@Greenfingers_girl, please don't take this the wrong way but I'm glad that you realise how exhausting it is looking after your Dad. You are doing it for a few days at a time though but your 80 year old Mum is doing it non-stop. Even if she's fit and healthy that's too much for her. I really feel that if medication doesn't improve things dramatically within the next few weeks then it's time for a care home. Being blunt, letting the situation run on indefinitely amounts to risking your mother's health for your father's wishes. It's really not uncommon for carers to end up predeceasing their PWD, sometimes quite suddenly. With dementia, you are often having to choose the least worst option. The carer's life is as important as the PWD's.
Night time waking. Any suggestions?
- Thread starter Greenfingers_girl
- Start date
Hi, my dad’s now recently been on melatonin (in a dementia care home) and is finally sleeping at night after ages being up all night! Before being in care, at home he was literally up all night, wanting to go home (to his childhood home), wandering and eventually crashing out in the armchair for minutes at a time. Didn’t go to bed for months. My mum was absolutely exhausted. She slept on the sofa next to him for fear of him waking up and falling. I stayed with them for 5/6 days and was so tired after that short time!
Now he’s sleeping well and most nights in bed (can’t believe it) or in a recliner. (Please God it continues). Sleep is so needed!
Your mum is doing great, bless her.
Ask about Melatonin. Good luck.
Thats very interesting. My OH has been getting up 2 or 3 times a night and shouts out for me. He is confused and
delirious. The doc has just prescribed Quetiapine 25mg What is the does your OH takes?
He is on 25 mg at night and I find that they have made a difference though I was at the gp yesterday he has suggested to give him one i the morning and one at night to see if it help the delusions etc during the day so I suggested half 12.5 in the morning to see I was afraid of them making him sleep during the day he has only had it for two mornings and it hasn’t made him sleepy which I’m happy about
@Violet Jane I don't take that the wrong way at all, in fact the last few days have been quite a wake up call. Since being back home dad has slept every night, all night on the Mirtazapine and Lorezapam - other than a couple of wee breaks. But as he's rarely napping in the day now he is needing more activities and is very lively. As much as it's nice to have my lively dad back he seems to be getting caught up in obsessive thoughts a lot which can escalate quickly, then disappear just as quickly.
I've told mum tonight that I'm calling the carer's organisation on Monday to start getting carers in during the day, as much as an enrichment for him as support and an ally for her, she finally said yes. If we ease her in gently then she will realise what a god send they will be and it will be easier to increase the amount of support during the day, which I know we will need. It will also be a professional voice to advise her, and us, going forward especially as she keeps promising my dad she'll never put him in a home. My mum can be oblivious to some elements of this situation but that is her personality and quite frankly I think that's why she's done amazingly for so long. And you sum it up perfectly @Violet Jane it is about choosing the least worst option
@Julialou that is great news!! Like my dad too, long may it continue but I think we both know it probably won't. When I chatted with the Admiral nurse helpline last time they said my dad had probably moved beyond Melatonin helping and advised Mirtazapine. As he is sleeping on it I'm loathed to suggest moving onto something else!
I haven't cried yet about what's happening with my dad, perhaps I know I won't stop if I do or perhaps I know we need to be strong for mum. Maybe it's naive but I've always tried not to think too far ahead with this disease in regards to him. I have good friends who have lost parents or are going through it too so I accept what's happening but I always think don't mourn him yet, his funny, soft, gentle personality it still so much in there still.
I return back home tomorrow with a heavy heart but have one sister coming to spend the day on Sunday and my eldest sister coming on Wednesday to stop for a few days, I think they really need to see him in his current state to appreciate what extra support mum now needs. I'm also encouraging mum to call the GP on Monday regarding the day time effects dad's now experiencing.
Thank you @Jaded'n'faded and all of you for your support and advice, it always seems so much bleaker this time of night it it's the only time I've got near my laptop!
@Belgrave28 My dad seems to get stuck on needing to go to Ireland to see his mum (died in 1985) and that he has no money as someone has stolen it, he keeps getting really agitated and winding up to a rage. I just handed him his wallet and it immediately stopped! Is the kind of thing you were dealing with? I feel bad enough that we are drugging the hell out of him at night, I don't want him sleeping all day too. Have the delusions decreased?
There is a picture of his mum opposite the chair he sits in, I've been wondering if we should just move it to somewhere else, don't know if it'll make him worse or better?!
Hi there
My husband has been the same. Terrible nights when he gets up 2 or 3 times and his muscles are rigid and he
is confused and hallucinating. The doc has just put him on 25mg quietapine and for the last 2 nights he has been ok
He says he hasnt slept but I know he has.
Hi Belgrave
The doc here also said i could give him quietapine during the day and like you I was worried. I havent tried it yet
only the 25mg at night which has made a difference. Mark sleeps a lot during the day anyway so I will only try it
during the day if I feel his hallucinations get out of hand but it is a good idea of yours to try only 12.5mg
Well, l didn't go home and today l cried.
The delusions started by 9.30am so l called 111. It is breaking my heart seeing my dad stuck in this agitated world of obsession and mum and l between us are frazzled.
Awaiting an emergency GP call back and a social services assessment has been triggered.
The delusions started by 9.30am so l called 111. It is breaking my heart seeing my dad stuck in this agitated world of obsession and mum and l between us are frazzled.
Awaiting an emergency GP call back and a social services assessment has been triggered.
(((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))0 @Greenfingers_girl
I hope something gets sorted soon
I hope something gets sorted soon
He's off mirtazapine from today, increased lorezapam and GP appt for Monday. Plus social care referral made. They also said it could be pos infection starting so keep an eye on it.
The clinician was here for nearly 2 hours, he's like a different man tonight - calm, quite tired, enjoying some music. But then he's like that after a big agitated session, knackered after a big adrenalin rush. Not sure how tonight will go though.
My next sister is coming to stay as from tomorrow so l head home, the next one takes over from Wed. Let's see what next week brings....
Thank you all so much, you've kept me (mostly) sane xxxx
The clinician was here for nearly 2 hours, he's like a different man tonight - calm, quite tired, enjoying some music. But then he's like that after a big agitated session, knackered after a big adrenalin rush. Not sure how tonight will go though.
My next sister is coming to stay as from tomorrow so l head home, the next one takes over from Wed. Let's see what next week brings....
Thank you all so much, you've kept me (mostly) sane xxxx
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