I couldn't agree more with everything that has been said.
When I say that she's elderly, I didn't think of her as elderly before the doctors referred to her that way, but then, I don't think of my dad as elderly even though he's in his late eighties. There has been a lot of realities to face up to since Dad had this crisis.
I think Dad's partner did think that, once Dad went into hospital, my sister and I would try to oust her. This is not because of anything we've done (we've literally never had a cross word) but, sadly, a result of a divorce and an unblended family.
Because of this, my sister and I made the conscious decision, when Dad first started to have this crisis, that we would offer as much support as possible and defer to her, even if we didn't completely understand her thinking. The most important thing to us was that Dad had the most support and, to be honest, we were concerned that she might run for the hills (which she most definitely has not).
Thanks to this forum, and the help of all the people who have posted, I now feel completely reassured that we have done the right thing in deferring to her.
I might mention to her the offer of help, if wanted, to assist with the deputyship but only if I think it will be received in the spirit it is intended.
It's very sad that this lady has been part of our lives for over forty years and we can't communicate openly and effectively. I have no doubt that when Dad has gone my sister and I will never see her again, but such is life and she has her own family who, no doubt, support her.
When I say that she's elderly, I didn't think of her as elderly before the doctors referred to her that way, but then, I don't think of my dad as elderly even though he's in his late eighties. There has been a lot of realities to face up to since Dad had this crisis.
I think Dad's partner did think that, once Dad went into hospital, my sister and I would try to oust her. This is not because of anything we've done (we've literally never had a cross word) but, sadly, a result of a divorce and an unblended family.
Because of this, my sister and I made the conscious decision, when Dad first started to have this crisis, that we would offer as much support as possible and defer to her, even if we didn't completely understand her thinking. The most important thing to us was that Dad had the most support and, to be honest, we were concerned that she might run for the hills (which she most definitely has not).
Thanks to this forum, and the help of all the people who have posted, I now feel completely reassured that we have done the right thing in deferring to her.
I might mention to her the offer of help, if wanted, to assist with the deputyship but only if I think it will be received in the spirit it is intended.
It's very sad that this lady has been part of our lives for over forty years and we can't communicate openly and effectively. I have no doubt that when Dad has gone my sister and I will never see her again, but such is life and she has her own family who, no doubt, support her.
