New phase

pamann

Registered User
Oct 28, 2013
2,635
0
Kent
Thank you truth24 (Verity) l am feeling so nervous as l do not want my hubby going away, but l do have carer's burn out feel completely worn out, need a break from all this Alzheimers. Had 2 days break but today its all back, worse than before, hubby so much worse, l do think that when they are somewhere else they are so much worse
 

truth24

Registered User
Oct 13, 2013
5,725
0
North Somerset
I think it's a reaction to having to make an effort to pretend everything is OK when they away from the familiar and are probably terrified inside. Fred would do this after day care. He would be dropped off and I would get reports of how happy he was that day but he would go straight to his room without speaking to me and be very agitated later in the evening. I think it's only now that I'm realising just how terrified he must have been of everything and it breaks my heart that I couldn't do more to comfort him at the time. I think that may also be why he is so much more contented in his CH after his initial unhappiness when he asked why I didn't want him around any more. He has his allocated lounge, his regular team of carers and familiar faces of other residents. He is well fed and affectionately cared for and seems happy to see me these days. I think his fear has finally left him.

So what I am saying is that, if the worse comes to the worst and he does go to a CH in due course, there is every chance that he will settle down in the same way after an initial period of upset. The problem then is OUR period of adjustment as we get used to a different way of living.

Sorry to have gone on so long but will be thinking of you today.

Sent from my GT-N5110
 
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pamann

Registered User
Oct 28, 2013
2,635
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Kent
Thank you Verity for your advice, l am feeling ok will be glad when today is over, l am a strong person been through a lot in my life, when you are younger l think you can deal with things better. I have lots of support from family and friends, also l play indoor and outdoor bowls which will keep me occupied. Will let you know how l get on today.
 

pamann

Registered User
Oct 28, 2013
2,635
0
Kent
Hello everyone just to let you know, yesterday went well, Dr put hubby on Sertraline, and sleeping pill, what a relieve didn't get up in the night. This is a 3 month trial to see if is helps with OCD, crying, and anxiety. If he is no better we will be referred to SS. Has this anit depressant helped anyone else?
 

chick1962

Registered User
Apr 3, 2014
11,282
0
near Folkestone
Hello everyone just to let you know, yesterday went well, Dr put hubby on Sertraline, and sleeping pill, what a relieve didn't get up in the night. This is a 3 month trial to see if is helps with OCD, crying, and anxiety. If he is no better we will be referred to SS. Has this anit depressant helped anyone else?

Oh such good news for you Pam :) I do hope it will make it more bearable for you and also for your husband. Nothing better than to wake up to happy news xxxxx


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chick1962

Registered User
Apr 3, 2014
11,282
0
near Folkestone
Thank you Heike l do hope it makes him more bearable even if only for a while.

Yes my lovely you could do with a bit of a break , or easier times :) it might also take away hubs fears and keep him calmer . So so pleased for you :) much love to you both xxxx


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pamann

Registered User
Oct 28, 2013
2,635
0
Kent
Hubby has been a little calmer today, l was told the pills would take a week to kick in, this afternoon he has been looking at our wedding photo, telling me he has upset the girl in the photo, he said she was crying last night l have upset her, l want to see her l know she is old, can't convince him thst is me, he must have had a bad dream, l told him when l see her l will tell her all is ok, he said l don't know her, hope tomorrow he will forget about it, maybe these new pills are a side affect any advice?
 

chick1962

Registered User
Apr 3, 2014
11,282
0
near Folkestone
Hubby has been a little calmer today, l was told the pills would take a week to kick in, this afternoon he has been looking at our wedding photo, telling me he has upset the girl in the photo, he said she was crying last night l have upset her, l want to see her l know she is old, can't convince him thst is me, he must have had a bad dream, l told him when l see her l will tell her all is ok, he said l don't know her, hope tomorrow he will forget about it, maybe these new pills are a side affect any advice?

