1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. Dave2420

    Dave2420 Registered User

    Sep 5, 2015
    2
    nottingham
    Wife just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's consultant says mid.any help would be appreciated
     
  2. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    10,658
    North West
    Welcome to TP Dave. I'm sorry you've had to come here but you have come to the right place for help. When I joined I found that just having a look at current posts I would often come across useful information. Now that you've introduced yourself, if you have some specific questions after the diagnosis why not start your own thread here:

    http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/newthread.php?do=newthread&f=69
     
  3. woodbrooklabs

    woodbrooklabs Registered User

    Aug 17, 2015
    45
    Hi Dave, sorry to hear about your wife. Its a hard thing to deal with.

    I am trying to get a diagnosis at present for my dad. I feel some of the things he is having trouble with are consistent with mid stage Alzheimers, though other things he is still good with, like speaking, language etc.

    Would you mind giving me an idea of what your wife is having difficulties with and how a diagnosis was obtained?

    This is all a learning curve for me. I've never been close with my dad but I am the only person around that can try and help him. He is in complete denial but is starting to realise something isn't quite right, though will not admit it.
     
  4. lin1

    lin1 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2010
    9,322
    Female
    East Kent
    Hello Dave. I'm sorry to hear about your wife, but glad you have found TP.
    Even though you know something was very wrong before, it can still come as a shock when your first told your wife has some type of dementia.

    Feel free to as questions , we will do our best to help.
     
  5. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,783
    Salford
    Hi Dave. welcome to TP
    No two stories on here play out the same. The best thing to do is read around and see what you can take away from things said previously then come back with any questions you have.
    My wife was diagnosed mid 50's which makes us in the "younger" age group, I've had to give up work to care for her, all of our situations are different.
    I think it helps if you put in a rough location as different things are available in different areas, Wales and Scotland have different rules in some area.
    Welcome to the club.
    K
     
  6. Dave2420

    Dave2420 Registered User

    Sep 5, 2015
    2
    nottingham
    Diagnosis

    Hi my wife thinks she is ok.just forgetting things now and again.

    The truth is getting worse by the week puts clothes on inside out won't go in the shower
    Whets herself then try's to hide her underwear not interested in cleaning herself or the house.
    I could go on all day but I think you get the gist
    Diagnosis
    Doctors first blood test, blood pressure ,mental test failed,put on folic acid tabs.
    Doctors again moor blood tests,referred to sychiatris,3 hour talk and memory test again
    Refers to consultant at queens med cent Nottingham Dr Junaid memorie test again
    Diagnosis Alzheimer's mid term
    Folow up nurse coming today to see how she is doing on tablets
    I hope this helps
    Now got to try and get her out of bed and into the shower before the nurse arrives
    Good luck be persistent with doctors
     
  7. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,578
    Kent
    Hello Dave

    For what it`s worth, don`t try too hard to get everything ship shape before nurses etc come. I understand this is how you would behave under normal circumstances but the circumstances are not normal now.

    Your wife has an illness even if she doesn`t realise it and there is no harm in letting the professionals see just how difficult life is for you now.
     
  8. jaymor

    jaymor Volunteer Moderator

    Jul 14, 2006
    12,491
    Female
    England
    Hi Dave and welcome to Talking Point from me too.

    Grannie G is right, don't break your neck trying to make things look right. If your wife won't get out of bed, a normal behaviour for dementia, then leave her. Let the nurse see what is happening and how your day really is. If she is going to suggest help then she needs to see how your day is.

    The soiled clothes is again quite common but never the less distressing to your wife, who is hiding them and to you because it is alien behaviour from your wife. Please let the nurse know of all your problems, she may not have an answer to all of them but she will know exactely how hard you are working to look after your wife and the best way forward regarding any help available.
     
  9. Alfie1

    Alfie1 Registered User

    Oct 19, 2015
    3
    What to do next... I want to help my wife "shake the tree"

    Hello, I'm new to this. My father-in-law has finally been diagnosed with Alzheimer's after 12-18 months of cancelled appointments, changes in Consultant and unbelievably slow response times. During this time he has deteriorated but I guess we will never know what difference it would have made to have know a year ago. He is only 67 and luckily he is a very bright man (and I suspect he has been affected for many years but has hidden it well by being a copious note taker). Now we are waiting for a formal assessment but the appointment is not for another 6 weeks or so. We want to help him make decisions but feel we are constantly putting off decision making while we await the outcome of one test or another.

    He is still very independant and last week he went abroad to his timeshare on holiday. We got a phone call from a Spanish hospital to say he had had a fall and was very confused (no one knows what happened, least of all him, but he's got stitches in the back of his head). All sorts of silly little things then went wrong (went to get his flight home without his passport, lost his phone etc, etc).

    My wife is pregnant and we also have a toddler and she is understandably getting very distressed. I haven't helped by saying that her and her brother need to take control of the situation and stop continually waiting for other people before something dreadful happens to him.

    So the reason I'm posting on here is that we need to find someone who can help us understand what the short and medium term future is likely to look like for him so that we can make good decisions while we can still have sensible (albeit somewhat laboured) conversations with him about what he would ideally like to happen in certain circumstances; where and how he lives being the real biggies. Understandably this latest incident has scared us.

    I have seen a number of references to paying for an assessment privately but I don't really know who would do this, what we would get or where to start the process. Can anyone give me more info?
     
  10. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,783
    Salford
    Hi Alfie, welcome to TP
    With or without a diagnosis you can contact Social Services and ask them to do an assessment of his needs. I feel he comes into the class of being "a vulnerable adult", they have to do the assessment if you ask for one. They'll look at all the circumstances and if they feel it necessary and be able to advise if what help and benefits are available to pay for it, many of which are means not means tested.
    Even if there's nothing they can do now at least he's on their radar if his condition starts to worsen.
    The other thing while he still has capacity is to get a Power of Attorney in place for his health and finances, this may be a very difficult conversation to have with him it needs to be done so the sooner the better.
    No 2 people with AZ are the same, some people who post on here were diagnosed over a decade ago (16 years in one case I think) others decline quite quickly so there's real way anyone can predict. My wife had to give up work 12 years ago as she could no longer cope with it and although she's incapable of remembering anything or taking care of herself we still get out and about and she still has a reasonable quality of life.
    There's a thread on here "Are you caring for a parent with dementia and caring for children?" (link below) it's today so short notice I'm afraid.
    K
    http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/announcement.php?f=&a=114
     

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