new member

mel

Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
1,656
63
Sheffield
Hello again
I took mum to the GP today and she is now registered . The GP was really sensitive about the whole thing and has immediately referred her to local mental health and social services,telling me some sort of respite/day care is absolutely essential for my own sanity!! She also echoed what so many of you have said and that is to make sure I look after the needs of my husband and family first which seems to add to my guilt at the moment...
I felt so much brighter as i left the surgery....The doctor did point out though that I may have to fight to get respite/day care....not looking forward to that much....bit of a scaredy cat!:)
 

Áine

Registered User
Feb 22, 2006
994
sort of north east ish
Well done Mel. I was wondering how it had gone :) Having a decent GP is a real positive in all this. For what it's worth, my experience suggests that it helps to major on possible risk when it comes to fighting for services: danger to self and others is what gets people interested. Good luck.

Áine
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
Glad to hear the good news .

I found that I had to wait a long while for day care , but respite was ok , you go girl & push for it , if you don’t mind me saying
 

noelphobic

Registered User
Feb 24, 2006
3,452
Liverpool
mel said:
Hello again
She also echoed what so many of you have said and that is to make sure I look after the needs of my husband and family first which seems to add to my guilt at the moment...
I!:)
Don't forget that YOUR needs are very important too! There have been times when I have felt run ragged by meeting the needs of my parents and of my son and felt that MY needs didn't get a look in!
 

mel

Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
1,656
63
Sheffield
Yes, the doctor did also tell me to look after me too! Must say I do feel a bit frazzledat times...not knowing what each day will bring. I took mum to Ladybower reservoir(local beauty spot) today for our daily trip out and then for a pub meal(mums ended up in her handbag as usual....I drew the line at her putting her ice cream in a serviette though!!) and it was a really lovely afternoon....I know she'd forgotten as soon as we got back but she enjoyed it at the time...so all in all things are good today.Mum's been with us 14 days now and we've had 4 good days which I think is very encouraging:) :)
 

mel

Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
1,656
63
Sheffield
...And the doctor did tell me to lay it on a bit thick in order to get help...ie tell them I cant cope/marriage is crumbling/kids suffering etc etc ....she really was brilliant....hard to discuss my mum in front of my mum if you see what I mean...but mum didn't bat an eyelid....she was more interested in getting out of the surgery and going for her daily trip....Today I'm not the daughter from hell....I'm her best friend:rolleyes:
 

Lynne

Registered User
Jun 3, 2005
3,433
Suffolk,England
Hi Mel

mel said:
Yes, the doctor did also tell me to look after me too! Must say I do feel a bit frazzled at times...not knowing what each day will bring.
Yes, I think the uncertainty can sometimes be the most tiring thing. If it was mumps or measles, or recovery from an operation, there are known timescales. You are sick for 2 weeks (or whatever), or you'll have to be convalescent for 2 months but then you can get back to normal. But AD can throw completely opposite behaviours at you from 1 day to the next! Monday's angel turns into Tuesday's demon!
I took mum to Ladybower reservoir (local beauty spot) today for our daily trip out and then for a pub meal (mums ended up in her handbag as usual....I drew the line at her putting her ice cream in a serviette though!!) and it was a really lovely afternoon....I know she'd forgotten as soon as we got back but she enjoyed it at the time...
She's living in the moment now, so enjoy the 'now' with her, don't worry if she doesn't remember it a few hours later.
:D My Mum's a devil for squirrelling away the little sachets of sugar in her handbag, but she came unstuck (or actually quite the opposite!) when she swiped one of those little plastic servings of jam, then squashed it in the car & burst it open in her bag! Eeuww, what a mess.

so all in all things are good today. Mum's been with us 14 days now and we've had 4 good days which I think is very encouraging:) :)
Well, it's been a big change, for all of you, but it's more difficult for her to learn new things and routines, having been "up-rooted". Hopefully it will get better day by day, as she feels more secure (I was going to say "it's harder for her ...", but it's harder on you!)

...And the doctor did tell me to lay it on a bit thick in order to get help...ie tell them I cant cope/marriage is crumbling/kids suffering etc etc ....she really was brilliant....hard to discuss my mum in front of my mum if you see what I mean...
Oh JOY - please, can I have your Doctor!
Today I'm not the daughter from hell.... I'm her best friend
You will always be her best friend, even on the days she doesn't think so.
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
Lynne

My Mum's a devil for squirrelling away the little sachets of sugar in her handbag,
My mum did that the other day when I took her to a pub lunch , I ask her what she doing (as I was takeing her back to the care home & she does not need them , she use to do that before she had AD :rolleyes: anway & she said oh I thought we payed for it :D

Its great to read about other daughter's looking after there mum or dad at home , (as I keep repeating it ) Mum comeing home on 15 May

Mel how old are your children mine are 19,20, 21, 26.......19 , 21 year old daughter live with me son 26 & 20 year old daughter have there own flat , mine you they still do they washing at our home & come around for dinner :rolleyes: all the time
 
Last edited:

mel

Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
1,656
63
Sheffield
my kids are 17, 15, and 11....the 17 year old(Tom) is hoping to go to uni in a year or so....that's if he decides to do any work!!! Typical boy I'm afraid...only does enough studying to get by and always got something more urgent to do if I need help with anything.....wants to go to a uni not too far away so he can bring his washing home!!!!! "Of course that'll be lovely'my dear!!!" I told him (NOT)...My daughter is 15 and I'd be lost without her....she's always willing to help out and while I was away a lot last year caring for mum when my brother went home to London for a break from caring for mum she really was a rock,looking after my youngest....and my youngest is 11....he's the one I am the most concerned about having mum at home but he talks to me about his feelings all the time which is really good....my eldest communicates in grunts all the time!!! We started a family quite late (i was 31 when we had Tom)...not through choice....just one of those things but worth waiting for!!!
 

mel

Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
1,656
63
Sheffield
Thanks to everyone for the encouraging things you write...I'm just so glad i found this site....it's been a really bad day again ....I'm back to the daughter from hell....cruel,stealing money,stealing her house,stealing her dog(who died about 30 years ago)....she keeps telling my dog and cats I hate them....etc etc etc...It's just so good to come on here when she's safely tucked up in bed to read the comments.....some very sad but some make me giggle.....like Margarita's comments about the size of his w***y!!!!
 

mel

Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
1,656
63
Sheffield
It certainly does ,Dick.......You're from a lovely part of the world...Mum's family were from Swindon and I have some very happy memories of visiting Stow,Burford,Lechlade etc and is it Broadway that has those lovely "chocolate box "picture-type cottages?
Wendy
x
 

Members online

Forum statistics

Threads
114,936
Messages
1,681,052
Members
65,937
Latest member
GanEL