Yesterday my siblings and I got together to look at care homes for my dad as he is currently in assessment and we need to find him a home. It was such a tiring and emotional day and I've been left with so many worries about it all and at the end of it all we still didn't find a home and ended up squabbling amongst ourselves something we really shouldn't do at this time. I wonder if anyone can answer a few questions 1) What is 'locked door' policy as dad's social worker said to look out for this as a plus but all the homes we visited locked their front door as expected. Could she mean locking the doors of individual rooms as one of the best homes did this to prevent people walking into the wrong rooms and they opened them for the residents as and when they wanted to go into their rooms. I found this a bit odd and imagined dad waiting for ages to get into his room. Is this a recommended procedure? 2) Should alarm bells be ringing is straight after lunch ALL the residents in another home were sitting around the outside of a lounge watching TV or sleeping and no-one was walking around or even in the garden on a sunny day? We liked this home but when my brother returned at 7 again no-one was around and he was told that everyone had gone to their rooms(17 people)and the TV in the lounge was off and the 'visitors lounge' had the door closed. This made us think that there was a regime here but could we be worrying too much? This is all such a minefield and pressure is mounting on us to move dad but although he has been in assessment for 4 weeks as we were told he was in respite for 2 and then only attended an assessment meeting last week weve only been researching for just the past week. Its all happened so quickly and none of us live close to each other or to mum and dad so how does anyone sort this out???? I'm sorry to ramble but my dad doesn't deserve this and if my mum didn't have dementia he would be at home with her and not going into a home yet so we need to fine the right one. I'm just so confused right now. Grateful for any replies.