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new diagnosis


Registered User
Nov 14, 2014
Hi All,

My mom got diagnosed this week with vascular dementia and i would really appreciate any advice anyone could give. My dad looks after her at present but he had a heart attack earlier in the year, so is not in the best of health himself. I also know he is struggling with the stress of dealing with the constant battle of repeated conversations etc and watching the woman he fell in love with over 50 years ago slowly melt away before his eyes.


Registered User
Jan 14, 2010
East Kent
Hello. Welcome to TP
I am sorry to hear about your Mum.
It can still be a shock when your are first told, even when you knew something was wrong before, so please give yourself time
They're are things that need to be done but they don't have to be done yesterday.

From reading on here I have found a lot of people are not given enough info when first diagnosed. Things like where to go for help/support and more information
So feel free to ask questions, we have some very knowledgeable people on here

I never found a way to stop the repetitive questions or behaviours.
I used to answer the question and then try to distract mum by getting her interested in doing something, even if it was folding towels, or put some old songs on. It is very hard to keep answering the same questions over and over as though it was the first time , it does drive you to distraction, to our carees though it is the first time they have asked.

I am going to give you a couple of links that you may find helpful
A factsheet on here about next steps after diagnosis. it is rather a long read

An old thread on here about Compassionate communication.
It is certainly not an easy act to follow, especially when you are up to yours eyes with it and it doesn't always work or help.

If you are in the uk I found these charities very helpful and understanding

Age UK, formally age concern you will find them in the phone book.
They know what is available in the area , can help with form filling and offer a variety of services, which may include a dementia day centre.

The Alzheimer's society
As above but all specific to dementia, dementia cafe's , courses
Amongst other things you will find their national helpline number here
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