Thank you to everyone who replied to my 'New Diagnosis' thread. I was so moved that people felt it important enough to reply to me. Thank you so very much for your kind thoughts and suggestions.
Here I am, one week on from the diagnosis. It is 3 in the morning and I have yet to go to bed but I suspect you all know about sleepless nights. Whether it is the new diagnosis which makes me see my husband's illness so differently I don't know. He was, and still is, being treated for depression in hospital and, as a consequence, I thought he might at least get a bit better. As yet there has been no suggestion for treatment of his AD. His deterioration appears to have progressed at a pace. 5 months ago I thought he was OK psychologically - not going out much and a bit down (or so I thought) with the back pain which resulted in the three lots of surgery during a three week period. But I suspect the trauma of the operations and the subsequent medical procedures just magnified the underlying AD. I am still so desperately upset that I misinterpreted the signs because I was convinced that his back problems of so many years were at the bottom of everything.
With the exception of breakfast he wont eat the hospital food so I go in twice a day to 'feed' him. He says he can't eat 'bits' so I take in sieved fortified soups and he has ice cream, mousses, mashed bananas etc and the obligatory fortisips. 7 weeks ago he was eating with a knife and fork and now he sometimes can't or wont feed himself even with a spoon. He accepts being spoon fed by me or a care assistant. If I'd said 6 months ago that today I would have been spoon feeding him he would have laughed it off as ridiculous. Due to his back problems his walking hasn't been good and now sometimes he wont walk at all because he says he can't yet at other times (even minutes later) he just gets up and takes himself down the hospital corridor unaided and supported. Sometimes he'll stand when asked but at others he sticks his feet out in front of him and refuses to budge. Sometimes he can find his way to the toilet and sometimes he 'freezes' in a doorway because he can't 'understand the space' - his words. Sometimes he is all but silent when I am with him but then speaks in long and decisive sentences when he doesn't want me to stay with him at the hospital any longer that visit. I don't understand what is happening because sometimes the hospital staff say 'he's come up a bit today' meaning his depression has lifted temporarily yet all I see is a massive deterioration in his basic life skills and I don't know how to help him at all. The only constructive things I seem able to do are prepare his soups and feed him and make sure his clothes are clean and ironed.
Here I am, one week on from the diagnosis. It is 3 in the morning and I have yet to go to bed but I suspect you all know about sleepless nights. Whether it is the new diagnosis which makes me see my husband's illness so differently I don't know. He was, and still is, being treated for depression in hospital and, as a consequence, I thought he might at least get a bit better. As yet there has been no suggestion for treatment of his AD. His deterioration appears to have progressed at a pace. 5 months ago I thought he was OK psychologically - not going out much and a bit down (or so I thought) with the back pain which resulted in the three lots of surgery during a three week period. But I suspect the trauma of the operations and the subsequent medical procedures just magnified the underlying AD. I am still so desperately upset that I misinterpreted the signs because I was convinced that his back problems of so many years were at the bottom of everything.
With the exception of breakfast he wont eat the hospital food so I go in twice a day to 'feed' him. He says he can't eat 'bits' so I take in sieved fortified soups and he has ice cream, mousses, mashed bananas etc and the obligatory fortisips. 7 weeks ago he was eating with a knife and fork and now he sometimes can't or wont feed himself even with a spoon. He accepts being spoon fed by me or a care assistant. If I'd said 6 months ago that today I would have been spoon feeding him he would have laughed it off as ridiculous. Due to his back problems his walking hasn't been good and now sometimes he wont walk at all because he says he can't yet at other times (even minutes later) he just gets up and takes himself down the hospital corridor unaided and supported. Sometimes he'll stand when asked but at others he sticks his feet out in front of him and refuses to budge. Sometimes he can find his way to the toilet and sometimes he 'freezes' in a doorway because he can't 'understand the space' - his words. Sometimes he is all but silent when I am with him but then speaks in long and decisive sentences when he doesn't want me to stay with him at the hospital any longer that visit. I don't understand what is happening because sometimes the hospital staff say 'he's come up a bit today' meaning his depression has lifted temporarily yet all I see is a massive deterioration in his basic life skills and I don't know how to help him at all. The only constructive things I seem able to do are prepare his soups and feed him and make sure his clothes are clean and ironed.