New Kid on the block

[Shedrech]

hello honour
you mention mindfulness - I didn't get on with that myself
however, I do find the ideas behind compassionate communication have helped me with my approaches to my dad
here's a link
http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?30801-Compassionate-Communication-with-the-Memory-Impaired
best wishes

 

[Honour]

Rivastigmine

This drug does seem to have helped with the night terrors, The dose is now 3 mg twice a day.
Sadly he now has a urine infection but I very quickly pushed and got antibiotics for him within a matter of hours. Initially they worked brilliantly, within four hours he was looking much better, but as I knew would happen his confusion has got worse. Worse than that is the fact that he doesn't seem to be able to register what I am saying and asking him to do in order to help me. I am having to lift a dead weight all on my own and he is doing nothing to help me with that, in fact he is pulling back against me all the time . I have 3 different layers of incontinence padding on him,because of the uncontrollable Urine flow, trying to avoid a reoccurrence of total,bed changing. How does wee get on a pillow??? and all he does when he needs to 'go' is pinch his Willy and pulls out of the pants !!! God it's small now! You need a pin to pull it out!! Plus risking the urine going everywhere. Strangely though in the middle of the night last night he managed to get out of bed and go to the toilet himself, twice. How do they do that? And yet they can't understand what you're trying to ask of them.

The trouble is I end up shouting at him and having to Pull on him hard in order to stop him from going backwards . I really don't know what else to do if anybody has a suggestion I would be very grateful.

His daughter is coming to look after him, previously arranged before the infection, and as I have booked a hotel with a girlfriend to go away I'm continuing to do so. Part of me hopes he's not a lot better so that she knows what is going on and how very difficult he can be, be it the illness or his own personality that makes him like this.

I hope I'm doing right by going away .

 

[paddiwak]

This drug does seem to have helped with the night terrors, The dose is now 3 mg twice a day.
Sadly he now has a urine infection but I very quickly pushed and got antibiotics for him within a matter of hours. Initially they worked brilliantly, within four hours he was looking much better, but as I knew would happen his confusion has got worse. Worse than that is the fact that he doesn't seem to be able to register what I am saying and asking him to do in order to help me. I am having to lift a dead weight all on my own and he is doing nothing to help me with that, in fact he is pulling back against me all the time . I have 3 different layers of incontinence padding on him,because of the uncontrollable Urine flow, trying to avoid a reoccurrence of total,bed changing. How does wee get on a pillow??? and all he does when he needs to 'go' is pinch his Willy and pulls out of the pants !!! God it's small now! You need a pin to pull it out!! Plus risking the urine going everywhere. Strangely though in the middle of the night last night he managed to get out of bed and go to the toilet himself, twice. How do they do that? And yet they can't understand what you're trying to ask of them.

The trouble is I end up shouting at him and having to Pull on him hard in order to stop him from going backwards . I really don't know what else to do if anybody has a suggestion I would be very grateful.

His daughter is coming to look after him, previously arranged before the infection, and as I have booked a hotel with a girlfriend to go away I'm continuing to do so. Part of me hopes he's not a lot better so that she knows what is going on and how very difficult he can be, be it the illness or his own personality that makes him like this.

I hope I'm doing right by going away .

Honour YOU ARE doing the right thing in going away and leaving his daughter to cope, it does families good to see what horrors we have to cope with. I've gone through a lot of what you are going through (thankfully not the incontinence YET)!!
My two sons have become a lot more helpful since looking after their Dad for a few days in August, it made them realise that what I was saying on the phone was actually happening and was driving me crazy.
Just been away this weekend leaving eldest son looking after his Dad, who had a bowel malfunction which said son had to clean up. This is the first time that has happened, I'm hoping it's not the start of things to come. Went to Chatsworth House to see the Christmas decorations, they were fantastic and I really enjoyed the break. Husband was very tired so went to bed early tonight and has now just appeared. Oh dear.
So do go away and enjoy yourself and say Oh Dear I've forgotten my mobile phone/charger so battery was flat. Then she has to get on on her own. Sometimes we have to be deceitful.
Enjoy
The Forum has helped me to keep my sanity

 

[Honour]

Time out

It was just great to get away to the Winchester Christmas market, the weather was beautiful, blue sky and sunshine. It did me the world of good I just wish I had had longer , there was so. Uch I didn't get to see.
I would also love to see Chatsworth at this time of year too.

You were quite right it did do his daughter good . She didn't do as I suggested and double up on the incontinence padding and therefore had to was sheets!! What I can't understand her doing is putting the wet pads etc straight in the kitchen bin unwrapped!!! I had left nappy sacs all around and had plenty of ordinary plastic bags to hand.

I think it was a rude awakening how his memory had been made worse by the infection but was still in denial as she said' of course once he is over this it will come back' who is she kidding! Sadly we know better, it only reverts a small amount I believe, never truly getting back to where it was.

What is so sad is that he knows how bad he has been and has got himself into a state and tears about it.

He had me up twice in the night, I got a max of 4 hrs, seeing things that weren't there and although I told myself, as I got out of bed, 'don't loose your rag' I did it's so easy yet not at all helpful I know but I can't seem to help it. I was so tired I guess.


I do wonder if an offer of another break will be volunteered or if I'll have to ask. She didn't find the catering easy either!!

I can't thank you all enough for your support. It does help. Xx