Hi, I've joined this site as my father has Alzheimers. He moved into a home in March but they were unable to deal with him as his behaviour became quite challenging. We found somewhere else which has been brilliant but unfortunately he has become very aggressive at times and the home are no longer able to look after him. When he is in his good moods he is the sweetest man, funny, cheeky, happy but the 'other side' is not so great. Just a long shot but wondered if anyone had any ideas/experience on finding a home for someone who can present this side of alzheimers. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
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- Thread starter coast
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Hiya Coast.
I am unable to help in your particular enquiry but I am pleased you found your way onto this site where you will find someone who can help.
At this time, I am actively engaged in seeking a home for my wife who also exhibits challenging behaviour from time to time.
The carers that visit my home seem to be unable to handle the behaviour, even though it lasts only short while, say 30 minutes or so.
As a reult of this, I was advised that a very mild sedative would help and, reluctant as I was to administer even more medication to my wife,I must admit that the change has been very noticeable over the last three months or so.
I am unable to help in your particular enquiry but I am pleased you found your way onto this site where you will find someone who can help.
At this time, I am actively engaged in seeking a home for my wife who also exhibits challenging behaviour from time to time.
The carers that visit my home seem to be unable to handle the behaviour, even though it lasts only short while, say 30 minutes or so.
As a reult of this, I was advised that a very mild sedative would help and, reluctant as I was to administer even more medication to my wife,I must admit that the change has been very noticeable over the last three months or so.
Hi Coast
This is something that bothers me too. Mum is manageable at the moment in her care home, but only just. I can imagine that before long she well be turfed out, and another search will begin, and of course she is self-funding so that will raise other issues.
Love
Margaret
This is something that bothers me too. Mum is manageable at the moment in her care home, but only just. I can imagine that before long she well be turfed out, and another search will begin, and of course she is self-funding so that will raise other issues.
Love
Margaret
Thanks
Hi, thanks for your responses, I'm glad I've found this forum as immediately you realise you're not alone. Sorry to hear you're experiencing this too.
Dad has been given a combination of sedative and sleeping tablets - he's hardly slept in the last few months,the sundowning and into the night seem to be the biggest problem times for his aggressive behaviour. The trouble is we've tried various combinations of tablets which we hate doing, but they don't seem to really help anyway and bar sedating him heavily which we are not prepared to do that avenue doesn't seem to be working unfortunately. The real difficulty is at these times (as you'll know) there is absolutely no reasoning with him. He's taken to dragging other residents out of their beds as he believes it's his brother or his son and he needs to get them to work/school and nothing you can do will stop him and obviously this is dangerous to the other residents thus the home has no choice but to ask us to move him.
Unfortunately we've now hit a bit of a brick wall but we can't believe, as this behaviour is a common result of alzheimers that there aren't places more geared for dealing with this. My brother had been looking after him and then I had him with me for a while but sadly it was just too much for us and now with the aggression as well, (I have a 7 yr old and 7 wk old twins) a suitable home really is our only option. The search continues...........thanks for listening!
Hi, thanks for your responses, I'm glad I've found this forum as immediately you realise you're not alone. Sorry to hear you're experiencing this too.
Dad has been given a combination of sedative and sleeping tablets - he's hardly slept in the last few months,the sundowning and into the night seem to be the biggest problem times for his aggressive behaviour. The trouble is we've tried various combinations of tablets which we hate doing, but they don't seem to really help anyway and bar sedating him heavily which we are not prepared to do that avenue doesn't seem to be working unfortunately. The real difficulty is at these times (as you'll know) there is absolutely no reasoning with him. He's taken to dragging other residents out of their beds as he believes it's his brother or his son and he needs to get them to work/school and nothing you can do will stop him and obviously this is dangerous to the other residents thus the home has no choice but to ask us to move him.
Unfortunately we've now hit a bit of a brick wall but we can't believe, as this behaviour is a common result of alzheimers that there aren't places more geared for dealing with this. My brother had been looking after him and then I had him with me for a while but sadly it was just too much for us and now with the aggression as well, (I have a 7 yr old and 7 wk old twins) a suitable home really is our only option. The search continues...........thanks for listening!
I wish you luck Coast.
