Hi,
Thought as I'm new I'd introduce myself!
I'm 23 and live in Basingstoke with my partner. My mum and dad live about 20 miles away, but I work near them so get to see them a lot.
My Nan lives near London, and has recently been diagnosed with Vascular Dementia. Her memory had been getting worse for a long time, I think I noticed it more as I was away at university so wouldn't see her as often. Now we can have the same conversation many times over. We visited my brothers new house on Sunday, and 5 minutes after going into his bedroom she went back in and asked which room it was and who was staying there. When we ring her she won't remember talking to you the next day, sometimes not even that we've visited. Recently she thought that she'd spoken to my mum and that she'd invited her over, my mum got home from work and found her sat on the sofa reading the paper!
She will go to the shop several times a day, and buy the same things as she's forgotten that she's been the first time. Her fridge is overflowing with food, she has more in there that my parents do in theirs. As she's run out of room she just leaves food on the side, which then goes off. As soon as you walk into the house all you can smell is rotting food. My mum goes round and tries to clear it all out, but my nan gets upset and they end up having an argument about it. Her driving licence has now been taken away as well, as she was forgetting where she was driving to, and once left the car a few streets away and walked home, then the next day couldn't remember doing this and rang Mum saying that it had been stolen.
Mum and Dad wanted her to move in with them, but the outreach worker Mum has spoken to has said that this isn't a good idea as her short term memory is so poor, so it's best to leave her where she is until she needs long term care. The only way that Mum has got her to agree to having the kitchen cupboards etc cleared is making her think that she's helping out my mum as she loves organising. We're doing this in 2 weeks time.
My partner wants to come with us, but I don't think he should as she might see that as ganging up on her. He says that whenever Nan sees me at my mums he's with me, so it would be normal, but whenever I visit her house I'm on my own. And to be honest, I don't want him there if mum and Nan get into an argument like they usually do, as they both get really upset and I don't want him around for that, I see it a family thing.
Also, my Nan does drink more than she should, which isn't helping her dementia. It also causes a lot of the arguments between her and my Mum. My Mum gets stressed out by it as Nan is her mum-in-law, but my Dad doesn't help as much as he could, neither does my aunt. They all have power-of-attorney now, which is one good thing. Anyway, we have tried to persuade her to cut down on her drinking, but it doesn't seem to be working. If anyone has any ideas on how to stop her, this would be much appreciated!
Thanks for reading
Thought as I'm new I'd introduce myself!
I'm 23 and live in Basingstoke with my partner. My mum and dad live about 20 miles away, but I work near them so get to see them a lot.
My Nan lives near London, and has recently been diagnosed with Vascular Dementia. Her memory had been getting worse for a long time, I think I noticed it more as I was away at university so wouldn't see her as often. Now we can have the same conversation many times over. We visited my brothers new house on Sunday, and 5 minutes after going into his bedroom she went back in and asked which room it was and who was staying there. When we ring her she won't remember talking to you the next day, sometimes not even that we've visited. Recently she thought that she'd spoken to my mum and that she'd invited her over, my mum got home from work and found her sat on the sofa reading the paper!
She will go to the shop several times a day, and buy the same things as she's forgotten that she's been the first time. Her fridge is overflowing with food, she has more in there that my parents do in theirs. As she's run out of room she just leaves food on the side, which then goes off. As soon as you walk into the house all you can smell is rotting food. My mum goes round and tries to clear it all out, but my nan gets upset and they end up having an argument about it. Her driving licence has now been taken away as well, as she was forgetting where she was driving to, and once left the car a few streets away and walked home, then the next day couldn't remember doing this and rang Mum saying that it had been stolen.
Mum and Dad wanted her to move in with them, but the outreach worker Mum has spoken to has said that this isn't a good idea as her short term memory is so poor, so it's best to leave her where she is until she needs long term care. The only way that Mum has got her to agree to having the kitchen cupboards etc cleared is making her think that she's helping out my mum as she loves organising. We're doing this in 2 weeks time.
My partner wants to come with us, but I don't think he should as she might see that as ganging up on her. He says that whenever Nan sees me at my mums he's with me, so it would be normal, but whenever I visit her house I'm on my own. And to be honest, I don't want him there if mum and Nan get into an argument like they usually do, as they both get really upset and I don't want him around for that, I see it a family thing.
Also, my Nan does drink more than she should, which isn't helping her dementia. It also causes a lot of the arguments between her and my Mum. My Mum gets stressed out by it as Nan is her mum-in-law, but my Dad doesn't help as much as he could, neither does my aunt. They all have power-of-attorney now, which is one good thing. Anyway, we have tried to persuade her to cut down on her drinking, but it doesn't seem to be working. If anyone has any ideas on how to stop her, this would be much appreciated!
Thanks for reading