Dear all, I've just joined this online community because my mum (87) has dementia (Altzheimers, Vascular Dementia and some frontal temporal lobe damage - so a triple whammy, bless her). She's being cared for by my dad (84). They live 2.5 hours away and up until last year were both amazingly mentally well and physically coped with the usual afflictions of older age - arthritis, osteoarthritis, etc. Then Mum's behaviour became very odd very suddenly (she was psychotic for 3 months before a proper diagnosis was made - waiting lists, etc). They have an excellent local G.P. and now Mum is under the care of a psychiatrist at the Memory Clinic, I feel much more confident that her illness is being taken seriously and that she's receiving appropriate medication and support. My main issue is that my dad - an immensely capable man who for years has been doing 'good works in the community' - cannot accept that now, he needs more help. After a recent crisis where Mum went walkabout (actually, busabout, if that's a word - it may be in the Dementia support community!) and was brought home by the police, he has finally given in to months of pleading by my brother and myself that he should engage with a home care/sitting service and arrange for Mum to have company when he goes out (he was also locking her in, which I've recently found out is illegal, though I totally understand why carers resort to this if they need to pop out, etc). My concern - and I've seen it expressed on this forum - is that he hates the thought of 'strangers' coming to the house and 'interfering' (he's happy for me to come and look after Mum while he goes off for short respite breaks, but I work and can't do this more than occasionally). Do people have helpful strategies for persuading stubborn care givers that it is no disgrace to ask for help and that Social Services don't want to judge or condemn but may be called in if there's another crisis? Any thoughts on this very welcome. Sorry this is such a long post - I've been feeling lonely, frustrated and guilty for so long and it's great to have discovered a 'tribe'!