New to this

sonnyboy48

Registered User
Mar 7, 2012
3
Crawley West Sussex
Hi im looking for help , advise and friendship really as my dad has Alzheimers and seems to be getting worse and as im sure many of us are in the same boat I guess im just looking for advise really and somewhere I can let off steam :) My dad is living at home with my brother and his son at the moment as we feel we can all manage between us for now but as you all probably know is very hard for everyone expecially when none of us really know where to start with getting proper help and support .
 

Dorris

Registered User
Nov 4, 2011
51
cambridgeshire
Hi,
Then you have definitely come to the place!! I came here in November with countless questions etc, these people are so kind and understanding and someone will always know the answer or understand exactly what you are going through :)
 

Dazmum

Registered User
Jul 10, 2011
10,314
Horsham, West Sussex
Hi and welcome to another west sussex member! i have had lots of help and advice here and also glad to say from west sussex county council and social services if ever you should need them.
 

together

Registered User
May 25, 2010
483
Derbyshire
Welcome to TP.It's a wonderful site where you'll find friendship, help, and masses of support. It has helped me through tough times and I've had so much advice and support. It's so nice to feel you're not alone through tough times.Take care Katherinex
 

mrs pepperpot

Registered User
Nov 12, 2010
70
south wales
theres nothing you can ask here that someone hasnt experience of, just ask. tell us whats your situation and what you need to know. its a great place and we can also have a laugh, yes you can still laugh. welcome
 

Chippy01

Registered User
Mar 6, 2012
13
I'm new too!

my dad's in denial
Hi
this is the first time that I've looked at this site and it's been really interesting to read all the comments. My dad was diagnosed with Alzheimers in Nov 2011. He is in denial about the diagnosis and although he's taking the medication (when he remembers) he believes that it has cured him and that he no longer has a problem with his memory. Over the past few months he voluntarily gave up driving , as requested by the consultant after we raised concerns for his and others safety. We talked about having a driving assessment and dad agreed. However, he then went to an optician and has cataracts in both eyes and needs to see a consultant about that. What he is struggling with is that he feels that he is a safe driver but knows that he can't read a number plate at the required distance. He is not seeing the consultant about his sight until end of April and this topic has now become obsessional and is all he'll talk about and he can be regularly verbally aggressive when we say anything that suggests he has to wait, that he has to inform DVLA etc. My husband went out in the car with dad driving at dad's request and he couldn't find his way to places and stopped the car in the middle of the road in panic. he didn't see speed bumps or slow down enough for them. He denies that he did this and continues to talk about driving all the time. He says that life is not worth living without his car (although he walks to the bus stop and catches a bus into town every day) and intimated that he'd kill himself if he doesn't get his car back (at the moment it's at my husbands garage, which dad agreed to).
We're thinking that it would be best if he just takes the driving assessment and he agrees and then at other times he says he needs to wait to get his cataracts done or he'll fail it. The trouble is that he's so obsessed by it that it is making his symptoms worse as well as his anger and aggression.
Dad lives on his own and has never been able to accept mum's death 9 years ago. he has no care support apart from family - me and my sister - and it's us that he gets angry with.
The other problem we have is that he refuses to have a bath or shower - since last April! he says that he has a "good wash" but that's it.

Any advice or thoughts are welcome.

thanks

Chippy01
 

Drummer

Registered User
Mar 7, 2012
2
Berkshire
And me!

Hi, I've just found this forum too and it is already reassuring that some of the things I am going through with my mother, who has Alzheimers and vascular dementia, are clearly very common. Like Chippy, Mum has started to just have "all over washes" and I have a real struggle to get her in the bath. She also seems to constantly be eating, and often eating inappropriate foods - I caught her eating tinned cat food on her roll. She didn't even think that was odd! She lives with me and so far I cannot get any care support so I am feeling frustrated, tired and emotional most of the time. At least she hasn't driven for many years, so that is not something I worry about - and it must be a worry, Chippy. They get so aggressive when you thwart them - I am finding that difficult.

The current problem is Mum is scratching herself all the time to the point that she is drawing blood, but I can't see any rash or anything. I wondered if that was part of the disease or something else?
Drummer
 

Chippy01

Registered User
Mar 6, 2012
13
Hi

It is reassuring that there are common themes, so getting advice and support and someone to share it with is going to be great especially at those times when we're feeling low or frustrated. I'm glad I've found this forum.

Chippy01