1. AnnLuncies

    AnnLuncies Registered User

    May 8, 2015
    4
    #1 AnnLuncies, May 8, 2015
    Last edited: May 10, 2015
    Hi I've joined because my Mum has vascular Dementure.She has almost no short term memory & needs help with every aspect of daily life. She lives at the present time in her own home with her long term friend & lodger. but it's getting too much for her friend. and I live 70miles away. How best can I help my Mum get the care she needs in her own home.

    Hi thx for the advice I am already power of attorney for my Mum...I'v been trying for years to get Mum's friend to join Alzheimer's Society, Age UK she kept saying "they were fine & could manage"....Obviously they can't . Mum's friend now want me to sell mum's house and buy Mum a flat in a sheltered housing complex.
    I feel this would be disastrous as Mum's mental state is only stable when she is in her own familiar home
     
  2. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,948
    Female
    Dundee
    Hello and welcome to TP. I'm sorry that your mum has vascular dementia. My mum had that too. I'm glad you found TP. I'm sure you will find the forum very supportive. x
     
  3. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,525
    North East England
    Hello Ann, and a warm welcome from me too. I have found this forum to be a bit of a lifeline on more than one occasion! Do post a little bit more, and of course ask any questions - nothing is too trivial or bizarre to ask and there is a wealth of support here.

    xx
     
  4. AnnLuncies

    AnnLuncies Registered User

    May 8, 2015
    4
    Thx for your welcome. I'm still trying to get used to how this site works. I'v added a bit to my first post
     
  5. AnnLuncies

    AnnLuncies Registered User

    May 8, 2015
    4
    Thx for your welcome. I'm still trying to get used to how this site works. I'v added a bit to my first post
     
  6. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,747
    Female
    London
    Hi and welcome to TP.

    The first step is to arrange a needs assessment with social services for your mum. That should determine the help she would be entitled to like carers coming 4 times a day or a day care centre or sitting service so that her friend gets some time to themselves. They can also request a carers assessment for themselves. You could enquire about memory gadgets/ tracker devices from telecare or adaptations to the home like grab rails through the OT department.

    The next step is to contact the local Alzheimer's Society, Age UK and/or Carers Centre for practical and emotional support. They have groups your mum could attend like Singing for the Brain and other clubs and give you practical support with benefits or filling in forms as well as emotional support. They could also be an advocate in dealings with authorities.

    You or her friend should look into things like Attendance Allowance and council tax exemption for her, as well as arranging for power of attorney before it's too late - very important.

    It sounds a lot initially but once things are in place it should take some of the strain off.
     
  7. AnnLuncies

    AnnLuncies Registered User

    May 8, 2015
    4

    Hi thx for the advice I am already power of attorney for my Mum...I'v been trying for years to get Mum's friend to join Alzheimer's Society, Age UK she kept saying "they were fine & could manage"....Obviously they can't . Mum's friend now want me to sell mum's house and buy Mum a flat in a sheltered housing complex.
    I feel this would be disastrous as Mum's mental state is only stable when she is in her own familiar home
     

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