Hello everyone,
I've been reading your threads for a few weeks now and so decided to jump in.
I've been living outside the UK for over 30 yrs and my 83yr old MIL lives in the NW of England. She has been suffering from some kind of dementure for two years. She has insisted living alone as she thinks she manages very well! Over the last few months we have a cleaning lady go to her house once a week to clean, do her bed linens and her laundry. She also has a visit from a care worker, just for company 1hr a week, visits the hairdresser, who's shop is on the same street as MIL lives, she is collected to go to bingo one afternoon a week and goes to a friend for sunday lunch. So we have five days a week covered with someone 'seeing' her.
In the last few months she appears to suffer from nightime hallucinations and thinks there are people in her house. We know this because she will call her sisters who are elderly but not mentally infirm at 1am in the morning crying to say there are people in the house and they are walking around. When she has stayed with us or my husbands visits her, she went to his room 3 times during the night because she was having a nightmare/hallucination? or because she thought it was time to get up.
She has lost a lot of weight because we think she forgets to eat.
She hadn't picked up her medication because she has forgotten where the Pharmacy is, it's just around the corner, the same one she's used for 35 yrs.
She sits with a list we made her and repeats it all day. It says things like 11am have a cup id tea and a kitkat etc
She doesn't seem to be able to concentrate on a book or the tv long enough to get into the story.
My husband has taken her to the doctor 3 times this year and gets little help as in there's really nothing to do apart from try something to help her sleep and a little memory test of which she couldn't remember times, dates primeministers etc. She said it could be dementure but theres nothing that could be done anyway.
The social services took her off their books because she was 'stable' as if!
Intermediate care said they couldn't help, not their kind of work and social services now may be able to send someone twice daily for cooking a meal.
This won't help the fear and anxiety.
MIL always tells Drs and SS that she is ok, doesn't need any help, can manage alone and doesn't want to go into a NH.
We think she can no longer carry on living alone but the doctor and SS say no one can force her into a home if she objects. Her stairs are very steep and she could easily fall. Her sofa is covered in burns as she smokes and she says she's afraid and can't cope but when asked if she would like to try a NH she cries and shouts and says she's never going to go in one of those.
Any suggestions about what we can do will be greatly appreciated. Sorry this is so long.
Vera
I've been reading your threads for a few weeks now and so decided to jump in.
I've been living outside the UK for over 30 yrs and my 83yr old MIL lives in the NW of England. She has been suffering from some kind of dementure for two years. She has insisted living alone as she thinks she manages very well! Over the last few months we have a cleaning lady go to her house once a week to clean, do her bed linens and her laundry. She also has a visit from a care worker, just for company 1hr a week, visits the hairdresser, who's shop is on the same street as MIL lives, she is collected to go to bingo one afternoon a week and goes to a friend for sunday lunch. So we have five days a week covered with someone 'seeing' her.
In the last few months she appears to suffer from nightime hallucinations and thinks there are people in her house. We know this because she will call her sisters who are elderly but not mentally infirm at 1am in the morning crying to say there are people in the house and they are walking around. When she has stayed with us or my husbands visits her, she went to his room 3 times during the night because she was having a nightmare/hallucination? or because she thought it was time to get up.
She has lost a lot of weight because we think she forgets to eat.
She hadn't picked up her medication because she has forgotten where the Pharmacy is, it's just around the corner, the same one she's used for 35 yrs.
She sits with a list we made her and repeats it all day. It says things like 11am have a cup id tea and a kitkat etc
She doesn't seem to be able to concentrate on a book or the tv long enough to get into the story.
My husband has taken her to the doctor 3 times this year and gets little help as in there's really nothing to do apart from try something to help her sleep and a little memory test of which she couldn't remember times, dates primeministers etc. She said it could be dementure but theres nothing that could be done anyway.
The social services took her off their books because she was 'stable' as if!
Intermediate care said they couldn't help, not their kind of work and social services now may be able to send someone twice daily for cooking a meal.
This won't help the fear and anxiety.
MIL always tells Drs and SS that she is ok, doesn't need any help, can manage alone and doesn't want to go into a NH.
We think she can no longer carry on living alone but the doctor and SS say no one can force her into a home if she objects. Her stairs are very steep and she could easily fall. Her sofa is covered in burns as she smokes and she says she's afraid and can't cope but when asked if she would like to try a NH she cries and shouts and says she's never going to go in one of those.
Any suggestions about what we can do will be greatly appreciated. Sorry this is so long.
Vera