New to this and just wanting a little moral support i suppose

Rach R

Registered User
Mar 23, 2012
14
0
Hi as the title says I'm new to all this. My mum is about to be diagnosed ( April 18th we see a consultant) with some type of dementia. Origionaly my brother went to my mum's dr before Christmas to talk to him about mum and the Dr then got my mum in by saying she needed to come in for 'routine' tests. So far we have had very good support from a mental health nurse who came round and did the mini mental test - my mum 'scored' 17 and since then she has had a CT scan and a nurse going round each week just to chat to her. She is also trying to arrange for her to be assessed 'in house' for a day - not sure that my mum will go though. My mum is completely convinced there is nothinig wrong with her (apart from not remembering things occasionally)so trying to get help for her is difficult. Things were really brought home to me last week when the nurse called to say they could smell gas and my mum was completely oblious to this. So we've had to change her gas hob to a new one that automatically cuts out if the flame goes out. this was a really hard thing to do as mum was totally against it and couldn't see a problem at all as she was now "checking it all the time". I wanted to cry when i had to tell her she had no choice as she smokes and lives in a very built up area. I'm scared of her being told what is wrong with her but feel she needs to know. My mum lives on her own but my brother is only round the corner but it feels like things are only going to get worse and i feel so bad but i can't go round everyday as i work full time and have 3 children. i phone her everyday and try to meet her for in my dinner hour - we go to a local pub for lunch evry couple of weeks.
Anybody who can offer any support would be much appreciated!
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,445
0
Kent
Hello Rach

When my mother developed dementia , we found she had lost her sense of smell. The same happened to my husband. Both of them were unable to smell toast burning, which is a really strong smell.
It might have been a coincidence that they both lost their sense of smell but it did make me wonder how many people with dementia are affected this way. It could explain many accidents in the home.
Perhaps it could me mentioned to your mother`s doctor.

Why is the nurse calling to see your mother? Do you think she could help her to accept some additional care?
 

Rach R

Registered User
Mar 23, 2012
14
0
When my mother developed dementia , we found she had lost her sense of smell. The same happened to my husband. Both of them were unable to smell toast burning, which is a really strong smell.
It might have been a coincidence that they both lost their sense of smell but it did make me wonder how many people with dementia are affected this way. It could explain many accidents in the home.
Perhaps it could me mentioned to your mother`s doctor.

Why is the nurse calling to see your mother? Do you think she could help her to accept some additional care?

It wasn't just that she couldn't smell i think it was also the lack of understanding when the nurse was trying to explain as well. I'm not sure exactly why the nurse is going in, i think it's because they feel my mum is lonely and a bit depressed (we lost my dad after he'd been ill for a couple of years 2 years ago and my mum hasn't really been right since). She doesn't go in a uniform and just has a chat with her and they have a bit of a laugh according to mum! My mum still gets around and cooks for herself and cleans etc so i don't think she needs that kind of help yet but even so would be absolutely horrified and sure that she doesn't need help! At the moment she forgets thing constantly, loses things, has accused my brother of taking money, photos, a door(?) and taking her to the wrong clinic for a blood test! If you didn't know anything was wrong she does sounds very convincing. My brother and i were very relieved when all the tv's went digital last year as she would get really worried about what would happen - even thought she has cable and so has been digital for ages. We would get phone calls constantly about it lol!
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,445
0
Kent
It sounds like the nurse has been asked to keep an eye on your mum. It must be felt she needs it , as this type of support, however informal it seems to your mum, sounds a bit like care in the community.

It might help if you had some contact with the nurse so you could share information.
 

Rach R

Registered User
Mar 23, 2012
14
0
It sounds like the nurse has been asked to keep an eye on your mum. It must be felt she needs it , as this type of support, however informal it seems to your mum, sounds a bit like care in the community.

It might help if you had some contact with the nurse so you could share information.

the origional nurse who did her test is very good and calls me to let me know of any problem they may have noticed or to update me on anything they are thinking of doing, i also call her to let her know of any concerns we may have. I think we are quite lucky to have this but not sure how ling it will continue. My mum has on a couple of occasions threatened suicide as she can't always cope and gets anxious so again that may be a reason for the continued care.
 

CollegeGirl

Registered User
Jan 19, 2011
9,525
0
North East England
Hi Rach, just wanted to say welcome to TP and I hope you find lots of support here, as I have done. I'm on a very steep learning curve as they say, still wouldn't like to call myself experienced, can't offer much in the way of advice but am here as a shoulder if you or anyone else needs it and can certainly offer moral support by the bucket loads!

This forum is really great for getting things off your chest and you can speak freely and ask any questions, however daft they may seem to you, you won't be the only one wondering about whatever it is, believe me. We're all in the same boat, just some of us are further along than others.

Keep posting and I'm sure you'll get lots of help. Take care xx
 

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