New to the site and need some help or advice. Thanks

[Ian G]

I have cared for my Father who has passed and am now involved in caring for my Aunt. She is in at least stage 2 and progressing quickly. I need some ideas on how to get her to eat something. The only thing she will eat is a bowl of strawberry's and this is not sufficient for her on a daily basis. She has drastically lost weight and is continuing. Must be around 7 stone at most. I have tried supplement drinks and she refuses.

Any ideas would be gratefully accepted and if you need to know anything please just ask

Thanks Ian

 

[lilysmybabypup]

Hi and welcome, what a wonderful thing you're doing, it can't be easy going through it all over again.
This is quite common and it gets to the point where you just throw out every idea you have about nutrition. At this point it's all about calories, getting the highest amount in by any means. If she only wants strawberries, then maybe make a rich custard or strawberry pudding, add some cream and ice-cream, it doesn't matter that she's off the savoury foods, that's what often happens.
If you can get some small amount of main meal foods, bulk them up with creamy sauces to add calories. If she drinks tea, add extra milk in the form of full cream powdered milk as well, try and find any sweet cakes or biscuits that might appeal, strawberry smoothies made with yoghurt and full cream milk. Anything that is eaten equals weight and calories.
Stephanie, xxx

 

[FifiMo]

Hiya Ian,

You might find that your aunt's tastes have changed and she now has a preference for sweet things. This happens a lot. Will she take strawberries with cream? More calories that way. How about strawberry jelly? You can get a jelly, melt it in small amount of water, eg not the full pint. Add a can of evaporated milk and a few strawberries and let it set. Home made custard can hide calories by adding cream, so can things like rice puddings and bread and butter pudding. Milk shakes can be good too. Provided she doesn't have diabetes, then just test what she will eat. On the savoury side, the saviour is mashed potato. You can add butter and cream and even an egg to it, then serve it with some tasty gravy...hard for most to resist.

Unless there are medical reasons, then give her what she wants but pile in the calories where you can. Maybe also think 'child' and use her favourite strawberries to persuade her to have a couple of spoons of something else first. Also have someone check her mouth to make sure she hasn't got thrush, or I'll fitting dentures etc as these can be painful and stop someone from eating. If all else fails, maybe ask for a referral to a dietician.

Fiona

 

[Andie]

Hi Ian

I also struggle to get my mother to eat. I have found her taste buds have changed, where she once hated sweet stuff now she prefers it to savoury. I find it best to give food she can pick up with her fingers and have found that she eats better when we are out.
I hope your Aunts appetite picks up

Andie

 

[Ian G]

A quick thankyou to you all for your advice.

Hiya there everyone,

thank you all for your input and i'm sure they'll come in handy. Its my turn with her tomorrow so ill give some of them a go.

Thanks again, your help is much appreciated

Ian

 

[deevee]

51 year old sister has dementia, no help

Hi, I am new to this site. My sister is 51 and has lived with me and my family for over 2years now. She has went from getting lost once in a while to not knowing what day, month or her own birthday. She knows people but cannot form sentences or do any daily tasks what so ever. She gets up all night long calling my name for help, only to say she does not know what she needs help for.

No sort of anxiety meds or sleeping pills seem to help. Most doctors wanted to treat her as depressed, but with MRI's revealing brain shrinkage, they had to concede what I felt was a form of dementia all along. Along with this, no state care or county services will assist me b/c of her age and the fact that at one time she was depressed, even with the new proof from reputable hospitals and doctors.

I love my sister, but the constant 24/7 strain of her following me around, saying my name and wanting me to do everything for her, from bathing to dressing her is making me go crazy. the only help I have is my 84 yr. old father and his wife, but its just too difficult for them to deal with it for more than a day or so.

Anyone out there with similar problems? I seem to only read about people whos loved ones are forgetful or need assistance, I don't hear that its driving anyone crazy. Am I selfish?

Help! also..anyone know how to deal with all the red tape?

deevee

 

[KentJude]

Hi Ian, I echo what other posters have said, and attach a link to the Alzheimer's society factsheet on eating and drinking which will hopefully help you.

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=149

My mother also is much more enthusiastic about desserts than savoury foods. She has a big bowl of porridge with raspberries and cream with sometimes ground almonds, honey, wheatgerm, ice cream, or a variation of that and it goes down well. Your aunt could enjoy a strawberry version maybe.

Good luck and keep posting.

Jude

 

[lilysmybabypup]

Hi, I am new to this site. My sister is 51 and has lived with me and my family for over 2years now. She has went from getting lost once in a while to not knowing what day, month or her own birthday. She knows people but cannot form sentences or do any daily tasks what so ever. She gets up all night long calling my name for help, only to say she does not know what she needs help for.

