1. Trisha4

    Trisha4 Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    2,440
    Yorkshire
    I know every day is the start of a new year but as we approach 2017 I am finding it very hard to find good things to anticipate. We have continued to travel together despite my husband's Alzheimer's although needing extra planning and strategies. I now feel most things have become too difficult for us to do. My husband's condition has deteriorated considerably in the last 6 months although he is still very physically fit. I can't see us coping with life together at home for another 12 months so 2017 looms as a year when difficult decisions will have to be made and I dread it. As a Scot Hogmanay has always been significant for me but I am facing tomorrow with real trepidation. I know many of you will be too.


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  2. irismary

    irismary Registered User

    Feb 7, 2015
    499
    West Midlands
    Hi Trisha. I empathise as I too know I face some difficult decisions in the not too distant future. I have been poorly twice recently - only minor things - but goodness me it was so hard to manage then. I know I need more help just not sure what. New year does focus the mind somewhat and perhaps a new years resolution to make sure that we consider our needs as well as the pwd would not go amiss as they need us to be fit, well and generally in a good place - well as good a place as possible anyway. Best wishes.
     
  3. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,954
    Female
    Scotland
    New Year was always a time of great optimism in our house which was unbelievable. Mum widowed at 32 and with 3 young children to raise. Was it general or just us? I don't know but in Glasgow in the fifties everyone hoped for better things to come. Well we all got better off but we also got older and in some cases sicker.

    Nevertheless I approach 2017 in the same vein. I don't know what will happen but when I look around the world it can't be that bad. I heard my daughter last week tell her 14 year old daughter she had already won the Lottery - she was British, lived in a beautiful countryScotland, spoke English, had free education and health care - that was as good a start as anyone could wish for.

    As carers life sometimes feels hellish but - let's hope for better things to come. I wish you all well from the bottom of my heart.
     
  4. irismary

    irismary Registered User

    Feb 7, 2015
    499
    West Midlands
    Well said marionq - we are very fortunate in lots of ways especially compared to some parts of the world where life is exceptionally hard in ways we cannot comprehend.
     
  5. sunlover

    sunlover Registered User

    Dec 6, 2011
    56
    Ew tear

    What is there to look forward to 2017 when your hubby has Alzheimeres
     
  6. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    60,139
    Female
    Dundee
    My husband had Alzheimer's for 15 years. He died in July of this year. If I'm being honest I would say that I savoured each and every year we had, even as he progressed in his illness. We made the best we could of things. I would give anything to have him back with me now.


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  7. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    60,139
    Female
    Dundee
    Marion I echo your sentiments.


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  8. Trisha4

    Trisha4 Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    2,440
    Yorkshire
    I think how much each carer can 'make the best of things' is probably affected by the amount of support they receive and the actual issues they face with the person they care for. For example, I know of carers who are treated aggressively which is quite hard to make the best of.


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  9. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    60,139
    Female
    Dundee
    I do understand that. I also cared for my mother who had Vascular Dementia and lived with us. She was much harder than Bill.
     
  10. Chrismitch

    Chrismitch Registered User

    Jun 23, 2011
    127
    Hi Izzy
    So sorry to hear about Bill. I haven't been on TP for so long so didn't know.
    Pete has deteriorated a lot recently but I keep dragging him off on holidays. I take a friend or two now. Otherwise it's like holidaying alone with a large toddler. That way I have someone to chat to. 2017 will be the last holiday together though. Off to Thailand in February for three weeks so wish me luck!
    Chris


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  11. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    60,139
    Female
    Dundee
    Oh that's kind of you Chris. I do indeed wish you well. Xx


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  12. irismary

    irismary Registered User

    Feb 7, 2015
    499
    West Midlands
    Hi sunlover. In some ways the thought of 2017 fills me with dread because of the hard decisions I may have to make but I am looking forward to the occasional evenings out with friends when my husband will have his son sit with him, the days when he is at day care and I can go to the gym, steam room, hairdressers, or for a facial or a massage or just work at home quietly or loudly with a cd on. Then with my husband I look forward to keeping him as happy and comfortable as possible for as long as possible and enjoying with him watching the birds in the garden, him laughing at old comedies on tv - allo, allo etc, watching the planes, looking at the moon, etc. Its very hard but today I am taking a deep slow breath and reminding myself that I am a strong and resilient person making the best of a **** situation. 2017 won't be pretty but I will do my best to try and appreciate what we do have compared to some parts of the world. However I know there will be days when I hate it all with a vengeance
     
  13. Guzelle

    Guzelle Registered User

    Aug 27, 2016
    417
    Sheffield
    Good luck. May I ask you about travel insurance when traveling abroad with someone with dementia I am thinking of going to Spain as he says he wants to go. Wondered if you knew the best company to go with.
     
  14. technotronic

    technotronic Registered User

    Jun 14, 2014
    224
    New Year or whatever time of year it is, we as carers have to make the best of the situation we have, A new year just means another year down the road to losing our partners or family member from this horrible condition.
    All we can do is look after them n do the best for them as we can while taking care to look after ourselves as well.
    Life may seem hard for us as carers but its much harder n more frustrating for sufferers, n they look to us to be there for them much more now as they did once in 'normal' times together.
    May I take this opportunity to wish all on here and all carers A Happy New Year, n may it be an easier one for you all.


    Sent from my iPod touch using Talking Point
     
  15. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    5,523
    East Sussex
    Hi

    I took my mum to Egypt in September and did a "comparison site" search, we used Get Going.

    I had to list all mums conditions and questions about if she would be alone or with someone, to which my reply was she would be with me. The premium was a lot higher than mine, but we accepted that as the cost of going

    I was in & out of various sites sorting trains, taxi etc & believe it or not when I finally clicked buy, I'd forgotten to put in Alz!!!

    I phoned the next day, explained what I'd done & they added in Akz, asked all the questions over the phone & it was fine

    The medical question made NO difference to the cost. The high premium was due to her age alone! She is 81

    Not all companies will cover, so choice is limited, none would do an annual cover, only a one trip.

    If she is up to it, I'm hoping to go again in 2017 :). She does live the sun

    Sam
     
  16. Chrismitch

    Chrismitch Registered User

    Jun 23, 2011
    127
    I'm with staysure but because of heart history my hubby is not insured. I am. Difficult!


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  17. monron

    monron Registered User

    Dec 30, 2016
    16
    monron

    New year, my wife was admitted to hospital she was. Sectioned and it was the worst thing that I have ever experienced, happy not. I miss her so much and I feel like Judas.
     
  18. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    Though I can understand why you feel like that, and originally also felt like that when my husband went into Care, you know, in your heart, that you had no alternative. I hope you find some peace with your decision.
     
  19. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    60,139
    Female
    Dundee
    I'm so sorry. I somehow missed your question and therefore didn't respond. Like others who have responded I used Staysure. I found them very helpful. I declared my husband's dementia as a medical condition and paid a bit extra because of that.
     

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