My mum aged 87 was diagnosed just over 2 years ago but was showing signs for a few years before that. My father, also 87, was her carer but sadly he died 4 weeks ago following a short illness. Mum is adamant she wants to stay in the bungalow on her own and therefore social services have provided a pop in service twice a day to check that she has taken her tablets, eaten etc etc. She also has meals on wheels and attends a memory club. She has only been on her own for a week but there have been several disasters already and unfortunately she has become aggressive towards the carers and they are threatening to pull out. Her GP wants her in a home but her Consultant feels it is early days as she is having to adapt to life without Dad, plus carers going in. He feels the Carers need to be more tolerant at this early stage. My parents have always been fiercely independent and would not accept any offers of help from anyone. I am concerned about Mum's safety, as are many other people, but I want it to be her decision to go into a home and not forced upon her. Apparently I am only after her money and she is going to change her Will, so that I get nothing. I work 4 days a week and am a 2 hour drive away from her so can only really visit on my day off. My problem is the verbal and emotional abuse that I am receiving from her. I am to blame for absolutely everything. I have tried to say that people care about her and are concerned for her safety (she is involved with the local church) but I am making it all up. She has a 75 year old cousin who is able to stay with her occasionally and she repeatedly tells me how wonderful he is, but how stupid and useless I am. Much of the time she has difficulty expressing herself and gets very confused, but when she wants to say something nasty it is amazing how fluent she can be! I know this is all part of the dementia, at least I hope it is, but am finding it increasingly difficult to cope. She has reduced me to tears on several occasions but it appears to have no effect on her at all. I am sure I am not the only one to go through this. How do others cope???