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inez

Registered User
Jan 18, 2009
38
0
East Sussex
Hi, I feel a bit of a fraud as my husband has been diagnosed with early stages of Alzheimer's e.g he is still able to drive and cope with his every day needs, but I am finding it difficult to deal with his changing moods. He has always been moody but I don't know from one moment to the next if he is going to be in a difficult mood. Anything can turn him and he seems to resent me going out on my own. My daughter is expecting her first baby any day and I know he doesn't really like me leaving him to go and visit her.
 

Linda Mc

Registered User
Jul 3, 2005
1,879
0
Nr Mold
Hello and welcome to TP Inez you have come to the right place for support and help. You will never be alone here!

I too have a husband with Alzheimer's and no matter what stage anyone with this diagnosis is at it is hard for the carer so come and post often and there will always be someone to give support.

In the meantime have you contacted Admiral Nurses or the Princess Royal Trust for Carers they are there to help and advise you.

Linda x
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,785
0
Kent
Hello inez

Why do you feel a fraud?

The early stages of Alzheimers are as difficult to deal with as any other stage, especially when you have to contend with mood swings.

I had this when my husband was in the early stages, mood swings, temper, denial, aggression.......I lived my life treading on eggshells.

There is also jealousy and possessiveness but a lot of it comes from insecurity. My husband didn`t like me going out because he was frightened I`d have an accident an not come home.

Welcome to Talking Point inez. I think you`ll find there are many of us here who know just what you are having to live with.

Keep posting.
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
0
SW Scotland
Hi Inez, welcome!:)

Don't feel a fraud, we've all been through those early stages, and know how difficult it is to come to terms with.

Stay with us, get to know us, and share your stories, we all understand.

My husband too has dementia, though he's late stage, and is now in a care home.
 

nellbelles

Volunteer Host
Nov 6, 2008
9,843
0
leicester
Welcome, I'm new too..
When my husband began all the mood swings and possessive behaviour 8 years ago I had no idea what it was. He said it was me, that if I did as I was told he would not need to get angry with me.
So slowly he shrank my world, alienated all my family and friends, and all but stopped me going out of the door.
Medication helped the mood swings and the verbal aggression but not the possessiveness, but if his psychiatrist had any idea about dementia I wish he had told me.
So the only advice I can give you is to gently find a way to continue you life, whilst still looking after your husband. And if you go out and tries to make you feel guilty, remember it's the illness not your husband talking, so try not to take it personally.
Helen.
 

gigi

Registered User
Nov 16, 2007
7,788
0
70
East Midlands
Hello Inez....

Welcome to TP....:)

Your husband has been diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease..so you're not a fraud.

Actually I think my husband slipped through the early stages without me realising....:eek:..

Do bear in mind that everyone with AD is different..and can present differently...

[QUOTEand he seems to resent me going out on my own][/QUOTE]....I can't comment on the early stages...but by the time my husband was diagnosed he was resenting certain members of my family..which made life difficult for me.

My advice....?

If your husband is safe to leave..and I imagine he must be given that he is still driving..

Now is the time to develop your independence...and maintain your family ties. And to discover more about the progression of the disease...sadly.

My daughter is expecting her first baby any day and I know he doesn't really like me leaving him to go and visit her.

Your husband doesn't like it...but it's something that you want...

Can I ask? Is this your husband's daughter and grandchild to be?

I'm sorry you had to find us...but so pleased that you have found TP at the beginning of your journey..:)

We look forward to hearing from you again...especially if there's a baby on the way......:D

love gigi xx
 

inez

Registered User
Jan 18, 2009
38
0
East Sussex
Thank you all so much for all your kind words. My daugher who is expecting the baby is not my husband's daugher, so that may make a difference. I can identify with Grannie I think it was who said her husband doesn't like her going out in case she has an accident, as my husband has also said this. At the moment I continue to do things that I want to do, but I feel that sometimes the easiest option would be to just give in and do what he wants, but I am still quite a strong person at the moment so can't really see that happening. Again, thank you all so much, it is real comfort to know that I am not on my own, although it feels like that sometimes.
 

Elizabeth52

Registered User
Jan 14, 2009
4
0
Cheshire
Hi Inze
You are not alone, really. I was in a real state when I first came on the forum, but just reading all the replies really boosted my inner strength. My own husband has dementia/A and still drives just locally but I also have to work full time so it is a leap of faith every day to go out. It is so important to keep your own life going and to be honest to keep an interest outside the family so you are not always answering questions about your husband. I am in a choir and it is great just to go and sing and let it all out!
 

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