Newbie post - advice appreciated

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by kizzi10000, Aug 24, 2007.

  1. kizzi10000

    kizzi10000 Registered User

    Aug 24, 2007
    5
    Hi

    Please bear with me, maybe a lbit ong winded for an introductory post!

    My husbands grandad has recently been diagnosed with alzheimers, though I don't know how bad he is, after breaking his hip in a fall a few weeks ago. He's still in hospital, not fully aware of what's going on and is doubly incontinent.

    There's a lot of complicated things going on with grandad, his daughter (dh's aunt) and a next door neighbour. Grandad and his daughter live together and not so long ago this neighbour hadn't spoken to tem in years, yet they've sudden;t become very pally.

    This neighbour visited grandad in hospital and got him to sign some paperwork. Afterwards grandad got very upset as he didn't know what he'd signed and wanted it back to he could destroy it. DH went to see his aunt this afternoon about it and was told where to go with his concerns as grandad welfare was nothing to do with him!

    The main worry we have (as hubby is pretty sure money features very strongly in all this) is that aunt may think about selling the house to neighbour as he coerced his neighbour the other side into selling him the property. The land is a fair size and a developer has already shown interest.

    In a roundabout, is there any way we can find out what has been signed, is there anything we can do about it, and who would we inform if we believe he's signed under duress without understanding what.

    Any help will be much appreciated
     
  2. blue sea

    blue sea Registered User

    Aug 24, 2005
    270
    England
    This sounds a very diificult situation and I think you need specialist advice. You could contact the Alzheimer Society helpline (see this main website for phone number or e mail contact details) or Age Concern (see their website) who would be able to give better advice than those of us on this forum, who can really only speak from our own individual experience. It may be that someone here has more direct experience of this sort of situation and can give more help than I can, but I still think it is worth getting some specialist advice. It is possible for your grandad to have an advocate to speak on his behalf and I'm sure the above organisations could advise on this, as on whether you need to involve any other agencies ( e.g. police, social services). They can give you all the relevant contacts. Good luck with it all. It must be a very stressful time for you and your husband.

    Blue sea
     
  3. kizzi10000

    kizzi10000 Registered User

    Aug 24, 2007
    5
    Thanks Blue Sea. This has all happened in the last week or two and it's the now knowing who to get in touch with that's difficult. Hubby's ound his sisters at the mo so I will pass on the advice when he gets back.
     
  4. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,418
    #4 jenniferpa, Aug 24, 2007
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2007
    You might also want to contact (or at least look at) the elder absue website http://www.elderabuse.org.uk/. They have a specialist help line, and are not only concerned with physical but also financial abuse of the elderly.

    Jennifer
     
  5. kizzi10000

    kizzi10000 Registered User

    Aug 24, 2007
    5
    That's been a great help, Jennifer, thanks.
     
  6. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Kizzi, what an awful situation. It's hard enough having to cope with Alzheimer's, without this worry on top.

    It does sound as if the situation should be investigated, and I hope one of the contacts you've been given will be able to help.

    Please let us know.

    Love,
     
  7. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,418
    Something I feel I should mention, just in case you're not aware of it. In the event that your husbands grandad needs residential or nursing care, the Local Authority will either require a financial assessment or expect the fees to be paid out of assets. If it turned out that assets had been disposed of at less that "face value" they have a great deal of lattitude to go after those assets. So the upside is that should it turn out that some assets had been siphoned off, for example, that may cause considerably more pain for the siphoner than they might expect.

    Further more, while your husbands aunt might have the right of abode in the grandads house (although that will depend on her age and certain other factors) which might mean the value of the house is disregarded when it comes to care contribution calculations, as soon as the house is sold that disregard ceases, and the full value of the house is then counted. My point being that if she is not careful she might be out her home and the money.

    The downside of this situation is that the person with dementia is generally assumed to be competant until a court finds otherwise when it comes to such thing as wills and contracts. I have no doubt that from what you say the court would find in his favour, but the assets could well be eaten up by legal fees.

    In other words, your husband's aunt could well be playing fast and loose with the finances, but I do wonder whether she is herself being taken advantage of by an unscrupulous individual, becasue the person who will be potentially on the hook for any lost assets will be her not the neighbour.

    Jennifer
     
  8. kizzi10000

    kizzi10000 Registered User

    Aug 24, 2007
    5
    Thanks again Jennifer. Aunt may be old and arthritic, but her mind is as sharp as any and she can be pretty devious when she wants, as can hubby's dad, so we believe they are out to get whatever they can.

    hubby and sis didn't get to the hospital last night, so they are going this evening and can hopefully get some more information
     
  9. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,418
    Hmm I have however noticed that sometimes the expression "so sharp they'll cut themselves" comes to mind: people who think they're alive to all the options and dodges who aren't quite as on the ball as they think they are. Frankly you can get yourself tied up into enough knots when you're trying to act in an above the board manner when it comes to someone else's finances, let alone acting in an underhand manner.
     
  10. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    I must add that is so true and so well said .
     
  11. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    Hi Kizzie,this kind of situation happened to a colleague of mine a couple of weeks ago.She only found out because her grandad needed help,he owned his own home,or so her and her dad thought.Not so apparently,his other son got him to sign the house over to him 15 years ago.At a time when he was vulnerable having just lost his wife.My friend and her dad have sought legal advice as grandad still insists the house is his.Its a shady world out there so please do what you can to find out the truth about what has been signed.I do know she is researching the P.O.V.A regulations to see if there is something in it to help them.take care elainex
     
  12. kizzi10000

    kizzi10000 Registered User

    Aug 24, 2007
    5
    Thank you for all the advice.

    Hubby and his sis went to see grandad, who's doing remarkably well, gaining weight, and having a great time in hospital as people are looking after HIM for a change. He excitedly told them about one of the nurses giving him a shave, and admitted that he wanted to go into a nursing home. Got confused a couple of times and asked hubby how 'hubby' was getting on, but realised he was actually talking to him already.

    They are working out what to do next now and I've passed on all the info. Hubby's mum mentioned she had an impression that aunt was using grandads bank card to pay for things, but unless we have access to his bank account I don't know how we can prove that one. All statements etc would go to the house, and hubby has been told he's not welcome there any more. I'm not sure they want to worry grandad with everything just yet, and didn't mention what 'might' be going on when they saw him.
     

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