Hi..we are main carers for my mother in law, she has been living with us for over a year. I had hoped to care for her for all time but, it has now become clear this will not be possible.She has been diagnosed by the psychogeriatrition, attends a lovely local nursing home as a daycare resident 3 days a week and we are at the moment waiting for her to be assessed by a social worker re the 12 week disregard and her house can go on the market. The psychogeriatrition prescribed Aricept(Donepezil) 5 mgs but she seemed to get worse on it..it was increased to 10 mgs and she got even worse so it has now been reduced to 5mgs again and we will give it a go..the main problems are her mood swings and delusions, she can get verbally aggressive and it is bordering on psychical aggression now. She hides her belongings in the most bizzare places and frequently destroys precious personal belongings i.e jewellry ect and then accuses us of damaging/hiding her things. She seems to really dislike my husband..her son, and will not speak to him and leaves the room when he walks in. As you can imagine this has caused an atmosphere in the past, but I have managed to get him to realise it is not his "mum" but her condition that is showing through.I find it easier to cope because she is not my mum, I call her by her first name..not "mum", I can take one step back as it were and not enter her "box" hence I see a fuller picture and treat her as I would a patient..with kindness, respect and understanding but not get too emotionally involved. When she flies off in a mood about something that did not happen I find it easy to listen, comment briefly, change the subject and make an excuse to leave the room momentarily..I usually say.."I am just going to make the beds"..I must make them about 10 times a day!!
Thank goodness for the internet..were we can talk openly about our feeling and know we are not alone. I often think, when we are having a particularly bad day..however rotten we feel, she must feel 10 times worse..and on top of that, she can not talk about it and get it off her chest..it must be a living hell. Saying that though, sometimes things get so bad we feel..what ever we do is wrong and it is a thankless task..caring..we say thing will get better when she has a place as a patient at the nursing home..but then..the guilt might kick in..could we have managed a bit longer?..time will tell. We plan to go away for a couple of weeks in November and we have found Respite for her..we will need it for sure....
Thank goodness for the internet..were we can talk openly about our feeling and know we are not alone. I often think, when we are having a particularly bad day..however rotten we feel, she must feel 10 times worse..and on top of that, she can not talk about it and get it off her chest..it must be a living hell. Saying that though, sometimes things get so bad we feel..what ever we do is wrong and it is a thankless task..caring..we say thing will get better when she has a place as a patient at the nursing home..but then..the guilt might kick in..could we have managed a bit longer?..time will tell. We plan to go away for a couple of weeks in November and we have found Respite for her..we will need it for sure....
