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Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by blodders, Mar 14, 2008.
My Mum was diagnosed yesterday. Feeling bit shattered. Need advice re sheltered housing please.
Welcome to TP, I'm sure you'll find lots of support here.
I'm sorry your mum has just been diagnosed, and I'm not surprised you're shattered. It's a devastating blow for any family.
Could you tell us a bit more about yourself, and what sort of advice you are looking for? Lots of people will have answers for you, but we do need to know a bit more about the questions.
All the best,
First welcome to Talking Point.
Everyone is here to help, support, laugh with, cry with.
Want to welcome you to TP. Its been a lifesaver for me - lots of good advice, sympathy & understanding all through.
Sorry about your Mum - it is shattering isn't it when all the little (or big ) things are suddenly given a name and an "official" status.
Re your question about sheltered housing - I think it depends entirely on what stage your Mum is at. Is she likely to become a "wanderer" etc - will she be able to look after herself for a long while ?
We moved our Mum into what was called "assisted living" - i.e. a sheltered flat (very secure) with carers on hand 24/7 . Is it this kind of housing you are thinking of or just a warden controlled place ? Ours was run by a nation wide charitable organisation and they have places (with waiting lists) all over the country.
BUT and I'm afraid its a big but - by the time we moved our Mum
(4 years into her Alzheimers ) it was really too late for her to take full advantage and she only stayed there around 6 months before she had to go into full time care. It was very obvious that the two moves distressed her - so I think the more you can plan ahead the better.
There are pro's and con's for each type of place - only you know how far your Mum is down the line and if it would be a short term move if the AZ is progresssing quickly - or longer term if she is in very early stages nd there is no reason to worry about a quick progression.
Lots of others will come on line and talk soon - but every sufferer is different. If you feel able , some more details would help enormously.
You'll find a lot of support and info here..
It will help if you can tell us a bit more about your situation..
Love Gigi xx
Welcome to TP sorry I don't have experience of sheltered housing but others here will, and very soon someone will respond. It is shattering when you are first given the diagnosis, you will need time to take it in.
There are plenty of information links on here to help.
When you feel able tell us a little more about your situation, we are all here to help and support.
Can't believe the kindness in the replies I have had.
Not sure I am using the site properly but will keep trying.
Not really sure about anything today. Yesterday was emotionally exhausting.
Thankyou all, will try again tomorrow.
Hi again blodders. You're using the site properly, it's just that it's very difficult to advise without knowing the whole situation -- or at least, as much as you're ready to talk about.
I hope you'll feel able to write more tomorrow, we really do want to help.
Welcome to TP. I'm sorry you have a reason to be here - dementia is a devastating disease for the sufferer and all who love that person. But once you have the diagnosis, TP is the best place to come.
We need to know a bit about your Mum so that our advice can suit her and her circumstances. As you will soon discover, every sufferer is different. They have some aspects in common but there are SO many variations.
For example: sheltered housing can be a great option for some - but not for others.
Whatever advice you get here is only that - advice. It is always YOUR choice what you do, and TPers will support your rights in that way. If we suggest something you don't like, or don't want to do, there is no problem in telling us so (politely!! )
But I think you, like so many of us before you, will find this site gives you great support, a chance to off-load your worries, good and sensible suggestions, practical and useful advice - and a place to come to "let off steam"!
It is impossible to know at what stage your mother is, but if she is so recently diagnosed, now is not the time for decisions.
You sound in shock, so give yourself time to digest the news, find out as much about AD as you can, and then you might be better placed to explore all the options.
While you are coming to terms with it, if ever you will be able to come to terms with it, please be assured there is help and support for you here on TP.
Take care xx