• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can be found in our area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

New to home caring

Laura-Beth91

New member
Jun 2, 2021
3
0
Hi!
My partners grandad recently moved home (well, was made to move) after his 91 year old partner was unable to cope with his Dementia anymore. The change of circumstances has been very distressing for him and we are in the process of arranging carers ect, in the mean time his brother is the main 24/7 carer, as H isn't really safe to be left alone.

I am a nurse and a previous domiciliary carer but nothing could ever prepare me for a 48 hour stint with H!

Caring for someone you care about is so much different to working in the profession and I must admit I stepped away feeling very upset! However, I could not stop the guilt of feeling like this as he is not my nuclear family but I want to support my partner and his Mum (H's daughter) through this.

I fear I run this risk of over stepping the mark considering my career because I want to try and get things pushed a little quicker so that everyone is less stressed an anxious and H can be kept safe.

Has anyone else had any experiences like this one?

Laura
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
4,407
0
Southampton
Hi!
My partners grandad recently moved home (well, was made to move) after his 91 year old partner was unable to cope with his Dementia anymore. The change of circumstances has been very distressing for him and we are in the process of arranging carers ect, in the mean time his brother is the main 24/7 carer, as H isn't really safe to be left alone.

I am a nurse and a previous domiciliary carer but nothing could ever prepare me for a 48 hour stint with H!

Caring for someone you care about is so much different to working in the profession and I must admit I stepped away feeling very upset! However, I could not stop the guilt of feeling like this as he is not my nuclear family but I want to support my partner and his Mum (H's daughter) through this.

I fear I run this risk of over stepping the mark considering my career because I want to try and get things pushed a little quicker so that everyone is less stressed an anxious and H can be kept safe.

Has anyone else had any experiences like this one?

Laura
you have more emotional investment in caring for H. there isnt an end of shift and wind down knowing its not your responsibility when the shift ends
 

AwayWithTheFairies

Registered User
Apr 21, 2021
141
0
I can’t imagine how you feel to be honest, it must be very difficult!

I wonder if you can frame it in your mind and to others that the things they need to do are FOR H, not TO him. You may actually be a voice of reason and calm because you can at least imagine how to be more detached, that will be a resource that most families don’t have. And that care and safety for H now trump what H appears to want in any given moment.
 

Laura-Beth91

New member
Jun 2, 2021
3
0
I can’t imagine how you feel to be honest, it must be very difficult!

I wonder if you can frame it in your mind and to others that the things they need to do are FOR H, not TO him. You may actually be a voice of reason and calm because you can at least imagine how to be more detached, that will be a resource that most families don’t have. And that care and safety for H now trump what H appears to want in any given moment.
I think I may possibly add a more practical stance as I have been able to support and advise everyone and make it known that I am available to support whenever.
I never thought of it in the way as they are for and not TO as dealing with his responses made it feel like it was TO, if that makes sense.
I guess it's early days and I know myself that these things take time.
Thanks for your responses :)
 

Members online

No members online now.

Forum statistics

Threads
119,446
Messages
1,749,957
Members
70,354
Latest member
Molly94