Gosh this all sounds so familiar. The accusations can be extremely wearing and as has been said there is an automatic gut reaction to them, they are so ludicrous and so unjust yet the accuser implicity believes in what they are saying. Sadly your mum knows she had the plant pot and has concocted the tale of it;s theft to rationalise what to her is a contradictory and inexplicable happening. That is her plant pot has vanished, hence someone has stolen it. so she turns on the only people she knows and accuses them. It won;t go away because mum will forget she was accusing you five minutes ago but sadly doesn;t forget her plant pot - it;s like the brain gets stuck in the same old groove and goes over and over like a stuck record.
I can say that reason won't work. It may be possible to distract, but that doesn;t always work.
Sad to say the only response to it - at least if you're on the phone - if mum becomes agressive, verbally abusive or starts with accusations is to say "I am sorry but if you are going to speak that way I am going to say goodbye and will put the phone down". Effectively this is like walking out of the room.
Yes, we can remember that it's the disease talking, but it sure doesn;t make it any less painful to have a loved one saying horrible, hurtful things, accusing us of dreadful things we haven't done or saying literally "demented" stuff.
It is possible to buy devices that stop phones dialling all but a list of permitted numbers. It really sounds as though something has to be done to stop mum pestering people at work.
I know exactly what you mean - even when my dad isn;t accusing us of things or off on one of his paranoid rants about our "wicked" neighbour, we feel like we are walking around in a minefield waiting for the next outburst. Of course dad thinks he;s saying something new rather than the same old stuff for the hundredth time and so gets agitated when we don;t respond the way he things we should!
Sad to say mum usually pretends she is deaf and just ignores him, and usually he sputters on for a while before lapsing into a sulky silence.
I can say that reason won't work. It may be possible to distract, but that doesn;t always work.
Sad to say the only response to it - at least if you're on the phone - if mum becomes agressive, verbally abusive or starts with accusations is to say "I am sorry but if you are going to speak that way I am going to say goodbye and will put the phone down". Effectively this is like walking out of the room.
Yes, we can remember that it's the disease talking, but it sure doesn;t make it any less painful to have a loved one saying horrible, hurtful things, accusing us of dreadful things we haven't done or saying literally "demented" stuff.
It is possible to buy devices that stop phones dialling all but a list of permitted numbers. It really sounds as though something has to be done to stop mum pestering people at work.
I know exactly what you mean - even when my dad isn;t accusing us of things or off on one of his paranoid rants about our "wicked" neighbour, we feel like we are walking around in a minefield waiting for the next outburst. Of course dad thinks he;s saying something new rather than the same old stuff for the hundredth time and so gets agitated when we don;t respond the way he things we should!
Sad to say mum usually pretends she is deaf and just ignores him, and usually he sputters on for a while before lapsing into a sulky silence.
