Night time wanderings in the house

CherryTT4

Registered User
Dec 5, 2019
76
0
Wiltshire
Its amazing how things change , one minute its one thing and then its something else. You just get use to how to handle something and then its all change. My husband wanders at night and i dont always hear him. He wrecks his room, clothes all over the place , clean and dirty. Things are put in wong place , some are hidden. He cannot get out of the house . However there is a safety element as i have no idea what he will do. My home is no longer my home. Does anyone else have any experience of this sort of thing. Some nights i am getting very little sleep. Should i think about asking the doctor for some mild sedative for him? On a more positive note i am now sending him to a day centre two days a week. I am surprised how easy it was to get him to go. He is collected and returned , for which i do pay extra but is worth it. To have 6 hours of freedom is amazing. I ask him about his day but he never remembers. We really do need more support from the government. Is there any sort of lobby group we could join? Big hug to all xx
 

Bettysue

Registered User
Mar 21, 2020
204
0
My partner went through phases of this type of behaviour. The doctor prescribed a sedative but I was never convinced it worked. As he became more unsteady it became a concern that he would fall downstairs. One night I could see that he had climbed onto the kitchen worktops and brought down a couple of ornaments from the top of the cupboards. I had to get an isolator tap on the gas as he often lit the hob and put objects on the gas rings.
 

MalcW

Registered User
Jul 3, 2020
27
0
I had a problem with my wife sleepwalking and getting out of the house. For the first years of her diagnosis we lived in an equine property and kept horses. I eventually realised that, in her sleep, she was carrying out tasks I had mentioned before we went to bed. For instance, one early morning I found her out in the paddocks digging ragwort. Totally naked. I tried locking doors and putting things out of her reach, but found this just resulted in her doing something dangerous like climbing out of the windows. I found a shop bell on the bedroom door woke me quick enough to rescue her before she got too far. I also guarded against making any suggestions before bed.
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,449
0
Scotland
I once started a list of all Johns phases which lasted a variety of days weeks and months. As soon as I had got on top of one phase he would be onto another. I never did finish that list because it was never ending. Even now two years after his death I will suddenly remember some bizarre thing that drove me crazy before being replaced by another bizarre thing. As we all know you have to experience this to understand it.
 

CherryTT4

Registered User
Dec 5, 2019
76
0
Wiltshire
Some times we cope and some times we scream. Tonight I scream. Woken at 12.30 .Thought I managed to calm him and get him back to bed. However woken up by him at 2.30 asking if I knew where I was! Its now 4 and no signs of him going to bed. I knew it was going to be a bad night - he felt unwell on Sunday morning and went back to be at 10.30 and got up a 1 - so there was not much hope a full nights sleep - especially as he went back to bed at 10. I have had water coming through the ceiling in the kitchen for nearly 2 weeks - waiting for the results of an asbestos check. So there are safety issue in the kitchen. This is all making life more difficult than normal. Monday he goes to a day centre but at this rate - with him having no sleep - I am not sure it will be possible. So no break for me. My level of hate is through the roof. I just want some sleep. I just find it extremely difficult to deal with his selfishness - the lack of thought for others and inability to reason with him. I know this is really obvious but that does not help. So I give up just sit here and do nothing. Wait wait wait. It will all send me mad or give me a heart attack. My heart is already broken in millions of pieces that will never ever be mended. I am humpty dumpty and I fell off a wall. Rant over - sorry - hug and kisses to all.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
I am sorry. The lack of reasoning, the loss of the ability to see anything from anyone elses viewpoint and the inability to understand others feelings - or even that they have feelings - makes looking after someone with dementia uniquely hard.

Once their body clock is broken and they are up all night it becomes unsustainable and I think you have reached carers breakdown.
Please please contact Social Services today and tell them that you cannot go on and need emergency respite. Say that he is a "vulnerable person at risk" and you can no longer meet his needs. Please also let your GP know what is happening.

You cant go on like this. The statistics for carers who have indeed had heart attacks, strokes etc and died is frightening.
 

lollyc

Registered User
Sep 9, 2020
947
0
Some times we cope and some times we scream. Tonight I scream. Woken at 12.30 .Thought I managed to calm him and get him back to bed. However woken up by him at 2.30 asking if I knew where I was! Its now 4 and no signs of him going to bed. I knew it was going to be a bad night - he felt unwell on Sunday morning and went back to be at 10.30 and got up a 1 - so there was not much hope a full nights sleep - especially as he went back to bed at 10. I have had water coming through the ceiling in the kitchen for nearly 2 weeks - waiting for the results of an asbestos check. So there are safety issue in the kitchen. This is all making life more difficult than normal. Monday he goes to a day centre but at this rate - with him having no sleep - I am not sure it will be possible. So no break for me. My level of hate is through the roof. I just want some sleep. I just find it extremely difficult to deal with his selfishness - the lack of thought for others and inability to reason with him. I know this is really obvious but that does not help. So I give up just sit here and do nothing. Wait wait wait. It will all send me mad or give me a heart attack. My heart is already broken in millions of pieces that will never ever be mended. I am humpty dumpty and I fell off a wall. Rant over - sorry - hug and kisses to all.
I think it is worth speaking to his GP about some sort of sleeping medication for him. I have been where you are - got the T-shirt - and you simply can't function for any length of time with so little, broken, sleep.
GP will say there is a falls risk. I said there was a falls risk as Mum was up and down 6 or 7 times a night (in the dark, and poor mobility), so rock and a hard place. GP did agree, and after some trial and error we got back into some sort of normal rythmn. She took Mirtazipine, Quetiapine and also, when required, Lorazepam.
I probably sound like a terrible carer, drugging my poor PWD every night, but I could not have coped otherwise. (The tablets aslo helped with anxiety, crying and constant talking too.)
 

