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Janjay

New member
Sep 28, 2018
8
Hi All...
I am new to this site and my husbands carer. I have not posted before. Mys husband has a diagnosis of Alzheimer/Vascular mix, he has had an official diagnosis for about a year now but worries concerning his memory go back four years. Reading your posts is a great help to me, I think I have been in denial, but is no longer possible, my husband is still a loving and caring man, but struggles with every day life, I have to remind him to wash, change shave, tell him to eat, stop him from overeating, at the moment he still puts me first and foremost but I can see him changing, getting frustrated and upset, but I do feel very sorry for myself as well as for him, I keep thinking it wasn't meant to be like this, now was supposed to be our time, and I feel we have been robbed of that time....how do people cope with saying the same things over and over, and that look that you get when your partner thinks your lying....thanks for listening sometimes things seem a little easier when you see it written down
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
3,810
Nottinghamshire
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @Janjay

My dad had mixed dementia and, like you, I had noticed changes years before his diagnosis but tried to ignore them. I'm glad I found this site as it helped me to care for my dad until the end. Things do seem a little easier when shared.
 

Janjay

New member
Sep 28, 2018
8
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @Janjay

My dad had mixed dementia and, like you, I had noticed changes years before his diagnosis but tried to ignore them. I'm glad I found this site as it helped me to care for my dad until the end. Things do seem a little easier when shared.
 

Janjay

New member
Sep 28, 2018
8
Thank you....I hope I can find some way through this site to feel normal, I see my friends and their partners doing normal things that are out of the question for us in some respects.....
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,344
South coast
I know what you mean @Janjay . OH and I are in our early 60s and our friends are planning their retirement, or going on fabulous holidays and taking up new pursuits. Me, Im dealing with care agencies, social services and district nurses, filling up dossette boxes with meds, learning about catheters and pressure sores in a house that is gradually filling up with boxes of medical stuff, boxes of prescription drugs, zimmer frames, rollators, grab rails and risers..........

No its not meant to be like this and Its hard not to feel envious. It is OK to grieve for the loss of your dreams and ambitions
 

Am59

Registered User
Jan 18, 2020
17
I know what you mean @Janjay . OH and I are in our early 60s and our friends are planning their retirement, or going on fabulous holidays and taking up new pursuits. Me, Im dealing with care agencies, social services and district nurses, filling up dossette boxes with meds, learning about catheters and pressure sores in a house that is gradually filling up with boxes of medical stuff, boxes of prescription drugs, zimmer frames, rollators, grab rails and risers..........

No its not meant to be like this and Its hard not to feel envious. It is OK to grieve for the loss of your dreams and ambitions

Canary, I'm in a similar boat to you. I've just posted on the well-being thread and our posts are similar. I'm 60, hubby 73. He was diagnosed with Parkinson's dementia in October and I've had the same negative, resentful feelings as you. We had so many appointments at the hospital last year we should have our own parking space. You see friend's older than you going on cruises, having days out and you're stripping a wet bed in the morning or worrying because he's set a tea towel on fire or burnt yet another pan while you've been out. I understand how you feel and it's nice to know you're not alone with it all. Friends sympathise but they don't know what it's like.