New in care home

[KerryH]

Mum has been in her nursing home now for 10 days. She was a nightmare the first 2 days trying to escape, but settled a little. I visited her Sunday with my brother and she was calm and reasonably lucid. My brother has just called her and she was hysterically sobbing, please don't leave me here. She isn't able to live on her own, has late stage vascular and Alzheimer's and scored a 0 at her last assessment.

It makes me feel so terrible that she's so unhappy.


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[Shedrech]

Morning KerryH
It's such a sad situation, isn't it
We know it's best for our parent to be supported in a care home (dad's been there for 9 months now) - however that doesn't mean all troubles and sorrows disappear.
Remember that you did have a good visit with your mum, so it's not all terrible.
Maybe phone calls are more difficult for her than when you are there with her. Do chat with the staff, it may well be that generally she is calm.
Unfortunately sometimes when my dad sees me he just thinks I've come to take him home - I stay calm and don't engage in that conversation, distracting instead (chocolate biscuits!) and usually over the visit the urge to leave abates.
best wishes