New Carers, same old problem!

[Plum1108]

We replaced the last lot of carers as we lost confidence in them and the new ones, after a good start, are now starting to seem not much better.

They are supposed to go in each evening around 6ish to her her dinner and make sure she takes her meds but they keep turning up about five and haven't given her a meal this week , mum says she is not hungry or has already eaten - biscuits usually! Also, they go in one morning a week to make sure she showers and washes her hair. She is now refusing this, saying that she had a bath the day before. Don't they realise she has dementia!

I have spoken to the agency and complained. I asked the agency to tell the carers to call or my sister or brother if she is not cooperating but nobody has rung us so far.

Social services don't want to know and her GP is next to useless - in fact, I don't think she has seen her GP in over a year. She sees a consultant every 6 months, he does the mental test thing, tells us she's dropped a point and recommends she stays on the aricept, as although he doesn't know if it is helping it might be! No advise or pointing us in a direction for help etc. I honestly think I could do a better job!

I'm considering cancelling the carers and seeing how she copes without them. She takes her meds (aricept and a statin) so unregularly that I don't think it would make much difference if she came off them.

She doesn't want to go into a home and I don't blame her but I really don't know what to do or where to go next...... She is so fit and active, phsyically and looks well and covers up her memory loss that I sometimes feel like her dementia is not taken seriously. She is usually happy in herself as long as you don't challenge her about her memory or discuss money!


Px

 

[dottyd]

I know the feeling-give it a go. I got mum a tablet dispenser and she manages that quite well so far.
A cleaner goes in twice a week and the rest of the time she goes to groups or is with friends or me.

 

[Farmergirl]

We had carers arranged by SS as an emergency for6 weeks. They were supposed to arrive at 8am and stay an hour - to make suremum was up, dressed, washed, breakfasted and took her tablets.
More often than not, mum would get up, pretend to have washed and dress (in dirty clothes)herself.
The carers were often late (sometimes arriving at 8.45 or later) and not ensuring mum was washing. I noted the times of arrival (often not the times they were recording in their book) and the fact that they never stayed an hour. I reported this to SS. After all, as a self funder, it was mum who was paying for this.

Not impressed.

 

[Mariondb]

I think you have to kick ass - if you withdraw carers then you put more on yourself and in fairness your Mum is not going to get better, so reinstating later may cause more problems.

This system - from our experience, wants to put pressure on you so you do more - you play into their hands if you do so.

I would insist on a meeting with your SW - her not wanting to know is simply not good enough! They want the elderly to remain at home, then they have to be involved. Explain to her that the carers are simply not doing the job they are being paid to do - they have to know because believe me, your Mum will not be the only one not receiving what their business is to provide.

We had terrible problems with my MIL's first set of carers and have to say our concerns increased with money and food disappearing and a break in to her flat when coincidentally she was in hospital. The break in was made to look opportunist but was clearly done by a key safe holder!!

So, for me I wouldn't take on more work, nor would I withdraw care, I would fight for carers that do the job they are supposed to be doing for their client.

 

[Jess26]

some of what you say could be written about my mum.

Her carers are often not on time, but as they have explained to us, it only takes a couple of clients to be extra slow or difficult for them to get behind.

Mum does the "I've already showered" routine but as the carers say they are only allowed to challenge the client 3 times and then they have to let it go. It has been written in mum's log more than once that carer has tried to get her to put on clean clothes when she arrives in the morning, but with a firm NO from mum what can she do.

Same with the not eating, if mum refuses, they can only try gentle persuasion.

Being a carer is a rubbish job, with terrible hours. Just my point of view.

 

[Pheath]

Are your carers paid for privately or through Social Services, from what you write about the agency I'm guessing perhaps privately? We don't qualify for any SS help at all so have to pay for any extra carer help we get. In total we've had about 6 different carers both for morning and evg help and although now have 3 very good people have had problems in the past especially with reliability eg. cancelling at short notice. I would definitely change agencies if you're not getting the satisfaction you should be and also stress that you want carers who have experience and an understanding of dementia. Luckily through word of mouth, ads. and recommendations we've found carers not attached to agencies as they charge a big commission and if you're using them on a regular basis the bill can quickly mount up. Even though it takes a lot of organising and admin initially it's definitely worth it to find good poeple. Dad went v downhill when he came off aricept after a few days although we're much further into the illness than you, but all the same think it's v important your mum takes her meds regularly.

 

[Charlyparly]

When you say they haven’t given her a meal, do you mean she didn’t eat it or just they didn’t bother making it?

Also, do they see / record to say she’s had her meds or are they just leaving them out and assuming she’ll have them later?