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new carer for people with dementia

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by elizabethley, Apr 2, 2015.

  1. elizabethley

    elizabethley Registered User

    Apr 2, 2015
    Hi everyone. This is my first post. I have 4 weeks ago started to work for a care organisation. I sit a lot for husbands/wives of those with dementia. One person whom I am assigned to sit with does not want to be sat with. I did a few days ago manage to take her out for a few hours and it went well but today she was very angry with her husband because I had gone to sit with her and made him make me go.She had forgotten all about the other day. He still works and shes ok for a few hours but keeps phoning him at work if no ones with her . He wants me to persevere in me going . Does anyone know what help/advice might be available to deal with this kind of behaviour for me and her husband so that she can have some life outside her home. Thank you.
  2. henfenywfach

    henfenywfach Registered User

    May 23, 2013
    Hi!.ive been my dads carer for years..im also a volunteer and a dementia friends champion..im also studying hard on dementia.

    Ask as many question about the person as you can!..if their memory is in a particular era or what their likes are..can be a good way if getting someone to feel comfortable with you..

    They will have emotional memories even if they cant recall you being there ..they would still feel what they did even if they cant say so!

    Music is therapeutic listening or singing..have a look at the bookcase senario and if you havent done a dementia friends session go for it its informative. If you can see things through their eyes it helps you to help them...find out who they are their stories etc

    Best wishes

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using Talking Point mobile app
  3. pippop1

    pippop1 Registered User

    Apr 8, 2013
    Perhaps you could say that there's no point in her calling her husband at the moment as you know that he's "in a meeting" and can't be disturbed (or whatever excuse fits with what he does). I'm sure he would be pleased if you could divert her from calling him or tell her that you'll get through for her and then say "he's not answering. We'll try later."
  4. Adcat

    Adcat Registered User

    Jun 15, 2014
    Stick with it. Your a life saver to the husband. I work full time, I live with my dad ( mixed dementia ). He has a carer whilst I am at work. The same carer sometimes stays late so I can meet friends or even stays over so I can have a 24 hr break. My dad was not too keen initially but now all is well. The word tomorrow is big on my vocabulary with my dad. Everything in our life happens tomorrow, everything is happy and wonderful and dad never ever has bad news to contend with.
    I am going to be an actress when all this is over and move to Hollywood!:D
  5. mancmum

    mancmum Registered User

    Feb 6, 2012
    Memory board.

    My Dad has a memory board with photo of the person we call 'housekeeper/helper'. Photo has a nice pic of her with pinny and rubber gloves. Even though he has no short term memory over time this photo does at the moment embed. His visual memory is better than his verbal one.

    She does do house hold tasks. She does defer to him 'Would you like your bed linen changing'. She takes him out for walks..'Your daughter says we need to get some cat food'.

    Everyone is different....these are just ideas.

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