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nightmare and joy on Father's Day

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Áine, Jun 18, 2006.

  1. Áine

    Áine Registered User

    Arrived at the nh this afternoon to see dad for father's day. We've got plans for day trips with him next sunday and the one after, so today just planned to pop to see him and then go with my cousin to do some more of the endless task of clearing out his house. He was happy and a bit tearful about his card, but then started really sobbing like I never seen before. Talking about a man buying his house and he loves his house and he wants to go back to it. He also seems to think the same man is going to marry my mother (like she comes with the house) though actually she's been dead nearly 10 years. He was just crying and crying. That felt awful in itself but even worse because I know that i AM in the process of selling it - though I've not told dad that. He's very deaf and has broken/lost his hearing aids and can't understand, so no way of comforting him.

    We scrapped the plans for house clearing, borrowed a wheelchair from the nh (first time we've used wheelchair) and took him to the botanical gardens. Desperate to do something to make him happy. My wonderful cousin suggested we get ice creams and asked him if he'd like one. I never seen a face light up so much :) or enjoy an ice cream so much in all my life. That ice cream cornet was worth its weight in gold. We went off round the gardens, him enjoying his ride in the chair, enjoying being able to get around a bit for once. Chattering about when he used to take me to the gardens when I was a kid.

    Got him back in time for tea. He much happier, said thank you for giving him his life back. Relieved to see him happy again, but god this hurts :(
     
  2. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    15,979
    Toronto, Canada
    I'm glad your dad had a good day n the end. I know how you must feel, going through the house, clearing things out etc. He's not aware of it, you know, just probably it's a fear for him.

    This will be a happy memory for you one day.
     
  3. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Áine,
    Well done you did just the right thing - and I bet you had more fun too than clearing the house - there will be another day to do that. What can I say, but agree, yes it does hurt but think what a good time you shared this afternoon.
    Sending a <<hug.>>
    Love Helen
     
  4. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    Hi Áine
    It turned out to be a lovely father's day for your dad so well done!:)
    I think you feel guilty because it doesn't seem quite "right" does it? To be going through his things,selling his house ....all the things you wouldn't expect to be doing while your dad's still living.....I really empathise with that......I feel exactly the same about mum's house....we had an offer on it which we accepted last week.....but,at the end of the day it's all been done without her knowledge and it feels awful
    But at the end of the day it has to be done and we're just doing these things because your dad and my mum can no longer take such major decisions and we have to act in their best interests......
    Hold onto your lovely memories from today and take heart there will be many more good times ahead!:)
    Love
    Wendy
    x
     
  5. pammy14

    pammy14 Registered User

    Dec 5, 2005
    103
    leicestershire
    Hi Mel

    Feel just the same about my sisters house. We have had to clear it all out to sell and Friday is the day of completion. Had to do the signing at the weekend. I know just how you feel, I feel awful as well especially when she asks when we are taking her home. And now there is no home I feel really guilty but we know it was for the best as she would never be able to go back and you can't leave a house to deterio ate and get overgrown. It was very sad On Sat going for the last time as it was also where my mum lived till she died lots of happy memories.
     

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