News at last

[Sarasa]

I hope you are feeling a bit better about your dad moving into care today @Wildflowerlady and that the social worker gets back to you about her visit to see him today and lets you know her thoughts on how things are going.
I really think you and your sister did all you did to keep your dad at home as long as possible, and that he is now in the best place for him. It is all too easy to think things would be different if only you'd tried harder. If possible I'd try not to mull over the past but think about how you'll be able to see him in his new home when a covid vaccine has all been sorted.

 

[Wildflowerlady]

I hope you are feeling a bit better about your dad moving into care today @Wildflowerlady and that the social worker gets back to you about her visit to see him today and lets you know her thoughts on how things are going.
I really think you and your sister did all you did to keep your dad at home as long as possible, and that he is now in the best place for him. It is all too easy to think things would be different if only you'd tried harder. If possible I'd try not to mull over the past but think about how you'll be able to see him in his new home when a covid vaccine has all been sorted.

Hi @Sarasa I called the CH this afternoon around 2.15pm as lunch is usually finished. The lady from ASC was apparently in with dad chatting to him so I said I would call back later was told around 4pm being a good time when I asked. I called back and ask the nurse how the visit had gone and she said dad had been rather lethargic today so the Social Care Worker said she will call in again on Wednesday to see dad again. I said if dad is tired then not to disturb him thinking the visit may have been enough for dad to cope with but asked how dad has been generally. Nurse said dad isn't keen on the dining room but when he has gone there he seems to be fine and although not talking to other residents has been chatting to the staff a bit. The personnel care she says is as expected and although dad doesn't like it he is allowing it to be done. Dad is not eating a proper lunch but is continuing to eat the puddings she said he does like his sausages that he is having at breakfast time. Nurse said dad was crafty at the weekend saying he didn't want the roast dinner offered him and said he was a vegetarian but I laughed and said dad has never been vegetarian she said they had pointed out he was eating sausages. I don't know if lady from ASC will contact sister or I tomorrow now on basis she is seeing dad again on Wednesday as obviously doesn't seem like her visit today was very helpful. I have said I will call back tomorrow afternoon and hopefully dad will be in a position to have a little chat. I can't say I feel any better but am trying to adjust to the fact dad will not return home, I just wish I could see him.

 

[Palerider]

Hi @Sarasa I called the CH this afternoon around 2.15pm as lunch is usually finished. The lady from ASC was apparently in with dad chatting to him so I said I would call back later was told around 4pm being a good time when I asked. I called back and ask the nurse how the visit had gone and she said dad had been rather lethargic today so the Social Care Worker said she will call in again on Wednesday to see dad again. I said if dad is tired then not to disturb him thinking the visit may have been enough for dad to cope with but asked how dad has been generally. Nurse said dad isn't keen on the dining room but when he has gone there he seems to be fine and although not talking to other residents has been chatting to the staff a bit. The personnel care she says is as expected and although dad doesn't like it he is allowing it to be done. Dad is not eating a proper lunch but is continuing to eat the puddings she said he does like his sausages that he is having at breakfast time. Nurse said dad was crafty at the weekend saying he didn't want the roast dinner offered him and said he was a vegetarian but I laughed and said dad has never been vegetarian she said they had pointed out he was eating sausages. I don't know if lady from ASC will contact sister or I tomorrow now on basis she is seeing dad again on Wednesday as obviously doesn't seem like her visit today was very helpful. I have said I will call back tomorrow afternoon and hopefully dad will be in a position to have a little chat. I can't say I feel any better but am trying to adjust to the fact dad will not return home, I just wish I could see him.

Hmm mum was quite crafty with her food as well, but at the time we were still allowed to visit so I would sit with her in the dining room, which at first she avoided but in time she had come to like sitting in there and chatting to staff and residents. She mostly refused main meals but would never say no to puddings/deserts. She would help with washing up and putting away as she grew more confident with her surroundings and finally the staff started to get to know her. It took a few weeks for mum to leave her room and start to explore and engage but she got there and that was reassuring knowing her character.

 

[jennifer1967]

hi wildflowerlady, hes crafty isnt he. if he refuses a dinner, does he get 2 puddings?at least his eating his sausages. when he was at home he perferred trifle and jersey milk. i suppose he has to get used to having people around him now. at least hes not shouting now which is good thing.

