1. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    3,725
    North Derbyshire
    Hi all,

    I may have told you a few months ago that mum complained she had been "pushed to the ground" by two members of night staff in her care home. The incident was reported to me by mum, and then by me to the manager, reports produced, and the conclusion was that mum had lost her footing in a strange part of the home (true, she had been sleeping in a different room) and they went to help her, somewhat unsuccessfully. Mum said that both of them pushed her in the chest, but that was denied. Mum also says she pushed them back! There was no sign of bruising or damage to mum, and she didn't seem frightened by it, more angry, but then I am learning that my mum isn't frightened by much at all, and is quite capable (to my surprise) of standing up for herself. She never needed to in the past, my dad did it all for her, but she has a strength of character I am now learning to be proud of.

    Mum complained at the time that they were "forcing" her to go back to bed in the middle of the night and were "nasty" to her. I was told by the manager that the two staff had been advised to let mum stay up if she wanted to, and keep an eye on her rather than force her back to bed against her will.

    All seems to have been okay since then, but mum has started to tell me again that the male member of staff is still shouting at her (she is deaf without her aid), and the "big" female member of staff is rough with her. I asked what she meant by "rough", and mum said "well, she pushes me into the chair, and yesterday she yanked my wrist watch off and hurt my hand". (Mum has a new strap for her watch and it is very stiff, I wouldn't like it yanked over my hand either). I guess this was at bedtime, mum says not, but I know this is not a member of the day staff. I wasn't too worried by that, thought I might have a word with the manager, but mum went on to say "That woman hates me". I said "Mum, how can anyone hate you? You are a lovely lady" (which is true, mild mannered, helpful, polite, friendly, not OTT, nothing at all obnoxious about my mum, just very confused about day and night). "Well, that woman hates me, and I am sure if she could get away with it, she would thump me".

    I can't abide the thought of my mum feeling that one of the staff might thump her. Problem is, is this mum's imagination? Is she perhaps remembering some teenage squabble on the street corner where a big girl threatened to thump her? Or is it real? Is this woman really nasty to my mum (perhaps because of mum's report of the earlier incident), is she really likely to thump my mum? Can anyone imagine that happening to their little 4'8" 6-stone-when-wet 81-year old mum? I am pretty sure my mum would respond accordingly with a kick in the shins, but I don't even want to imagine that happening. How much notice do I take of this? Yes, my mum has AD, but it hasn't amounted to imagining people making threats against her before. Maybe it is a new development, who knows? How do I know?

    Should I ask to speak to this care worker in the presence of the manager? I will be quite calm, ask her for her views, try to see if there is any apparent aggitation from mum. or should I leave it to the manager?

    Advice please.

    Margaret
     
  2. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,439
    Dear Margaret

    As you're obviously aware it could be any of the things you've speculated about - a change in her condition, imagination, a real fear or perhaps simply a sense that the woman isn't happy in her job which makes your mother wary. I don't think it would be a good idea to push to talk to the woman even in front of the manager, but I don't think you should leave it either. Talk to the manager and tell her your concerns. Do you know any other relatives? Particularly of anyone who is less confused? The residents will have a handle on who is a good carer and who isn't ( as will the other carers actually) but it's a questions of getting that info.
     
  3. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    3,725
    North Derbyshire
    Jennifer,

    As this woman is a member of the night staff, I doubt if any other relatives will know her, she comes on duty about 11 p.m. and goes of again about 7 a.m. I have no problem at all with the day carers, neither does mum, they are all lovely.

    I rarely see other visitors as I usually visit mid-morning or early afternoon, as I work till 9 p.m. 3 nights a week, 45 miles away.

    Most of the other residents have some degree of dementia. It is not an EMI home, indeed I don't think we have such a category in our area, never heard it mentioned.

    You might have read my posts about the other problems my mum has had in the care home, apparently no-one else has reported anything similar, so I don't know what the situation is. As I am told 90% of residents (that's 21 out of the 24) are NOT self-funding the local authority maintains regular checks, whereas no-one maintains any check on my mum.

    Maybe no-one else wanders at night, maybe no-one else is a nuisance to the night staff who probably just want an easy time. They are both waking staff, as opposed to sleeping staff.

    After all, they are paid peanuts as we all know, which is a disgrace for a very important job.

    Ah well, I will leave it to the manager, as I thought I should.

    It is just another worry on top of the other 50 worries.

    Love

    Margaret
     
  4. DickG

    DickG Registered User

    Feb 26, 2006
    558
    Stow-on-the-Wold
    Magaret

    I am surprised by your comment that the Local Authority have no interest in the care that your mum receives, they have a statutory duty to monitor the care of all residents in care, there are no exceptions.

    I will always follow up any concerns I have about Mary's care however trivial and do so in a non-confrontational way. It impresses upon staff that I care for Mary and that their actions must be justified. So far I have had nothing but respect and understanding of my position.

    In the end you can always report your concerns to CSCI if you are ignored. Do not under any circumstances accept anything but the best of care for your mother.

    Dick
     
  5. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Dear Margaret, t'was not by choice, but when Lionel was rather ill with a water infection earlier last year, I elected to stay and monitor him, in his room, for 36 hours.

    It did give me the opportunity to talk to the night staff, one of which I knew. It also gave me the chance to determine just how much the night staff are required to do.

    I spent a whole week in the care home with Lionel when they had the 'norovirus' earlier this year. I am now almost reguarded as a member of staff. Yes, and he is self funding.

    To me "that is his home", I must feel as comfortable there as he does.

    Never easy, trying to get to the bottom of any complaint.
    Only you really know your dear mum.
    Sincerly wish you well in what you are trying to do.
     
  6. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    3,725
    North Derbyshire
    Dick

    Can you direct me to proof that the local authority have a statutory duty to monitor the care of all residents? It is not a local authority home.

    The Social Worker who visited me told me of a local care home where two authorities, including ours, have removed all their residents and placed them elsewhere due to concerns about the home, but self-funding residents are still queuing up for a place, totally unaware of the response of the local authorities, and the Social Workers are unable to intervene at all. So I am very interested in your statement that they have a statutory duty to monitor the care of all residents, cos surely they would not allow new residents to be placed there.

    I don't imagine that I will be ignored in my concern, but I am still of the opinion that it is virtually impossible to get to the absolute bottom of it.

    Regards

    Margaret
     
  7. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia


    Dear Margaret,
    Just wanted to say that being told "no-one else has complained" is not necessarily true! I found Mum's first home would say that, leading me to think that I must be over fussy. Later, on talking to other visitors, I discovered a number of complaints had been made and the response was always the same - "no-one else has complained"!! :eek:

    I hope this is NOT true for your Care Home, but just felt I should warn you.

    I would certainly tell the Manager about your concerns. Hard to know what else you can do, but I truly feel for you and your poor Mum.

    Best wishes for sorting this out.
     

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