New to all this....

[Poppet1976]

I wonder if someone can give me some advice please? I currently live 50mins drive away from my father. I am his only next of kin and he lives alone. He has his side of the family local (in the same village) but no-one wants to take on the responsibility of him.
He got diagnosed with dementia about a year ago and we have coped really well with quite a few problems. I have no support network and have now come to a point where it is all taking its toll! I have 3 children at home the eldest being 12 and the youngest being 1. I try and visit my dad weekly and also take him to any medical appts, dentists etc as he doesn’t drive.

I could do with knowing my next step? He has been in hosp twice in the last 6 weeks (for 5 days each time) with flu and falling. He has also been diagnosed with emphysema and is currently using an inhaler.
He has now got a water infection and he is completely not on the planet....Which scares me!
I was in touch with Social Services before Christmas as he had forgot to take his medication and eat....it took them 3 weeks to get back to me!!!

Can anyone offer advice? Where to go next?

 

[Tin]

I wonder if someone can give me some advice please? I currently live 50mins drive away from my father. I am his only next of kin and he lives alone. He has his side of the family local (in the same village) but no-one wants to take on the responsibility of him.
He got diagnosed with dementia about a year ago and we have coped really well with quite a few problems. I have no support network and have now come to a point where it is all taking its toll! I have 3 children at home the eldest being 12 and the youngest being 1. I try and visit my dad weekly and also take him to any medical appts, dentists etc as he doesn’t drive.

I could do with knowing my next step? He has been in hosp twice in the last 6 weeks (for 5 days each time) with flu and falling. He has also been diagnosed with emphysema and is currently using an inhaler.
He has now got a water infection and he is completely not on the planet....Which scares me!
I was in touch with Social Services before Christmas as he had forgot to take his medication and eat....it took them 3 weeks to get back to me!!!

Can anyone offer advice? Where to go next?

Have social services got involved yet? He is vulnerable and you need to push this with them. If he is self funding then you could contact a care agency to arrange a few visits each day, if not self funding and you are looking at social services to help with finances then you need to keep pushing.

Although it does sound like he is in need of 24/7 care and that means a care home, again if self funding you could organise this for him.

It is a sad fact, but as the dementia progresses, your options for keeping him at home alone become harder. Take a look at the care home options in his area, you may find somewhere suitable for him and there are waiting lists so his move with not be immediate.

 

[nellbelles]

@Poppet1976
Welcome to TP, you are correct that you cannot carry on like this, either of you.
Ask SS for an needs assessment, maybe carers coming in to assist with medication and food would help the situation at least in the short term.
Please keep posting and asking questions that’s what we are here for.