CherryTT4

Registered User
Dec 5, 2019
76
0
Wiltshire
I am sorry. The lack of reasoning, the loss of the ability to see anything from anyone elses viewpoint and the inability to understand others feelings - or even that they have feelings - makes looking after someone with dementia uniquely hard.

Once their body clock is broken and they are up all night it becomes unsustainable and I think you have reached carers breakdown.
Please please contact Social Services today and tell them that you cannot go on and need emergency respite. Say that he is a "vulnerable person at risk" and you can no longer meet his needs. Please also let your GP know what is happening.

You cant go on like this. The statistics for carers who have indeed had heart attacks, strokes etc and died is frightening.
Thank you for your reply. I am worried that if he goes into respite for a week he will comeback worse than he went. I could increase the number of day care sessions but that still leaves sleepless nights. Catch 22. When you mention contacting social care for respite i dont think they would be helpful cos i would be self funding or is emergency respite different? Things are more difficult at the moment cos there is a leak in the bathroom coming through the kitchen ceiling and has been for 2 week. Its a slow work in progress, it never rains but pours, excuse the pun!
 

CherryTT4

Registered User
Dec 5, 2019
76
0
Wiltshire
I think it is worth speaking to his GP about some sort of sleeping medication for him. I have been where you are - got the T-shirt - and you simply can't function for any length of time with so little, broken, sleep.
GP will say there is a falls risk. I said there was a falls risk as Mum was up and down 6 or 7 times a night (in the dark, and poor mobility), so rock and a hard place. GP did agree, and after some trial and error we got back into some sort of normal rythmn. She took Mirtazipine, Quetiapine and also, when required, Lorazepam.
I probably sound like a terrible carer, drugging my poor PWD every night, but I could not have coped otherwise. (The tablets aslo helped with anxiety, crying and constant talking too.)
Thank you for your repy
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
4,160
0
56
North West
Its amazing how things change , one minute its one thing and then its something else. You just get use to how to handle something and then its all change. My husband wanders at night and i dont always hear him. He wrecks his room, clothes all over the place , clean and dirty. Things are put in wong place , some are hidden. He cannot get out of the house . However there is a safety element as i have no idea what he will do. My home is no longer my home. Does anyone else have any experience of this sort of thing. Some nights i am getting very little sleep. Should i think about asking the doctor for some mild sedative for him? On a more positive note i am now sending him to a day centre two days a week. I am surprised how easy it was to get him to go. He is collected and returned , for which i do pay extra but is worth it. To have 6 hours of freedom is amazing. I ask him about his day but he never remembers. We really do need more support from the government. Is there any sort of lobby group we could join? Big hug to all xx
Yes. Not my partner but my mum. As she advanced she was up all night long convinced it was daytime. I can't add too much because I have already written about the many small and big things that happened on my old thread on here. There are many campaigns and action groups depending on where and what it is you really want to say. I started by contacting mums GP out of necessity due to nothing being available to help and then found myself campaigning actively thereafter and haven't stopped even to the point of being on the brink of PhD which is not my MSc qualification but I feel so strongly that if anything gives me more say then I'll just do it to resolve the ineqaulity in dementia care. My dad and my sister died rapidly and horribly from aggressive cancers and they got the whole shamboozle, my mum got and gets nothing in comparison for a physical disease as equally as culpable as cancer
 

lollyc

Registered User
Sep 9, 2020
947
0
Thank you for your reply. I am worried that if he goes into respite for a week he will comeback worse than he went. I could increase the number of day care sessions but that still leaves sleepless nights. Catch 22. When you mention contacting social care for respite i dont think they would be helpful cos i would be self funding or is emergency respite different? Things are more difficult at the moment cos there is a leak in the bathroom coming through the kitchen ceiling and has been for 2 week. Its a slow work in progress, it never rains but pours, excuse the pun!
The difficulty with dementia is that you can never anticipate how things will work out. He may be perfectly happy in respite (Mum was - although the last time was a disaster from my point of view), or it may go terribly. You won't know until you try. Mum constantly surprised me by disliking something I thought she would love, and enjoying (or tolerating) something I thought would be a real battle.
Hopefully medication will help with the broken nights, but I would I up the daycare , or similar, while you can and have some time to yourself. I hate to say it, but there may come a time when daycare isn't an option and you will simply have no "me " time at all. Get it while you can.
 

john1939

Registered User
Sep 21, 2017
200
0
Newtownabbey
My wife used to spend the night rearranging the bedroom furniture, then switching lights on and off. The TV would be put on at full volume.
Finally she had to enter a care home as I was close to a mental breakdown due to lack of sleep. The decision to put her into a home was a particularly hard one but there was simply no alternative.
 