My husband has periods of sundowning which now seem to start much later, at around 10pm. He becomes very restless and starts opening and closing drawers and cupboards, sorting out his clothes. But there is no aggression and I do sympathize with you.
My husband has periods of sundowning which now seem to start much later, at around 10pm. He becomes very restless and starts opening and closing drawers and cupboards, sorting out his clothes. But there is no aggression and I do sympathize with you.
Hello Coast, have you checked the website of the Commission for Social Care Inspection, otherwise known as CSCI (or fondly, See Sky?) They regulate care homes and inspect them. Their visit reports are available on the CSCI website and they now have started grading homes with star gradings. You can search for a home on the CSCI website , by name, by service, and by area or distance from a post code. You don't say if your dad is in a home with nursing or whether his care home is just residential. Either way it sounds as if you need to be looking for a home which caters for people with dementia , i.e EMI ( Elderly Mentally Infirm) registered. The address to go to is www.csci.gov.uk
Hello Coast and a warm welcome to Talking Point.
It might be worth contacting the Alzheimer's Society national helpline, as they have access to a database of registered care homes. They could send you a list of homes that provide care for people with dementia who present with challenging behaviour. The helpline can also provide guidance around things to consider when choosing a home.
The helpline number is 0845 3000 336, and it is usually open Monday - Friday between 8.30 am and 6.30 pm.
Best of luck,
Katherine
It might be worth contacting the Alzheimer's Society national helpline, as they have access to a database of registered care homes. They could send you a list of homes that provide care for people with dementia who present with challenging behaviour. The helpline can also provide guidance around things to consider when choosing a home.
The helpline number is 0845 3000 336, and it is usually open Monday - Friday between 8.30 am and 6.30 pm.
Best of luck,
Katherine
Hi Coast,
We are having the same problem. My dad who has LBD has been having more frequent agressive outbursts. He is in a EMI placement and as they have a dedicated dementia floor we thought they would be able to cope but apparently not. Even though he is dosed up to the eyeballs! They have even started giving him sleeping pills as he wanders during the night. Like your dad he is heavily sedated and yet they still can't cope with him.
Exactly my sentiments. It makes me angry that these homes are all accommodating when they think they have an 'easy' resident who brings them in a nice income! Unfortunately they don't say "the placement is only safe until things get difficult for them and they might actually have to put in place what they profess to do in the blurb!! I do hope that you can find a place for your dad that can cope with him and if you do tell me!
TrichX
We are having the same problem. My dad who has LBD has been having more frequent agressive outbursts. He is in a EMI placement and as they have a dedicated dementia floor we thought they would be able to cope but apparently not. Even though he is dosed up to the eyeballs! They have even started giving him sleeping pills as he wanders during the night. Like your dad he is heavily sedated and yet they still can't cope with him.
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as this behaviour is a common result of alzheimers that there aren't places more geared for dealing with this.TrichX
Hi, life with twins has been very hectic so not been on the forum for a while. Thanks for all your postings.
When we started looking for a home we got a list from the alzheimers society and checked out the CSCI reports. However as you say even if you go for EMI homes we've begun to realise this umbrella name covers a very broad range of homes and yes unfortunately some only want the 'easy' residents. The first home he was in only managed him for a week! The second 5 months and to be honest I can't fault them they did their best for dad.
The good news is we have found him a new home and he has been there about a month now and it looks like they will be able to look after him. It was my brothers idea to contact Dad's CPN and she recommended a couple of homes to us. One of them really was a last resort as I couldn't imagine my dad living there so we went to see the other one and must admit we came out thinking it looked great but we couldn't see how they would be able to manage dad where the other homes haven't. However they have been just brilliant, after a baptism of fire where they had to call the police the first night to calm dad's aggressive behaviour down they have dealt with everything he's thrown at them.
I thought his second home was very good but the staff here seem to be on another level, very knowledgeable, efficient, organised. They really are caring for Dad and trying to sort out his medication to help him have the best quality of life he can at the mo. As Dad is still not sleeping more than a couple of hours a night and this is when his aggressive behaviour generally presents itself we have agreed to paying for an extra member of staff to be with him one on one. But I actually feel really OK about this as it means he is being looked after and that member of staff is there to be with him only so not being too stretched trying to look after other patients as well and therefore potentially not dealing with his behaviour in the best way. However when I discussed this with the home manager she had alreay applied for help with funding for this extra staffing and has been really helpful in the advice she's given generally.
