1. Q&A: Medication - Thurs 22nd November, 3-4pm

    Do you have questions about medication and drug treatments for dementia? There's no drug to cure dementia yet, but it's often possible to relieve some symptoms.

    Our next expert Q&A will be hosted by Simon from our Knowledge Services team. He will be answering your questions on Thursday 22nd November from 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

newbie Living with mum with alzheimers

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Talking Point' started by scoobiedoo, Nov 4, 2018.

  1. scoobiedoo

    scoobiedoo New member

    Nov 4, 2018
    3
    Female
    Hampshire
    Hi there,
    I'm a newbie I joined tp yesterday. I have been living with my mum who has Alzheimer's for the past 7 years I decided to give up my home and move in with her originally to give mum a little helping hand but over the 7 years she has changed so much and I have in affect changed with her everything I do is based around her and how I can make things better for her,I work aswell and have changed jobs so many times for work that suits us both. When I'm at work I have carers in to aid with personal care and companionship but it still doesn't stop me stressing if she's ok and I thought it's about time I reached out to other people in similar situations that we find ourselves in just because we want the best for our loved ones,my life has been on hold for 7 years but I wouldn't change that,I just need a little help and advice to get me through the tough times and hopefully I can help other people too.
     
  2. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    4,832
    Male
    Bristol
    Welcome to TP, scoobiedoo. I like you way you describe your life as being on hold for 7 years, but you wouldn't change it. I try to think like that like that, and succeed most days. You will certainly find many people on here with advice and support whenever you need us.
     
  3. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    6,537
    Yorkshire
    hello @scoobiedoo
    a warm welcome to TP
    you've arrived at exactly the right place to find sympathy and support and share your experiences
    your mum is a fortunate woman to have you looking after her, and it's good that you do have carers visiting to support you both - is it possible to also consider time at a day care centre for your mum while you work
    now you've foind us, keep posting with anything that's on your mind
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    67,087
    Kent
    Hello @scoobiedoo . I'm sorry it`s taken you 7 years to find us but hope you will now find it worthwhile.

    You've done well caring single handedly for so long. I know you have a good care package but you'll still spend the major part of the day with your mum.

    I hope you manage to get some time to yourself, other than work time.
     
  5. scoobiedoo

    scoobiedoo New member

    Nov 4, 2018
    3
    Female
    Hampshire
    #5 scoobiedoo, Nov 4, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2018
    Hi shedrech,
    Thankyou for your reply,I did look into day care and mum was assessed and accepted but with mums behaviour issues due to the alzheimers we have days where she has trantrums and she refuses to get out of bed or if she thinks she's going somewhere she goes into naughty child mode and sometimes I give in to avoid further upset just to calm her down usually a cup of tea and a cake helps, I was told by the transport people who would pick her up if she wasn't ready they wouldn't wait for her, I'd love her to go and I think it would benefit her so much with social skills etc but it seemed at the time I was getting myself stressed out to try and work this out so unfortunately it got put on the back burner.
     
  6. witts1973

    witts1973 Registered User

    Jun 20, 2018
    287
    I think you're doing a great job,day centres sound geat for those that can manage that and if you can't I wouldn't worry,your mum is being looked after well and she's lucky to have you there for her,my mum is bed bound and doesn't leave the house but she's loved dearly and is safe at home and well looked after,the day consists of watching tv with me every day and chatting and she is very content.
     
  7. scoobiedoo

    scoobiedoo New member

    Nov 4, 2018
    3
    Female
    Hampshire
    Thank you,I think your doing a great job too.I think I beat myself up a lot thinking I should be doing more but your so right she's safe,well looked after and very much loved I know theres lots of confusion for mum but she seems happy and everyday there's laughter.
     
  8. witts1973

    witts1973 Registered User

    Jun 20, 2018
    287
    I find things can get intense as I live in a little carers bubble,to be honest that can also make me a little bit paranoid about what other people think,that includes the neighbours and even the carers that come 4 times a day,you can only do your best though.
    It's nice that your mum gets a companionship call,one of my mums carer's who is a lovely girl,tells me that she does a companionship call at another home and she sits with a lady and they both have a bacon sandwich that she has made and have a natter while watching Sky tv,she looks forward to the care visit and I bet that lady loves it,I enjoy listening to what they get up to at the weekends and free time as I don't get out myself now.
     

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