AndyHem

Registered User
Feb 7, 2022
23
0
58
Stone, Staffs
Its amazing how things change , one minute its one thing and then its something else. You just get use to how to handle something and then its all change. My husband wanders at night and i dont always hear him. He wrecks his room, clothes all over the place , clean and dirty. Things are put in wong place , some are hidden. He cannot get out of the house . However there is a safety element as i have no idea what he will do. My home is no longer my home. Does anyone else have any experience of this sort of thing. Some nights i am getting very little sleep. Should i think about asking the doctor for some mild sedative for him? On a more positive note i am now sending him to a day centre two days a week. I am surprised how easy it was to get him to go. He is collected and returned , for which i do pay extra but is worth it. To have 6 hours of freedom is amazing. I ask him about his day but he never remembers. We really do need more support from the government. Is there any sort of lobby group we could join? Big hug to all xx
Hi Cherry. I get that with Mum. She just wanders during the night, putting stuff away and hiding stuff. I found 26 toothbrushes in her wardrobe the other day.
You’re not alone Cherry, believe me. X
 

JHA

Registered User
Aug 7, 2021
727
0
My mum lived alone but started to wander out of the house at night. She is now in a care home but prior to this I stayed with her for 8 days/nights and to say she was like the Duracell Bunny at night was an understatement. She would go to bed then be up ten minutes later moving things around, packing bags, unpacking bags, emptying cupboards as the contents did not belong to her. I found it exhausting and still find weird items packed into plastic bags which she was obviously taking somewhere - the latest was two grubby soap dishes in a carrier bag with her washing powder and pegs.
 

Dutchman

Registered User
May 26, 2017
2,348
0
76
Devon, Totnes
Towards the end my wife ( vascular dementia) had no idea of time and used to get up, fully dressed, at 2,3,4 o’clock in the morning and wake me up. Physically I suffered and that can only go on for so long.
 

silkiest

Registered User
Feb 9, 2017
865
0
Unfortunately @marionq zopiclone is only registered in the uk for short term use - 4 weeks maximum. The normal starting dose for the elderly is 3.75mg and will not usually be prescribed if the persons dementia is affecting sleep as it would have to be changed to another medication later.
 

slim-jim

Registered User
Sep 6, 2020
88
0
Its amazing how things change , one minute its one thing and then its something else. You just get use to how to handle something and then its all change. My husband wanders at night and i dont always hear him. He wrecks his room, clothes all over the place , clean and dirty. Things are put in wong place , some are hidden. He cannot get out of the house . However there is a safety element as i have no idea what he will do. My home is no longer my home. Does anyone else have any experience of this sort of thing. Some nights i am getting very little sleep. Should i think about asking the doctor for some mild sedative for him? On a more positive note i am now sending him to a day centre two days a week. I am surprised how easy it was to get him to go. He is collected and returned , for which i do pay extra but is worth it. To have 6 hours of freedom is amazing. I ask him about his day but he never remembers. We really do need more support from the government. Is there any sort of lobby group we could join? Big hug to all xx
Very similar experiences with my wife, the wandering around the house all evening moving things around and going in and out of rooms for no apparent reason, little or no logic to any of it.I find the evening's are by far the worst times as that is when I would like to put my feet up and watch a programme on TV but little chance as there is always a request to do this or that
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,449
0
Scotland
Unfortunately @marionq zopiclone is only registered in the uk for short term use - 4 weeks maximum. The normal starting dose for the elderly is 3.75mg and will not usually be prescribed if the persons dementia is affecting sleep as it would have to be changed to another medication later.
My female GP prescribed it immediately and told me it’s usefulness would fade and certainly not longer than six months. The hope is that the pattern will be broken by then. My guess she had dementia in her family as she didn’t hesitate. The smaller dose doesn’t work.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
4,160
0
56
North West
Just a point on medication which seems to surface on many threads. Its understandable that sedatives to aid sleep may be the carers attempt at control, however with this medication comes with other problems, not only drug tolerance but also medication induced delirium and the risk of accidents specifically falls.

My mum wandered all night long in the end but we felt jointly that sedation was not appropriate given she had already had two bad falls -as difficult as it may be either 24 hr supervision or change of environment might be better than medication for sleep or mood or agitation which does not remove the cause only treat symptoms to varying degrees of success or failure
 
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