New to this forum and need some help


Registered User
Dec 29, 2006
My Grandma has been diagnosed with dementia - we had our concerns for a good six months and on 16 December it was confirmed after an assessment. Sadly a few days after this my Grandad died.

They were both still living at home and we were able to cope with the care with the help of various carers and family. But now that my Grandad has gone we are having to consider other options. One of my uncles still lives with them but obviously he will have to return to work at some point. Our problem is deciding what the best type of care for her is. She is still aware of who we all are, although has forgotten several times that our Grandad has gone. As one of my uncles still lives there we are slightly hestitant about putting her into a care home as she still aware of her surroundings and he is around in the evenings and weekends anyway.

One idea was to see if there were any day care centres that she could go to during the day whilst my uncle is at work and then can return home in the evenings and at weekends. Does anyone know if this is possible? We live in Hertfordshire.

Many thanks in advance.


Registered User
Dec 1, 2006
First question. Does your uncle want to be the main carer for your relative? If yes, and he understands the responsibilities, then it should be possible for a suitable care package to be designed to help in this role and to give him scope to carry on working, depending on your grandma's needs. The best thing to do, and do it today, is to contact the Social Services in the area where your grandma lives and tell them that your grandma needs a Community Care Assessment urgently. They have a statutory responsibility to assess the care needs of elderly people in their area, and your grandma's situation is urgent. They should call on any relevant care professionals, including the GP and anyone else who has had input into her care so far to assess what her needs NOW are and how best to meet them. It would help also if you spoke to your Grandma's GP today to ask if they can prompt an early CCA. No one should be left unaware that your Grandma's needs have to be assessed asap because of your Grandpa's death and her recent diagnosis. But remember that your uncle should be the first person to have input about how she is cared for.

If your uncle is reluctant to carry the prime responsibility for your Grandma. (Remember dementia doesn't stop at 5pm when she comes home from the day centre. It will begin to take over your uncle's life and he may not be prepared to face this, understandably) then the Community Care Assessment should reflect this and there will be a recommendation either for EMI residential or EMI nursing care. Depending on your Grandma's finances, either the SS will sort out a placement or she will be expected to fund her own care. ( Unless she qualifies for fully funded NHS nursing care, which doesn't sound likely at this stage.) You can find out more about financial thresholds on this site. Sorry, I don't have the link to hand.


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
Just like to say welcome :)

Can't add anymore better advice then Deborah has already given , just let us know how you get on with it all , as I know how
Overwhelming it all can be xx

Good advice I got from Amy the moderator was to write down a check list in what you need to do
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