful for this little bit of quiet time on my own. I hope your day brings you a little comfort.
     
  4. LonleyC

    LonleyC New member

    Sep 11, 2019
    3
     
  5. LonleyC

    LonleyC New member

    Sep 11, 2019
    3
    Thanks, I know I'm not the only one with this problem. I have no children or siblings to be there for me so talking on here helps.
    I don't want counseling for my grief, talking out loud to a stranger only makes it worse for me. Thanks for listening.
     
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,884
    Kent
    I`ve always thought this too so I`m glad it helps to off load here.

    I think living with dementia can be one of the loneliest ways of life of all. Even those who have support from family and friends still, as primary carers, suffer feelings of isolation and Dementia Talking Point has helped bridge the gap for many of us.

    Is there any chance you could join a support group @LonleyC. I joined one even though my husband refused to go with me and it was helpful to talk to others in similar circumstances.

    If you would consider it, you can find out what`s available for you through this link.

    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/your-support-services
     
  7. Philbo

    Philbo Registered User

    Feb 28, 2017
    717
    Male
    Kent
    Hi @LonleyC

    I agree with @Grannie G that attending support groups (with or without your husband) can be very beneficial. It certainly helped me in the early years of caring for my wife.

    I can sympathise with you, as my wife's communication abilities were affected very early on, so over these last 6 years, I have found myself becoming more and more "alone". Daft of course, as she's been here with me all that time but I missed having someone that I could share things with.

    Sadly, things have changed recently, as she has now moved into residential care in a nursing home. Its only been 3 weeks tomorrow, so it's all a bit raw and I have visited every day but it has been difficult getting used to going home to an empty house.:(

    Fortunately, she seems to have settled in well and is receiving good care. At the start of our journey (early 2014), I made a concerted effort to build a social life for us both (her long standing anxiety and depression issues meant we didn't previously socialise much). We became regulars at a local pub and made some great friends there. This helped her a lot plus gave me the opportunity to escape the loneliness. It is certainly what has kept me going, now so more than ever.

    I'm so glad you have found Talking Point - the lovely folk on here will support you all the way.

    Kind regards
    Phil
     
  8. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,960
    the lack of empathy can cripple you emotionally; that I do understand. I lost my biological mum over a year ago & nada....

    double whammy !
    You aren’t alone in this pain
    (((((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))))))
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.