• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of rare dementias. It will be hosted by Nikki and Seb from Rare Dementia Support. If you have any questions about rare dementias, they will be here to answer them on Tuesday 3 March between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

new member

richard030332

Registered User
Mar 27, 2008
2
Cornwall
Hello. I am Richard from Cornwall and I look after my wife who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. It is all very new to us and I hope to make contact with others to whom I can talk
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,405
Kent
Hello Richard,

I`m so sorry about your wife`s diagnosis. However you certainly have come to the right place.

You will find lots of people on this site who will understand and offer support and I hope you will find it helpful.

My husband has Alzheimers. He was diagnosed in 2005 but we now think it had been developing since 1999. It is a long and lonely journey, but Talking Point [TP] has helped so much, I hope it does the same for you.
 

richard030332

Registered User
Mar 27, 2008
2
Cornwall
Many thanks for your reply. Yes I think my wife started some time ago. Just not diagnosed! She is 78 and I am 77 For the most part we are self sufficient but it would be good to chat to others who understand. I find that family and friends just want to tell you it is not too bad and that all elderly people get forgetful! You need to be on call 24/7 in order to appreciate the position as you will know!!
Richard
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,405
Kent
I find that family and friends just want to tell you it is not too bad and that all elderly people get forgetful!

Richard
This is the easiest option. The people who say that are either in denial, frightened for themselves or are nervous of becoming involved.

Until you have lived with dementia 24/7, no-one is in a position to make this type of observation. It is dismissive and hurtful.
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Hi Richard, welcome to TP

I care for my husband, who was diagnosed in 2000, and has recently gone into care.

I'm sure you'll find lots of people to talk to here, we're all pretty friendly.

Best wishes,
 

christine_batch

Registered User
Jul 31, 2007
3,388
Buckinghamshire
Hi Richard,
Welcome to Talking Point.
My husband is in last stage in E.M.I. Unit. Diagnoised when he was 58.
Talking Point has been a life saver and have had so much support and made may friends.
Someone always seems to be on line 24/7.
We share the sorrow, heartache, worry and stress but we do have our happy moments and that we share.
Best wishes
Christine
 

pinkjandt

Registered User
Apr 11, 2008
25
hampshire
Hello Richard

Welcome, I am in a similar situation, my husband was first thought to have vasular dementia, but in March it became Alzheimers----such a frightening word

But,you come to terms with it, it isn,t going to change for the better unfortunately,what is needed is that you come to accept the limitations that it imposes
That you re-assess what is important to you

I have come to realise that we do still enjoy each others company and that if Terry misses out on remembering things, as he reminded me the other day [ a good day ] every time something good is happening, the fact that I have to tell him 10 times means that he is overjoyed 10 times over.

regards
Jan
 

gigi

Registered User
Nov 16, 2007
7,788
66
East Midlands
Hello Richard,

And another welcome to TP.

I look after my husband who has Alzheimers and Vascular Dementia.He was diagnosed 2 years ago..but with hindsight I can see that this was creeping on long before that!

I'm learning to take a day at a time..and to try to be flexible to fit in with my husband's life..which has really shrunk recently.

TP is a godsend..there's always someone here to care and share..we even have some fun sometimes..:)

Love gigi xx
 

Lynne

Registered User
Jun 3, 2005
3,433
Suffolk,England
if Terry misses out on remembering things, the fact that I have to tell him 10 times means that he is overjoyed 10 times over.
regards
Jan
:) Jan, what a fabulous way to look at it!

Richard, welcome. There is more hands-on knowledge & experience here than all the medics put together.
As someone else said, you have to live with it to understand what it's like.
And to quote yet another TP contributor, "If you can't change something, try to change the way you look at it."

Best wishes
 

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