Newly diagnosed mum.

[Doradog]

My mum received confirmation yesterday that she has early onset Alzheimer's, this was awful enough but today she rang me to tell me how I had humiliated her, I tried to reassure her that nothing I have done is to humiliate her and this may sink in for 5 minutes and she'll be grateful I care but then I'm sure she'll ring a friend or other relative and tell them I'm awful and controlling I am being and that there is nothing wrong and that it's just poor memory due to old age. She's 72, she is not old. I haven't really recognised my mum for some years, she isn't the person she was with the exception that she can still be quick witted and bright, mind you even her humour is warped now. I see lots of people note how relatives ring them constantly, it have the opposite problem mine only calls when she want to ask me a random question about another person or to tell me I have humiliated her. On top of this my poor mum has also been undergoing treatment for breast cancer, although as terrible as it sounds breast cancer was the easier illness to deal with at least it can be cut out. I feel rather self indulgent ranting about how awful this is for me but I thank anyone who took the time to read it and maybe understand a little and to all of you dealing with this you have my utmost admiration.

 

[Dunkers58]

Hello Doradog. Please don't feel bad about ranting, this is exactly the place to do it, and everyone who has the need to use this forum knows how you are feeling. Many will have experienced what you are describing. It is an evil disease.
best wishes.

 

[susy]

Exactly what Dunkers posted. Please express just what you need to on here. You will gain lots of knowledge just by asking.

 

[Doradog]

Thank you!

Thank you, just knowing others are going through or have gone through this and understand makes me feel a bit more sane.

 

[jaymor]

Hello Doradog and welcome to Talking Point.

Both you and your Mum must be devastated by the diagnosis, it is the one disease no one wants to have. I have felt just the same as you, my husband was diagnosed at 62 and our life was over, or so I thought at the time. Give Mum time, she may come to terms with it or she may not. Many people go into denial when told.

Please do come to the forum for support and advice and when you want to scream and rant we are all ears, no one will judge you, we all understand.

Take care and keep posting

 

[Bambini]

Welcome to the forum. My mum was diagnosed last year and I had the same conversation about embarrassing and humiliating her. A year on and I'm still trying to work this disease out but I've found changing the subject quickly to something nice seems to work and makes her forget to complain at me all the time. You have to think one step ahead all the time. I'm sorry your mum has been diagnosed. Sending hugs x


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

 

[Frederic H]

bad temper

it is amazing how quickly a good day is suddenly spoiled by an accusation which comes out of nowhere.
yesterday I agreed to plant some plants and to prop up some others after lunch.I also told my wife that after that I had to go to the tip.When I got back she was in the garage in a foul mood throwing thing a about ,because I had not done what she asked.I told her that I had and we then went and had a look.
this morning I woke her at 9 pm at 10 to 10 she was still sitting in her dressing gown.
why is it so late why have you not woken me why do you always do this ?
Everything that is a problem is always my fault.
It is early days for me and i have to keep reminding myself that it is the illness talking not her .

 

[Doradog]

Hello Frederic H, it's so hard isn't it when someone you love and care for so much suddenly turns on you, your immediate and understandable reaction is to be a bit defensive, I guess we have to learn stategies to deflect and diffuse the anger, I'm getting great tips from people on here. My stepdad is taking the brunt of things at the moment I think he would recognise things you have said in my mum, I'm hoping when she starts the drug treatment it will help her mood, fingers crossed. Best wishes to you, you are not alone.