New issue - advice from you wonderful people please ...

[VerityH]

My mum has been in care home since August 2018. Vascular and alzheimers. She's been manageable. She had a fall and broke her hip on Thurs the week before last. She's been in hospital since then. Her hip is good, and she is mobile. BUT she cannot settle, will not sleep, doesn't open her eyes, keeps trying to get up and walk around or climb off her bed in a dangerous way. She was discharged from hospital today, with no visit from the care home, just a phone call. My sister drew the short straw today, and is up there dealing with it all. She won't settle in the care home either. She is on the dementia floor. There are no spaces on the nursing floor. The resident nurse is being less than helpful. The regular daytime staff are going home and leaving saying they cannot offer 1-1 care and my sister doesn't know what to do now.

Anyone been through anything similar? When in the hospital yesterday I asked the doctors if they could give her some kind of sedative/relaxative to give her some relief from all the writhing and thrashing around, and they said no. If the home can't cope with her, what will we do? I did 5 hours each day Sat and Sun in the hospital, and nearly collapsed from exhaustion last night. Neither my sister or I could possibly cope with mum 24/7 at home. Help!!!!!

 

[Shedrech]

Hi @VerityH
Not a good situation for your mum or you

Personally I would ask for an urgent review of your mum's meds, it's simply not fair on anyone for her to be simply left as she is... she may settle back in but there may be some pain issues or even a UTI brewing

You say she is mobile... If she wants to be out of bed might she be in a sensible chair somewhere she can be seen by staff so she can be watched

 

[Bunpoots]

Have the doctors said why your mum can't be given something to calm her down? I agree with @Shedrech - ask for an urgent review of her meds it's not fair on your mum, you or her carers for her to be left like this.

 

[VerityH]

Thanks you two. Trouble is she won't stay put, so someone has to be constantly vigilant to stop her crashing over again. My sister is still there. I guess we'll get a doc called out tomorrow to see what can be done. We're self funding, so not expecting any help from social services. They wiped their hands of my mum and dad as soon as they found out they had more than the £23k some years ago. I am really, really scared. We'll never get her in anywhere else in this state, particularly now the virus has shut everything down.

 

[VerityH]

Dr was called and has just been. He's prescribed a mild sedative for tonight, thank goodness. I hope it can give her a few hours of rest, which she hasn't managed for about a week now. He hopes this is a temporary thing and that she may start to calm over the next few days. I hope so. My sister and I were wondering how much more than £1100 per week (current cost) we will need to find her adequate care, and if such care is even available. We surely aren't the only people in the country dealing with overly agitated dementia sufferers? The home is officially in lockdown now. My sister is there (they obviously realised they needed her there more than they needed covid 19 not there, which speaks volumes.

 

[Frank24]

Dr was called and has just been. He's prescribed a mild sedative for tonight, thank goodness. I hope it can give her a few hours of rest, which she hasn't managed for about a week now. He hopes this is a temporary thing and that she may start to calm over the next few days. I hope so. My sister and I were wondering how much more than £1100 per week (current cost) we will need to find her adequate care, and if such care is even available. We surely aren't the only people in the country dealing with overly agitated dementia sufferers? The home is officially in lockdown now. My sister is there (they obviously realised they needed her there more than they needed covid 19 not there, which speaks volumes.

 

[lemonbalm]

My mother was like this after a hip replacement. Post operative delirium can last for some time. The after effects of the operation, moving in and out of hospital, all takes its toll. Hopefully it can be managed with medication.

It's probably worth my adding that, if it is post operative delirium, which is sounds like it is, although it is incredibly distressing to witness, it is extremely unlikely that your mum will remember anything about it. I hope that she is more settled today and that the care home is able to provide the care she needs, including medication to help keep her calm.