No sort of anxiety meds or sleeping pills seem to help. Most doctors wanted to treat her as depressed, but with MRI's revealing brain shrinkage, they had to concede what I felt was a form of dementia all along. Along with this, no state care or county services will assist me b/c of her age and the fact that at one time she was depressed, even with the new proof from reputable hospitals and doctors.

I love my sister, but the constant 24/7 strain of her following me around, saying my name and wanting me to do everything for her, from bathing to dressing her is making me go crazy. the only help I have is my 84 yr. old father and his wife, but its just too difficult for them to deal with it for more than a day or so.

Anyone out there with similar problems? I seem to only read about people whos loved ones are forgetful or need assistance, I don't hear that its driving anyone crazy. Am I selfish?

Help! also..anyone know how to deal with all the red tape?

deevee

Hi deevee, I'm so sorry you're in this situation. I think you will get more replies if you start your own thread and copy this into it. You can go to the section "I care for someone with dementia", and start your own topic. Lots of people will see it that way.
Stephanie, xxx

 

[Austinsmum]

Hi, I am new to this site. My sister is 51 and has lived with me and my family for over 2years now. She has went from getting lost once in a while to not knowing what day, month or her own birthday. She knows people but cannot form sentences or do any daily tasks what so ever. She gets up all night long calling my name for help, only to say she does not know what she needs help for.

No sort of anxiety meds or sleeping pills seem to help. Most doctors wanted to treat her as depressed, but with MRI's revealing brain shrinkage, they had to concede what I felt was a form of dementia all along. Along with this, no state care or county services will assist me b/c of her age and the fact that at one time she was depressed, even with the new proof from reputable hospitals and doctors.

I love my sister, but the constant 24/7 strain of her following me around, saying my name and wanting me to do everything for her, from bathing to dressing her is making me go crazy. the only help I have is my 84 yr. old father and his wife, but its just too difficult for them to deal with it for more than a day or so.

Anyone out there with similar problems? I seem to only read about people whos loved ones are forgetful or need assistance, I don't hear that its driving anyone crazy. Am I selfish?

Help! also..anyone know how to deal with all the red tape?

deevee

deevee, are you in the US? If so I can’t comment on what help there is there for you re the red tape. However, I totally get where you’re coming from with your sister. My mum is exactly the same and it’s driving us all insane. We had a recent visit from the community psychiatric nurse (CPN) and she immediately said we need emergency respite - 6 weeks! - asap. Also, as a family we are starting to feel so resentful to my brother who absolutely will not pull his weight - too busy having holidays So, sorry not much help but honestly you are quite normal to feel angry and agitated. Carer breakdown is a VERY real issue. Hugs. X

 

[Dafydd]

Lost my wife to Alzheimers.

Hi, I am new to this site. My sister is 51 and has lived with me and my family for over 2years now. She has went from getting lost once in a while to not knowing what day, month or her own birthday. She knows people but cannot form sentences or do any daily tasks what so ever. She gets up all night long calling my name for help, only to say she does not know what she needs help for.

No sort of anxiety meds or sleeping pills seem to help. Most doctors wanted to treat her as depressed, but with MRI's revealing brain shrinkage, they had to concede what I felt was a form of dementia all along. Along with this, no state care or county services will assist me b/c of her age and the fact that at one time she was depressed, even with the new proof from reputable hospitals and doctors.

I love my sister, but the constant 24/7 strain of her following me around, saying my name and wanting me to do everything for her, from bathing to dressing her is making me go crazy. the only help I have is my 84 yr. old father and his wife, but its just too difficult for them to deal with it for more than a day or so.

Anyone out there with similar problems? I seem to only read about people whos loved ones are forgetful or need assistance, I don't hear that its driving anyone crazy. Am I selfish?

Help! also..anyone know how to deal with all the red tape?

deevee

Hello Deevee,

Trust me, you are not alone in this situation! You may not realise it, but you are doing a fantastic job of looking after your sister. My wife was similar to your sister in that she would only use one word statements instead of sentences & forget what day it was! I also had to wash, dress, brush her teeth & apply her make-up.
I don,t know where you live but you must contact your local CAB, Age uk, British Red Cross, Crossroads, WRVS & your local council & tell them that you can no longer cope & demand they help you! You need respite & finacial help to continue looking after your sister.
Believe me Deevee, I have been there & I know what you are going through! Don,t be hard on yourself. You are doing a great job, but you must insist on getting help! I wish I had acted earlier before I received help!
I hope this helps!

Best wishes,

Dafydd.