Morning Panamm, not really sure about side affects as my OH can't take any. Think I have read a thread about them having some but I am positive someone will be along who knows. Glad hubs is a bit calmer but it must be still so upsetting for you. Cyber hug send xxx


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pamann

Registered User
Oct 28, 2013
2,635
0
Kent
Morning heike hubby up at 2.30am, he did go to bed at 6.30 so early he told me he had to go because he was ill, l woke him up at 10 gave him sleeping pill, l suppose after 8hrs sleep he had enough, maybe with the light evenings coming he'll go to bed later.
How are you getting on with SS, any luck with respite, l was offered Crossroads, but the trouble is with my hubby he won't stay in has to go out every day, they don't take them out. Hope your day is good.
 

chick1962

Registered User
Apr 3, 2014
11,282
0
near Folkestone
Morning heike hubby up at 2.30am, he did go to bed at 6.30 so early he told me he had to go because he was ill, l woke him up at 10 gave him sleeping pill, l suppose after 8hrs sleep he had enough, maybe with the light evenings coming he'll go to bed later.
How are you getting on with SS, any luck with respite, l was offered Crossroads, but the trouble is with my hubby he won't stay in has to go out every day, they don't take them out. Hope your day is good.

Didn't get any help whatsoever from SS ! Got 3 hours every Monday from Crossroads though :) are you sure they don't take them out? They do with John?! Just has to be in their car for insurance purposes. Carer support were lovely, have you tried them? They do carers assessments now and I had my first one Wednesday :) honestly Pam, they are great xxxx


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pamann

Registered User
Oct 28, 2013
2,635
0
Kent
I have had our name down on their waiting list for 18mths, maybe they take them out now, they didn't, just sitting service, will give them a ring, l am sure hubby would go out with them thank you Heike
 

chick1962

Registered User
Apr 3, 2014
11,282
0
near Folkestone
I have had our name down on their waiting list for 18mths, maybe they take them out now, they didn't, just sitting service, will give them a ring, l am sure hubby would go out with them thank you Heike

Your most welcome Pam :) it's so lovely that we can share our experiences on here and us being in the same region too ! Hope you and your husband have a better day today much love xxx


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truth24

Registered User
Oct 13, 2013
5,725
0
North Somerset
I always found Crossroads excellent too. Fred's carer was a lovely man and the assessment really concentrated on my needs and care. That sounds so selfish but was badly needed at the time.Can't thank them enough.

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pamann

Registered User
Oct 28, 2013
2,635
0
Kent
Hubby refuses to take new tablets this morning, says l am waiting for Pam to come, (me) yesterday it was 12am before he recognised me, he took tablets then 4hrs late, any suggestions.
 

chick1962

Registered User
Apr 3, 2014
11,282
0
near Folkestone
Hubby refuses to take new tablets this morning, says l am waiting for Pam to come, (me) yesterday it was 12am before he recognised me, he took tablets then 4hrs late, any suggestions.

Oh Pam how difficult for you bless :( have not got any advise as it hasent happened to us yet but wanted to let you know we are thinking of you . Hopefully someone be along soon with support ! Hugs to you xxxxx


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pamann

Registered User
Oct 28, 2013
2,635
0
Kent
Thank you chick, hubby gone back to bed
Luckily last Sun we went out for mother's day as today is so busy, we don't like too many people in resturants. Have a lovely day
 

chick1962

Registered User
Apr 3, 2014
11,282
0
near Folkestone
Thank you chick, hubby gone back to bed
Luckily last Sun we went out for mother's day as today is so busy, we don't like too many people in resturants. Have a lovely day

It was very busy Pam wish we didn't go as nobody really talked to us :( was out with younger son and I laws and their son and gf . John did try and chat but as he is a bit slower they just ignored him and talked to the next person. So sad I know they don't mean to but they upset us both :( hope you are having a peaceful day Pam . Much love xxx


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