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New to this Forum. Mum in early stages Alzheimer...

Angel Heart

New member
Feb 22, 2020
Hi there,

Luckily, Mum and I are very close both emotionally and logistically and I am Mum’s part-time carer.

My challenge is that despite popping in on her several times a week, I’m also full-time shift worker and newly married!

I know that sadly, Mum’s condition will worsen one day and I’ve spoken to her about my trying to keep her as independent as possible for as long as possible but that one day I may need to bring on board an extra carer other than me.

Mum currently has district nurses go in on mornings to give meds (unless I’m taking her to medical appts before work), in which case I’ll do this.

I’m fortunate that every six weeks a family friend will look after Mum for a week - a fortnight, to give me some respite but I’m now juggling a demanding senior colleague in my day job (concierge/receptionist) and we have a high staff turnover so it’s so hard.

I’m sorry this post is so long! My husband and I Visited a local nursing home but the fees were £1,200 wkly which I cannot afford and due to Mum’s savings we cannot get support although I read somewhere that If somebody has Alzheimer’s and other complex medical issues (in Mum’s case also breast cancer and heart failure to name a few) that they should assess the medical needs first but when I raise this, I’m fobbed off.

I’m now at a point where at best I have £100 spare a month but this would only cover 4 hrs care a week.

Please could you kindly share if you’ve been in a similar situation and how you coped/or got round getting extra support?

I come from a very small family so I only really have our family friend to support me and my husband is in a difficult situation as although he emotionally supports me, his Mum has Parkinson’s, so I feel very isolated much of the time, so thought I’d post on this forum.

Thank you.


Volunteer Host
Nov 6, 2008
Hello @Angel Heart and welcome to DTP
it is not your responsibility to pay for your mum’s care if she has savings over 23,000 she will pay otherwise SS will pay..
Ive put a link to an Alzheimer’s fact sheet on paying for care I hope this helps
I hope now you have found the forum you will continue to post it’s an informative and supportive forum

Angel Heart

New member
Feb 22, 2020
Thank you so much Nellbelles. I know I shouldn’t be paying but I guess I’m so keen to get it set up it’s difficult setting up bank meetings outside of my odd shift patterns. My workplace is 12 miles away from Mum. I know you are right though and will try to sort this. I’ve been contacted by the welfare dept at the local council who are going to see if Mum is entitled to any further benefits and I’m also hoping to speak to Age UK this week re any possible support with a sitter service. Mum’s been in and out of A & E four times since Christmas Eve. Touch wood, she’s been ok the past three weeks or so but she’s been getting profuse nosebleeds which has been a worry as she’s on warfarin for heart condition. She was good and knew how to deal with the nosebleed but unfortunately sometimes she’d eventually forget for a moment and take the tissue away! So this has sped up me wanting to look into extra support in case it happens in the future and I’m not there to help Mum e.g if I’m at work. So worried right now and sleep deprived. Husband tries to be supportive but sometimes loses patience and gets exasperated and we end up arguing. :-( we usually get on well but when this happens it is lonely.

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