 

[Wildflowerlady]

I called CH today and nurse said dad has been a bit unsteady so they called his GP after taking a urine sample and discovered dad has a UTI. I was told dad ate a good breakfast but as per usual just puddings for lunch but appears he is doing OK. Nurse said dad was also drinking a lot of milk, I asked if it would be OK for me to drop in some Jersey milk for dad and some trifle and she said was absolutely fine to do that suggesting the small individual trifles better than a large one and said I could drop anything in so I might take him some Viennese Whirls too . I managed to have a little chat with dad and he was watching snooker in his room so was happy enough but a little difficult to hear properly. I asked nurse if she could call me once the GP had got back in touch and she said she would. I called sister to let her know how dad was and that was awaiting a call back re; GP. Whilst chatting to sister another call started to call on my phone so said goodbye quickly to take the call which was nurse saying that dads GP was sorting out some antibiotics which they would receive and start giving to dad tonight. The Social Care Worker also called this afternoon and based on the fact dad was quite lethargic and confused yesterday plus UTI infection she will definitely be speaking to him again but will now be Thursday not tomorrow as planned. Social Care Worker to be honest is very nice she seems understanding of our feelings, said that realistically she already feels that dad will be best in a CH. The plan is she has already arranged funding for dads Respite Care for a further two weeks as from next Monday when it was due to end as wants to be sure we move forward for what is in dads 'Best Interest' and gives more time for decisions to be made. The request to the other CH nearer to us has been made and the manager there is willing to speak to the CH dad is in to see if they can meet dads needs too. The Social Worker says they haven't looked at the differences in funding but she believes the CH nearest to us will be more expensive so its possible that a 'Top up' might be needed. I am aware this would need to come from family so is something sister and I would have to discuss and obviously if its a lot then dad will have to stay where is. I assume that if the CH dad is in is within LA budget then no top up would be needed and LA only need to offer one suitable placement. Social Worker said that it might be that they would even decide that may not be in dads interest to move him anyway if he is settled which is main thing as far as I am concerned as I can get to CH by car. Social Worker said dad still has no idea where he is but chatted a lot about his past history, jobs etc which I was able to confirm were correct but dad believed he was living in area he lived over 40 years ago and not this area which is quite a distance from other area. I asked if was possible she could speak to sister which I thought might be better as maybe sister does need someone to prepare her for likelihood dad won't be coming home. Social Worker is aware that there has been issues between sister and I so was fine about doing that and as I say has been very nice. Dad did not mention about going home to either Social Care lady or myself so that was a relief.

 

[Sarasa]

@Wildflowerlady , that all sounds as about as positive as it can be. I think it's a good idea if the social worker talks to your sister as I think she is probably still thinking he could come home. Also if he is settled where he is, it seems silly to move him. How tricky would it be for sister to get there by public transport?

 

[Wildflowerlady]

@Wildflowerlady , that all sounds as about as positive as it can be. I think it's a good idea if the social worker talks to your sister as I think she is probably still thinking he could come home. Also if he is settled where he is, it seems silly to move him. How tricky would it be for sister to get there by public transport?

Hi @Sarasa
I believe it would be two bus rides plus a walk not entirely sure how long as I don't use public transport. My sister hasn't been to any shops since lockdown and doesn't really want to use public transport yet due to covid we have had a increase in our area as well and she is very nervous of catching it as does have underlying health issues. I have offered to take her show her exactly where the CH is but she declined. I would be more than willing to take my sister whenever she wanted to go visit dad if she could only refrain from being spiteful to me when it suits her. Sister's moods with me have been pretty vicious over the last year and its a lot to forgive with no belief on my part she will really stop but I would take her for dads sake as I know he loves her and would want to see her.

 

[jennifer1967]

would she accept a bike as they are quite fashionable. my husband got both of us a bike then sold his. im ever hopeful i might get on mine one day as i do like biking. i used to put the kids as toddlers on a seat at the back.

 

[Wildflowerlady]

Definitely can't see sister on any type of bike, pedal bike would be far to far to get there.