Don't really know how to start or why I'm writing this but selfishly I hope it helps me process things a bit better. My mum was diagnosed today with stage 3 alzheimer's and stage 4 dementia and I'm heartbroken. Although I already knew, hearing dad say the words hit me hard. Mum had a stroke about 20 years ago and we were warned then she may not recover, we were warned to prepare for the worst but 3 months in hospital and after a lot of hard work she recovered well and went on to have a completely normal active life. Up until about 4 years ago when it was noticeable she was becoming forgetful, anniversary cards in the wrong month or to the wrong people but I suppose we found the 'silly things' funny. I have fought with my dad to get her seen and was constantly told by him it's her age, it happens to us all. But when he broke his ankle and ended up in hospital himself for 7 days the decline in mum was rapid and I took her to the doctors myself and started the process. After several long months of waiting we got the diagnosis today, he has not been completely honest with her just said she has a bit of dementia and a bit of alzheimer's is that the right thing to do? Shouldn't she know the truth? Or is it not worth upsetting her for a while until she forgets we've said it. I have so many questions I don't even know which ones to ask first. All I can see ahead is her not knowing who I am and losing my darling mum completely and wondering how long am I going to have her for. I'm so scared. Sorry for the ramble think I just needed to start to get it out.
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Hello @Jdc4877 and welcome to Talking Point
It is not selfish nor stupid to write down what is happening. It is normal to feel overwhemed by a diagnosis, even when you are expecting it and it is perfectly OK to use this forum as a sounding board.
Telling your mum that she just has a bit of Alzheimers is probably the right thing to do. Most people with dementia are unable to completely understand their diagnosis and just get upset with no benefit. I have had to learn to be "economical with the truth".
BTW, your mum may not forget who you are. My mum could not always remember my name and relationships were tricky things, but she always knew me and her face lit up every time she saw me.
It is not selfish nor stupid to write down what is happening. It is normal to feel overwhemed by a diagnosis, even when you are expecting it and it is perfectly OK to use this forum as a sounding board.
Telling your mum that she just has a bit of Alzheimers is probably the right thing to do. Most people with dementia are unable to completely understand their diagnosis and just get upset with no benefit. I have had to learn to be "economical with the truth".
BTW, your mum may not forget who you are. My mum could not always remember my name and relationships were tricky things, but she always knew me and her face lit up every time she saw me.
When my husband was given his diagnosis almost five years ago, the geriatrician told him he had 'a little bit of Alzheimer's ' and I think my OH found it so much easier to deal with. I figured the geriatrician had the experience to know what he was doing so took my cue from him.
I hope that you and your family get all the help you need and that things settle down for you.
I hope that you and your family get all the help you need and that things settle down for you.
hello @Jdc4877
a warm welcome from me too
you've come to exactly the right place to 'get it all out' as members here understand and will be supportive
your dad has got it right with his comments, my key priority was to have my dad as calm and settled as possible and a few not whole truths and 'love lies' helped with that
take some time to breathe, then begin to think of what can be put in place to help your family, and post with anything that's on your mind
a warm welcome from me too
you've come to exactly the right place to 'get it all out' as members here understand and will be supportive
your dad has got it right with his comments, my key priority was to have my dad as calm and settled as possible and a few not whole truths and 'love lies' helped with that
take some time to breathe, then begin to think of what can be put in place to help your family, and post with anything that's on your mind
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