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No back up plan?

Lainey 127

Registered User
Nov 25, 2012
Liverpool UK
My sister and I are caring for Mum at home. For eighteen months now we've been working in 24 hour day/night shifts. I'm just wondering, those of you who are caring for loved ones at home, what happens when you're ill? So far my sister and I have been lucky but it's only a matter of time before one of us falls ill. We'd need extra help - fast! Mum's too much for one of us to care for her on our own. Who do you call when you need help in a hurry and what usually happens?
Thanks all!


Registered User
Jan 19, 2011
North East England
Hi Lainey - This is something I worry about, too, on behalf of my dad who is mam's carer. If he was ill I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to look after my mam and would need to place her into emergency respite.

Things have changed a little for us now, but initially what I did was to email social services adult section and explain the situation. I was then given a telephone number of the duty social worker team (can't remember their proper title) so that I had a way of contacting them 24 hours a day if there was an emergency. They would then arrange things.

This might be useful for you to do.

However, I'm a little concerned at the level of care you and your sister are providing together, which is wonderful, but perhaps you could both do with some general help and respite from caring? Social services is still the place to go, to request both an assessment of your mum's needs, and an assessment of your and your sister's needs, as her carers, too. I'm fairly certain that you will all be entitled to this assessment.

I could say more but don't want to inflict information overload! Do keep posting, and others more knowlegeable than me will be along shortly with more advice and support, too.


Registered User
Nov 10, 2013
When my dear Dad was a live and I was his main carer( he did have carers once a day) I was given so many weeks a year for respite care, I could choose for him to have extra care at home or go into respite. This was used for when I went on holiday. We did have to pay for this but it was easily arranged. Regarding if I was poorly or taken ill suddenly I carried a card that gave a number so that care could be arranged urgently, I can't remember what the service was called this was in South Gloucestershire. You should contact your local adult care services. Hope this is of some help x

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Registered User
Feb 3, 2013
West Yorkshire
Hi I am ill at the moment, Carer burnout. I am coming up to 3 years of caring for Dad, I find I go for a few weeks then get ill. I have no help from any other carer but I do not live with Dad I go over daily 20 mile round trip.

Now Dad is alone as I am too ill to go. I have been laid up since last Thursday and I dread to think what he has been up to, luckily I had done his shopping so I ring and tell him how to microwave the meals.

In the past he refused carers and meals on wheels so what can you do? Social services have closed the case on two occasions when I have asked for help. Nightmare.

If your Mum is willing you may get help if she is not you may end up in my situation.


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