As days go, today was not a good one. It began with juggling umpteen things * Get son to train station * Get daughter to hospital for physiotherapy appt * Go home, make sure hubby is showered, dressed and has had something to eat before he heads off to his Monday group for people with early onset dementia * Rush out, go to local travel firm to book some day trips my husband can enjoy over the next few weeks. * Rush back home - then go and pick up daughter from hospital Small respite to grab a cup of tea and have a quick chat with daughter and mention I need to chase up arrangements to organise a volunteer driver for husband to make his travel to his Monday group easier. Oh how prophetic those words were! * Phone rings - large supermarket near where husband's group meets (two minute's walk away from the group, if that) rings to say my husband is with them and lost. I explain he has dementia and that I'll contact someone at the centre to walk around the corner to get him * The lady on phone says he should have card on him with telephone number. I say he has a dementia card in his wallet - they say they couldn't see it. Meanwhile I am impressed that he has remembered what his home number is. * Make phone call to the group leader and she says she'll go and get hubby. Shortly afterwards she phones back and says all is ok. He'd stopped to help a lady who had fallen - then got confused about which direction to go so went into the superstore to ask for help (well done that man I think to myself, he followed the strategy I had given him should he ever be lost - go into a shop and ask for help!) * Group Leader says hubby must have card on him with contact details. I say he has.but she sounds unconvinced. * Group Leader says she is worried about his travelling. I say two drivers from our town are in the process of being vetted and will be available from 30 March. I say that to make sure there are no more travel issues I will not send him to the next group on 16 March - and will wait until a driver is allocated on 30 March. This seems to appease situation * Group Leader rings back shortly afterwards and says hubby's condition has gone downhill since he first started attending last year and the group may no longer be suitable for him! She says we can go to another group nearer to us - but I have to accompany him all the time and stay there! I am on the verge of exploding by now * Yes my husband's condition has deteriorated since last year but he is still very capable in many things and doesn't need someone by his side at all time. * Yes, he is becoming more confused about directions but I don't see why he should be forced out of a group he enjoys because of this - especially as I already have arrangements in place to address that. I point out that he is very active in the group (she agrees), that he participates in all the activities (she agrees) that he socialises well (she agrees), that he enjoys his meal there and feeds himself without any problem (she agrees), he has no incontinence issues (she agrees) - that he loves being there and he understands what he is expected to do (she agrees) - that he doesn't sit on the side just watching or asking to go home (she agrees). That he is helpful and always willing to assist if necessary (she agrees). As she agrees with all the above and the only real worry is the travelling, I say yet again that there is no reason for him to leave the group. To move him to a group where I have to be by his side all the time would * deprive him of his independence and enjoyment for no reason. * lead to me having no time to do the things I need to do such as visits to the GP and hospital for my own health issues * be impossible for me to do anyway, as I have to work (or the mortgage doesn't get paid - such is one of the obstacles when someone of younger age (and still of working age) gets dementia The Group Leader agrees to leave things as they are and see how the volunteer driver situation works out I end the call in a hurry - by now it's time for me to head off to the nurse for a booked blood pressure check - unsurprisingly it turned out to be extremely high. The nurse took my blood pressure several times, making me change position, breathe slowly, relax in the chair. Nothing worked - it remained extremely high. I explained I'd had a stressful morning entailing a missing husband and stressful telephone conversations. As as result I must now go back again in two days to have it checked again! The session took much longer than I planned. I now had to rush to the pharmacy to get my medication. Next I rush to the bus stop and stand in the freezing cold, waiting for my husband's bus to arrive. It arrives and he gets off, happy as can be - totally unaware of how close he has come to losing his place at his favourite group - all because he stopped and helped a lady who had fallen and got distracted from where he was heading. He hands me a card - it is another dementia card for me to fill in for him. I look in his wallet - the dementia card, complete with all my contact details is in it, just like I said! I can't be bothered to argue any more - the group leader obviously hadn't taken me at my word and I am not sure if she even bothered to check. The wind is biting cold so I lead my husband back to the car and we head home for a cuppa and a warm-up. He has great delight telling me of his good deed to help a lady who had fallen. He knows he got lost shortly afterwards but is happy he remembered our telephone number and that he remembered to seek help in a safe shop. Tomorrow I am back to work - I need it for the rest! I'm still worried that hubby will lose his place at his favourite group - but glad they'll at least give a chance for the travel plan to kick in first.