1. Our next Q&A session is on the topic of Christmas and dementia.This time we want our Q&A to involve our resident experts, you! Share tips and advice on navigating Christmas here in this thread.

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new chapter comes suddenly

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by patchworkamber, Feb 4, 2015.

  1. patchworkamber

    patchworkamber Registered User

    Jan 6, 2014
    south east wales
    Sitting with the tv volume turned down so can hear if hubby moves or tries to get out of bed Next door. The bed has been brought downstairs as OH came home from hospital today after 3 week stay. He has VD just over a year and it was mild but after yet another fall and an acute confusional state whilst on the ward, his mobility, never brillant, has plumetted and he now seems to have progressed to middle stage'. Suddenly our home is a mini hospital with a commode, bag of incontinence pads. We have the age cymru rapid response service so there will be a carer calling each day..
    Life is now really uncertain and i could do with that virtual cyber hug and some positive sayings! It is tempting to have another large glass of vino but need to stay with it for the night. Will be on the sofa next to him in the front room.. thank you.
  2. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    Hello patchworkamber sending you a great big ((((HUG)))) So sorry to hear about your hubby, it is so nice to have a glass of wine it does help, my tipple is a couple of beers, use to drink wine but to addictive for me. We need to keep alert when caring for our husbands take care ♡♡♡
  3. di65

    di65 Registered User

    Feb 28, 2013
    new zealand
    Here is one of those hugs Patchworkamber

    <<<<<< H U G S >>>>>>

    Thinking of you from across the oceans
  4. MeganCat

    MeganCat Registered User

    Jan 29, 2013
    South Wales
    Big hug!
    I do emphasise - my mums starting a new chapter (new book it seems) too - how quickly things can change when they become acutely unwell.
    She started the year in a residential floor, fully mobile, able to say when she needed the loo, and could feed herself finger food. Roll on a month of flu chest infection and hospital and she can't get up, is 2x incontinent and needs to be fed (but at least she's eating more than she was a couple weeks ago) - she needs a nursing bed now. It's knocked her dementia on a notch or two:(
  5. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    Do feel for you Patchworkamber, it's a lonely and frightening place you find yourself in. I'm glad you are posting on here. I thought my husband had taken a massive step down on Tuesday and I was distraught, but it seems to have been temporary - this time.
    None of us know what to expect and that's hard.
    Take care sweetie, big hugs to you.
  6. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    North Somerset
    Big hugs from me too. xx

    Sent from my GT-N5110
  7. Twinkletoes25

    Twinkletoes25 Registered User

    Oct 26, 2014
    Be assured that you've come to the right place. There are so many people in this forum who can understand how you feel and many who are travelling similar paths.

    Sending BIG HUGS YOUR WAY!

    Attached Files:

  8. Feline

    Feline Registered User

    Oct 25, 2012
    East Devon
    Hi patchwork amber,
    Sending special hug just for you, things could improve a bit now he's home from hospital. Hope it does, if not go with the flow, your lucky to have rapid response to support you for now. Take care.
  9. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    Really very much understand the feeling of uncertainty. My feelings exactly over the holiday part of December, last year. Good move re the bed. I would have done the same. Mammoth hug for you and wishing you all the very best. Sneak a rest time in for yourself when you can.

    I like a beer as well. Who mentioned that? :D
  10. DIANE69

    DIANE69 Registered User

    Jan 7, 2014
    I am so sorry.I was in this position with my husband who also had vascular dementia.We too became a mini hospital with the bed down stairs and me sleeping on the sofa.My advise would be to take all the help you can get and don't wait for things to get to crisis point.We ended up with a all singing hospital bed which was such a help and special mattress to prevent pressure sores.We then had a special chair and hoist provided which meant that Tony could still sit out even when he lost any ability to stand even supported.I made the mistake of not asking for things early enough as I did not want to accept how quickly things could get worse especially with infections.It is such a difficult time.Hugs and my best wishes and occasionally that second glass of wine is not a bad idea.
  11. patchworkamber

    patchworkamber Registered User

    Jan 6, 2014
    south east wales
    new chapter etc

    Thank you so much all for your responses. It really does help to know you are not alone. Invested in a basic baby monitor today and will try sleeping upstairs in our bed. That rustling waterproof duvet cover prooved too much, but did the job!
    As said , it seems the infection has left him with a more advanced dementia And he is sleeping sooo much but guess he needs it.
    Best wishes to all on our unpredictable journey.
  12. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    I was just about to suggest a baby monitor! You beat me to it. The other thing I thought of was a pressure mat by the bed.

  13. Lilac Blossom

    Lilac Blossom Registered User

    Oct 6, 2014
    Hi Patchworkamber

    Similar situation here - hubby has VaD and very poor mobility due to various health problems. I put two single beds in back room - bathroom downstairs, so it seemed the most feasible thing to do but I know what you mean - we arrange everything around the home for the convenience of our loved ones. Mini hospital is a good description.

    Hubby sleeps an awful lot. During the day he sits with table in front of him and nods off at any time.

    Now about that vino - well I have never really found wine that I enjoy, don't know why that is as most people seem to like it :D Maybe I should move on to beer :D
  14. Jinx

    Jinx Registered User

    Mar 13, 2014
    Hi Patchworker, huge sympathy from me. My OH has been in hospital for five days following a serious chest infection. He's coming home tomorrow and I'm keeping everything crossed that he hasn't deteriorated, or at least the confusion he is having in hospital will improve once he's home. He also has vascular Dementia and the changes seem to come in big steps I find rather than it being a gradual process. Big hug. By the way I'm in SE Wales too.

    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
  15. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    A cyber hug may be a treat, but here's some tasty things to eat
    Some choccies, and I've tried to make, a huge non-slimming creamy cake

    And if you want some extra cheer, I've found a lovely crate of beer
    But should your taste be more refined, I'll guarantee you're wined and dined

    A carers life needs all your powers, so here's some pretty fragrant flowers
    And if the days are dark, and low, then Talking Point's the place to go

    Some friendly hugs won't go amiss, a kindly word, a smile, a kiss
    So if you feel you've had enough, just lean on us, we're strong and tough! :D
  16. Caroleca

    Caroleca Registered User

    Jan 11, 2014
    Ontario canada
    Awe Scarlett, that is awesome
  17. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    North Somerset
    More great verse, Scarlett. Don't know how you find the words

    Sent from my GT-N5110

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