So fingers crossed we have found the right place for dad and he is there to stay. So to anyone in a similar situation I would suggest contacting your relatives Psychiatrist or CPN for advise on the best home to treat their needs. Be prepared it may not be the one you prefer, I know from experience as the one I chose in the first place is very different from the one he is in now. Be extremely honest about all their behaviour so you (hopefully?!)end up in the right home first time. We were with Dad but unfortunately we couldn't predict the imsomnia that has materialised and therefore exacerbated his aggressive behaviour and moving homes is obviously very stressful for him.
Anyway I must try and get some sleep before the babies wake for another feed.
Coast x
When we started looking for a home we got a list from the alzheimers society and checked out the CSCI reports. However as you say even if you go for EMI homes we've begun to realise this umbrella name covers a very broad range of homes and yes unfortunately some only want the 'easy' residents. The first home he was in only managed him for a week! The second 5 months and to be honest I can't fault them they did their best for dad.
The good news is we have found him a new home and he has been there about a month now and it looks like they will be able to look after him. It was my brothers idea to contact Dad's CPN and she recommended a couple of homes to us. One of them really was a last resort as I couldn't imagine my dad living there so we went to see the other one and must admit we came out thinking it looked great but we couldn't see how they would be able to manage dad where the other homes haven't. However they have been just brilliant, after a baptism of fire where they had to call the police the first night to calm dad's aggressive behaviour down they have dealt with everything he's thrown at them.
I thought his second home was very good but the staff here seem to be on another level, very knowledgeable, efficient, organised. They really are caring for Dad and trying to sort out his medication to help him have the best quality of life he can at the mo. As Dad is still not sleeping more than a couple of hours a night and this is when his aggressive behaviour generally presents itself we have agreed to paying for an extra member of staff to be with him one on one. But I actually feel really OK about this as it means he is being looked after and that member of staff is there to be with him only so not being too stretched trying to look after other patients as well and therefore potentially not dealing with his behaviour in the best way. However when I discussed this with the home manager she had alreay applied for help with funding for this extra staffing and has been really helpful in the advice she's given generally.
So fingers crossed we have found the right place for dad and he is there to stay. So to anyone in a similar situation I would suggest contacting your relatives Psychiatrist or CPN for advise on the best home to treat their needs. Be prepared it may not be the one you prefer, I know from experience as the one I chose in the first place is very different from the one he is in now. Be extremely honest about all their behaviour so you (hopefully?!)end up in the right home first time. We were with Dad but unfortunately we couldn't predict the imsomnia that has materialised and therefore exacerbated his aggressive behaviour and moving homes is obviously very stressful for him.
Anyway I must try and get some sleep before the babies wake for another feed.
Coast x
Hi
I'm glad you've found the right home for your Dad. My Mum isn't aggressive at the moment, but I'm going to take the advice of contacting the CPN for assistance with help in finding the right place for my Mum.
I do hope you and your family are well, you must be exhausted. Although my god daughter has just had a baby and just holding him and watching him sleep in your arms can be quite relaxing, probably not the same for you, as their your own, so lots of hard work.
Lanie
I'm glad you've found the right home for your Dad. My Mum isn't aggressive at the moment, but I'm going to take the advice of contacting the CPN for assistance with help in finding the right place for my Mum.
I do hope you and your family are well, you must be exhausted. Although my god daughter has just had a baby and just holding him and watching him sleep in your arms can be quite relaxing, probably not the same for you, as their your own, so lots of hard work.
Lanie
Thanks Lanie, the babies and my 7 year old keep me positive and keep me smiling! Tiring yes but worth every minute and they only woke for one feed in the night - hooray! Also lovely to see Dad's happy face when he sees them, every time we visit it's like he's seeing them for the first time. Although last time he got it in his head that he had to look after them and started to get a bit stressed about how he was going to look after them at 78, but hopefully that won't happen every time...? Good luck with finding the right place for your mum.
Coast x
Coast x
Isn't it good that new babies can bring us so much joy, there is something very special about a new life. I'm glad in amongst all that your going through, you find all your children keep you smiling and positive. Also that they bring joy to your Dad each time he sees them.
Lanie
Lanie
