• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can be found in our area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

New diagnosis, support needed

colacube

New member
Apr 5, 2021
2
0
Hi there. My mother in law has recently been diagnosed with early alzheimer's. Despite it being very much expected it has still been a shock and also as you can imagine, upsetting. She doesn't want to talk about it. To be honest my husbands family in general are not great at communicating and it can be frustrating at times! After a bit of reading I don't think there is any point forcing the situation and making her 'accept it'
I want to support her as best I can but have no idea where to start really. Covid hasn't helped at all as things are shut down but I think at the moment she would be unlikely to agree to attend anything with the dementia/alzheimers name attached to it.
We have 2 young children and my husbands brother lives in America so it is very likely to be our little family who will be main carers. My father in law is trying his best in his own way but is already finding things frustrating.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
74,391
0
Kent
Welcome to dementia Talking Point @colacube


I hope the above factsheet will help you.

Please ask if there is anything specific you need help with. There is a wealth of experience among our members.
 

My Mum's Daughter

Registered User
Feb 8, 2020
112
0
Mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in February last year and was told at the memory clinic. As we got in the car, I decided to leave the words Alzheimer's and dementia behind at the clinic and neither of us have mentioned it since.

Mum is aware that she has memory issues but doesn't realise just how quickly she forgets things.
 

margherita

Registered User
May 30, 2017
3,211
0
Italy, Milan and Acqui Terme
Hi there. My mother in law has recently been diagnosed with early alzheimer's. Despite it being very much expected it has still been a shock and also as you can imagine, upsetting. She doesn't want to talk about it. To be honest my husbands family in general are not great at communicating and it can be frustrating at times! After a bit of reading I don't think there is any point forcing the situation and making her 'accept it'
I want to support her as best I can but have no idea where to start really. Covid hasn't helped at all as things are shut down but I think at the moment she would be unlikely to agree to attend anything with the dementia/alzheimers name attached to it.
We have 2 young children and my husbands brother lives in America so it is very likely to be our little family who will be main carers. My father in law is trying his best in his own way but is already finding things frustrating.
I'd suggest you think also about the legal and financial aspects ot the situation , such as getting LPA and whatever might be useful to manage your MIL .
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,735
0
Hello @colacube

I think you are wise not to force things. Gentle compassionate support is a good way to go, dealing with issues and symptoms as they arise. The forum is a very understanding place and the members will be able to help you along with anything that comes up.

There is a good, free online course (next one in July) about dementia if you are interested and have the time (probably not with 2 small children but the link is below just in case). You can learn an awful lot from this forum though.

 

Louise7

Volunteer Host
Mar 25, 2016
3,001
0
Welcome from me too @colacube you've come to the right place for friendly support and advice so keep posting.
You might find this carer's guide helpful as it contains lots of good information including benefits, financial (LPA), planning ahead and sources of support, although don't assume that you are responsible for the caring role (especially with 2 young children) as there is other help available if your MIL needs it:
 

colacube

New member
Apr 5, 2021
2
0
Ahh, thanks so much everyone for your kind & helpful replies. The LPA is pretty much sorted. I've actually ordered quite a few leaflets from alzheimer's UK and they are really useful. It just seems to be happening quickly and even from January things have accelerated so much 😪

My cousin was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago and I remember his 'plan' for treatment and the subsequent plans for if that plan didn't work. This feels nothing like that - like we have been handed a bombshell and have very little we can do ... sorry that probably makes no sense! Guess I just feel totally powerless and Just wish it wasn't happening.
 

KatFox

New member
Apr 7, 2021
2
0
Hi @colacube
Ahh, thanks so much everyone for your kind & helpful replies. The LPA is pretty much sorted. I've actually ordered quite a few leaflets from alzheimer's UK and they are really useful. It just seems to be happening quickly and even from January things have accelerated so much 😪

My cousin was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago and I remember his 'plan' for treatment and the subsequent plans for if that plan didn't work. This feels nothing like that - like we have been handed a bombshell and have very little we can do ... sorry that probably makes no sense! Guess I just feel totally powerless and Just wish it wasn't happening.
Hi there - I'm a newbie too. Mum got her diagnosis just a month ago - and doesn't really understand her condition so I don't bring it up. The first thing I realised is I needed to change my behaviour - it's more important that my mum isn't distressed - much more important than me constantly reminding her she's wrong. I've also tried to 'electrify' her house (sounds dangerous) with alexa plugs and timers - so I can control things remotely if she needs support. Its really scary tho - she's 350 miles away and lives alone - bro pops in once a week. I worry about the 16 tablets she takes a day (or not takes) and about her future knowing she's never going to get better...so I totally understand and I'm sending you a huge hug in support xx
 

Staff online

Forum statistics

Threads
121,108
Messages
1,773,704
Members
72,126
Latest member
kirst2000_uk